


Wings of Wax

by Ariallyn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2014-12-06
Packaged: 2017-12-31 09:38:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 67,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1030152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ariallyn/pseuds/Ariallyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While Castiel is being powered by the souls of Purgatory, he can't help but be upset over the way the Winchesters treated him. Troubled at the lack of love and respect he is receiving from everyone, he is overjoyed when he meets a human who actually treats him as he believes he deserves. The first two chapters will take place in this time period, and will go directly according to canon (We don't see it happen, but it very well COULD have happened). Then the story skips ahead to season nine and it goes off canon from there. (Don't read if you don't want spoilers)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A God Among Men

**_Icarus_ ** _**(IK-uh-rus):**  _ _Son of Daedalus who dared to fly too near the sun on wings of feathers and wax. Daedalus and his son had been imprisoned by King Minos of Crete within the walls of his own invention, the Labyrinth. But the great craftsman's genius would not suffer captivity. He made two pairs of wings by adhering feathers to a wooden frame with wax. Giving one pair to his son, he cautioned him that flying too near the sun would cause the wax to melt. But Icarus became ecstatic with the ability to fly and forgot his father's warning. The feathers came loose and Icarus plunged to his death in the sea._

* * *

Castiel took a deep breath as he exited the church, the sounds of panic and hysteria rising behind him. This didn't feel like he had expected it to. He had thought that it would feel good when all the people in that church had knelt before him, that he would be happier when worshipped. But, instead he felt dissatisfied and even powerless. He snorted at himself disdainfully. He, probably the most powerful being on this planet, felt powerless. All of those people, they had stared at him wide-eyed and frightened. Though his father had certainly been feared, worshipped as a being who was certainly not known for his mercy (he wiped out the entire human race with a flood for heaven's sake), he had also been  _loved_. And as he looked into the eyes of the humans on their knees, he could see that he was not loved. All that showed in their eyes was the panic caused by the crumpling of their pastor onto the floor.

He shook his head and prepared himself for flight when a voice stopped him.

"Wait! Sir! Wait!"

He turned to see a young blonde woman running towards him from the church. He cocked his head to the side, not knowing what to expect. She stopped in front of him, panting. He waited, surprised that this girl had come to him despite the terror that he had probably caused her. He was even more surprised, however, when she got down on both knees before him, head bowed.

"I always thought that the Pastor was wrong... My whole church.. They are such hateful people. I just wanted to thank you. Not that I'm happy that he's dead, but it's good to see that God is finally putting a stop to the hatred and hypocrisy that people are committing in his name." Her voice had the slightest hint of a southern lilt.

Castiel looked away from her, a sour taste rising in his mouth. He, of course, could not admit that he wasn't really God. As much as he would like to think that he was, he simply wasn't.

The woman looked up at him, observing him with a scrutinizing stare. Though Castiel could feel her eyes on him, he could not bear to look.

"You know..." she said quietly, "The people in there, they don't know what to think. A lot of them are even refusing to believe that you are God. I don't really know what to believe either. But," she paused, seeming to mull over her thoughts, "even if you aren't the 'real' God, I think that you are definitely something worth believing in." Castiel turned his head sharply to look at her, his brows rising in disbelief. She continued, "All of these years, after the death of my father, after seeing so many horrible things happen to so many innocent people, I found it harder and harder to believe in and love a God that could sit by and do nothing while his creations suffered. But," she smiled, "here you are, and you're doing something. The only time I've ever heard of God actively  _doing_  something to help his people was in the bible, and that was  _thousands_  of years ago. If it's even true, that is. You are here and you are righting the wrongs, and if that doesn't make you deserve my worship more than some idle entity, I don't know what does. If you are willing to take me, I would gladly serve you over that uncaring deity any day."

Castiel stared at her, unable to think of a response. This girl, who knew nothing about him except for the fact that he had just killed a pastor in front of her, was giving him what even the Winchester's wouldn't: faith. Sam and Dean knew that he had good intentions. They knew that he was "one of the good guys," as they put it. Yet, the moment he had asked them to have a little faith in him, to go against their first instincts and support him, they had treated him like a monster. And just like one would behold a monster, they had feared him and cowered before him, without love, without recognition for the things they had gone through together, and without empathy. A creeping doubt slithered into Castiel's mind. He couldn't help it. After all, what sort of girl just runs up to a creature that has killed a man in front of her instead of running away? Why would she give blindly to him what the Winchesters wouldn't with all that they knew about him?

"How do I know that you are telling the truth," he asked slowly, "and not trying to gain some sort of power by getting close to a God like me?"

"Well..." the woman said, pondering his question, "Is there anyway you can look into my mind? I assure you, if you search my mind or my soul or whatever you'll find that my intentions are nothing like what you say."

Castiel nodded. It was logical enough. After all, what could such a tiny insignificant thing like her possibly hide from him? He touched two fingers to her forehead closing his eyes. First, he searched for proof that she was telling the truth about her feelings on the church's sermons.

_"Mom? I don't think I want to come to church with you any more."_

_"Now why on Earth would you say a thing like that?"_

_"I don't know... the way the Pastor talks about things like homosexuality... He's so cruel. I thought we were supposed to love our neighbors?"_

_"Now you stop right there Katrina. You know that bein' gay's a sin. And we ain't got no room for sinners 'round here."_

_"But, how is it a sin if it's not a choice? People don't choose who they fall in love with."_

_"Talkin' like that is gunna get you sent straight to hell young lady."_

_"Mom!"_

_"I'm just speakin' the truth. I hope you ain't over there havin' no queer thoughts. Ain't no daughter of mine gunna be a damn faggot."_

_"Mom!"_

_"Don't you raise your voice at me. Now, I don't wanna hear no more about this, ya hear? I'm payin' for your college tuition so the least you can do is come to church with me once a week. If you don't want to, well then I guess I don't want to help you out financially any more."_

_"...Fine."_

Castiel quickly sifted through the rest of her memories, stopping briefly at the death of her father. He had been shot in a gas station robbery, only guilty of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. It seemed as if everything she had said was true. He could feel the warmth radiating from her, the pure faith and awe, something he had never felt before. He fell in love with the sensation immediately. Yes, he would keep this girl around. Maybe she could help spread his word and bring others to him as well. He moved his hand from her forehead to her cheek, stroking it affectionately. She smiled back up at him.

"Please," he said, "Stand." She did as he commanded, sweeping her long hair out of her warm brown eyes. "Now... I am still not quite sure why you have so easily put your faith into me," he looked into her eyes searchingly, as if there was something in there that her soul could have not told him already, "but I have decided to accept you as my first disciple and advisor. Are you sure you want this Katrina?"

"I won't be the first to say that I'm a bit crazy," Katrina laughed, "I've been told a lot that I'm reckless, but I don't have any regrets so... Yes. I'll go with you wherever you go- for the rest of my life."

Castiel smiled back. It was the first time he had smiled in a long time. Maybe this wouldn't turn out so badly after all.

* * *

Castiel looked through the papers that Katrina had printed out on a number of different organizations. They hadn't spoken much since they had met earlier that day, sharing a mutual feeling of "I have no idea what to say." But now the silence was beginning to make him feel a bit awkward, so he opted for small talk.

"So Katrina," he said, "Tell me about yourself."

"What?"

"I feel like I should know more about you, since we are to be working together."

Katrina bit her lip. It felt odd when he referred to their arrangement in a way that suggested that they were equals. She didn't think of it as "working together." To her, it was more accurate to say that she was simply working for him. She was his servant, not his partner.

"Didn't you already look through all of my memories though?"

"It was more of a skimming. I only really looked at the things that were important to me at the moment. I find that what a person chooses to say about themselves says a lot about them." "Alright…" Katrina said thoughtfully, "Well, I was originally born in Texas."

"That's where the accent is from then," Castiel said.

"Hey! I don't have that much of an accent. You should hear my mom!"

"Yes, I heard her in one of your memories, her accent is certainly thicker."

"Damn straight."

"Okay, moving on…" Castiel urged.

"When I was thirteen, my dad was shot in a gas station robbery…" she said quietly, "and my mom went pretty crazy. She made us move up to Ohio, and we never talked to anyone from our home town. She left behind all of our old stuff, literally purging our lives of anything that had a connection to our past. In fact, she even got rid of me in a way. I started to become less of a daughter to her, and more of a burden that she was forced to bear. She got really religious, and I kind of did the opposite. I went from a girl who gladly believed everything that she was told about God, attending a catholic school and sunday school every week, to practically an atheist. Actually, I went through a phase as a teenager, where I was completely convinced that there was a God, but he was just an asshole and I hated his guts."

"Reasonable," Castiel nodded, "How old are you Katrina?" She had literally told more about herself and her deep seated emotional problems than Dean had ever done in all of the time they spent together combined.

"I'm twenty-five." She was even younger than Sam, by three years, and still emotionally mature enough to admit her own problems. Though, perhaps she did have less of a troubled upbringing than the Winchesters. It seemed as if there wasn't anyone who could best them in that regard.

"And how many more years of college do you have?"

"I'm in my last year for my master's degree in psychology."

"Do you want to become a clinical psychologist?"

"I did, but not anymore."

"Why is that?"

"I think that a servant of the Lord is a more important position than a psychologist."

"I suppose you're right."

Katrina smiled.

"You wanna know something else?" she said.

"Sure."

"When I was sitting in church today," she looked down at her hands. " I was thinking about how awful Pastor Jim was. I was wondering why on Earth a god that was apparently so loving could tell people to be so hateful. I thought that maybe there was something wrong with me, that I had missed some sort of holy light that had shined on all of those people that made them so sure of what they believed in. So I started to pray, for the first time in years, and I said, 'Please God, if you're listening, send me some sort of sign. Is this really what you want? Are they right that we should treat these people with such disrespect? And if this isn't what you want, why do you let him continue like this? I don't care which it is, just tell me. Give me some sort of sign. Anything.' And you know what happened?" she looked up at him, "You showed up, and you said," she mimicked his gruff voice, "'I am utterly indifferent to sexual orientation,' and it was like my entire world had flipped upside down. It was a gift from God. Except the gift  _was_  God. And when you left I couldn't stop myself from running after you. You were the answer to my prayers, literally."

Castiel just stared at her. Katrina started to blush, "It sounds really corny, I know."

"It was certainly a miracle that I happened to go to the right church today," Castiel said, and there was nothing in his tone that could let Katrina have the slightest bit of doubt in his sincerity.

* * *

Katrina tried to stifle a yawn, but couldn't manage to hide it completely.

"Alright," Castiel said, "I will take you back to the apartment for the night."

"I'm sorry," Katrina mumbled, ashamed.

"As I have said before, you need not apologize. I understand that you need sleep as a human." Castiel put two fingers on her forehead and flew them to the small apartment he had "rented." In actuality, he just made the landlord believe that an old couple who had paid all off their rent a year ahead of time lived there. They had been there for three days, and Katrina was finally getting used to staying in the apartment with the quiet God. That is, when they were planning their missions. Whenever she went to sleep, Castiel would leave, going God-knows-where. She chuckled inwardly to herself. It was in fact  _God_  who knew.

"I just wish I could be more useful," Katrina sighed, slipping her shoes off.

"You are plenty useful," Castiel assured her, "Your faith alone gives me the willpower to continue my missions."

"So basically you keep me around to stroke your ego?" Katrina teased, immediately flashing back to seriousness as she wondered whether or not she should be joking with Castiel quite yet. It had only been a few days since she had joined him, so she didn't know how Castiel reacted to jokes. She hadn't done nearly as much as she would like. He asked her opinion on a few politicians and corporations, and if she confirmed that they were indeed corrupt or evil he would go to them and do something very similar to what he had done at the church. Sometimes he just caused a huge scene, forcing them to submit simply in awe and terror at the enormity of his power. Sometimes, less often, he would smite the leaders. Katrina did not question any of his decisions. It was not her place.

Castiel, however, chuckled at her joke, causing her heart to leap into her throat. He was always so serious, and sometimes very sad, that she didn't think she would ever hear him laugh at anything.

"Sleep," he said, and though it was a command, it still held an affection that made Katrina feel warm.

"Alright. Goodnight Castiel. Thank you again."

Castiel leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead, before disappearing.

The first time Castiel had kissed her like that, Katrina had frozen with shock. Yet, soon she could see that there was not even the slightest hint of a romantic notion. If anything, the gesture was fatherly. Normally, had a man put her in this completely unromantic light, especially one as attractive as Castiel, she would have been pretty put off. Yet, Castiel was not a man, and she found herself strangely at peace with this unspoken bond of master and child. She was a child after all, in comparison to him. He had never told her his age, but she could tell that his existence extended back an unfathomable length of time. Something about him at times just seemed so unspeakably  _old_.

She flopped down on the bed, flipping open her phone. It seemed that she had received three more voicemails from her mother today.

"Katrina! I don't know if you've run away on your own or if you've gone off with somebody else but either way I'll have you know that there is  _no_  way that I'm-" Katrina deleted the message, listening to the next one, "Katrina, where are you? I'm gettin' ready to file a missing persons report to the police. I hope you realize how much trouble you are causing me! Think of what people-" Katrina pressed delete again. That was just like her mother, worrying more about what people thought of her than the fact that her own daughter was missing. "Katrina, Judith said she saw you yesterday with the man who killed Pastor Jim! I hope for your sake that that isn't true. Either way, I'm not callin' you no more. If you've left I suppose it's time for me to let you be gone. Don't come cryin' back when this turns 'round and bites you in the ass."

Katrina swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. At least it was over. She had nothing but Castiel now, and that was fine with her. She was a servant of the Lord, and no amount of scolding from her bigoted mother would convince her to leave his side. She placed her phone under her pillow and rolled onto her stomach. After a while, she managed to fall into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

Castiel sat on the edge of the grand canyon, his feet dangling over the enormous gorge. The colors of the canyon and the sunset were beautiful. He was proud of how productive he had been. He had visited at least two dozen different organizations that were guilty of cruelty to all different kinds of people, and he had even visited a few places guilty of animal cruelty as well. Of course, Katrina had been a great help over the last few days. Castiel knew of the very large corporations whose hate was publicly broadcasted with a disgusting pride, but Katrina knew of more subtle and less well-known acts of hatred that were just as horrible and in need of correction. Not to mention, she was much better at navigating the internet and researching these different groups.

As well as that, Katrina served another purpose. Whenever Castiel had moments of self doubt, which happened often, she would vigorously assure him that he was doing the right thing. She took it upon herself to make it her life's mission to make Castiel feel like the most holy and loved being in existence. It was pitiful of course. He should not need a human's worship to raise his self-confidence, he was no angsty teenager who needed to be accepted by their peers to have a high sense of self-worth. Yet, he never stopped her. Never had he been beheld by anyone with such love and awe. It was just as the saying; she practically worshipped the ground he walked on. She nearly jumped out of her skin with joy every time he touched her, and had literally no problems with his lack of regard for personal space. She regarded every supernatural act he did as nothing less than a miracle, even if it was nothing more than healing a scrape on her arm. However, he had to admit to showing off a bit at times, healing minor cuts and improving weather conditions just to elicit a reaction from his faithful disciple. But, it just felt so good to be seen with such worshipful eyes.

He had always been significantly more powerful than the Winchesters, but they had never treated him as such. Dean had disregarded his power so many times, even acted as if he were above Castiel. He never gave Castiel the respect that he deserved as a being older than Earth and more powerful than any monster he had ever encountered.

Castiel frowned. Thinking about Dean was making him upset. Though the hunter had scorned him and thrown their friendship aside like trash, Castiel could not help but miss having him by his side. He felt a sudden urge to check up on him, even though he knew that his concern for the hunter's well-being would not be appreciated. However, if he made himself invisible, Dean would never have to know. He stood up, brushing the red dust off of his coat. He honed in on Dean's soul and flew to it's location, hoping that the hunter would be asleep. Dean was always so peaceful when he was asleep.

He wasn't.

* * *

Katrina woke with a start. It was still dark, but the crash of something breaking had thrown her out of her sleep.

"Castiel?" She called groggily, squinting into the dark. There was no response. Her heart thudding in her ears, she got up and slowly crept to the room's light switch. She flicked the light on, and when her eyes adjusted she saw Castiel sitting in a corner, shattered glass from what looked like a vase surrounding him.

"Castiel...?" Katrina asked hesitantly, slowly approaching him, "What's wrong?"

"I went to check on the Winchesters..." Castiel said hollowly. Katrina frowned. Castiel hadn't told her much about the Winchesters, but from what he had said, she knew that they had caused him great deals of pain.

"Did you get into a fight?"

"No... I didn't make myself visible to them. They are under the illusion that their anti-angel sigils will keep me out, and I am going to let them keep believing that. Of course, I am more powerful than an angel."

"Right... so what happened?"

Castiel would not look up at her. She knelt beside him.

"They... they are planning on hunting me down. They want to kill me..." he choked out.

"But, they can't right?" Katrina said, gently putting a hand on his shoulder, "You're too powerful and they're just humans."

"It's not that I'm scared," Castiel said, shaking his head, "It's just that... after all we've been through, they have turned on me so easily. They were my friends. Dean, I rebelled for him, I took on the forces of heaven for him, I have given up my life, all for  _him_. All I ask for in return is his trust, and his response is to hunt me down..."

"Why?"

"Because apparently I am a monster."

"No, I mean, why did you do so much for him? Why is he so important?"

Castiel was silent.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't pry. Pretend I never asked."

Castiel took a deep breath, "I just don't understand... Can't they see that I'm just trying to do a better job than my father did? I am righteous and good, so why don't I deserve their love? What have I done wrong?" His voice broke.

"Castiel... You shouldn't measure your worth based on the opinions of these two men... Frankly, they sound like ungrateful assholes, and horrible friends."

"It's not just them! People bow down to me out of fear for their lives! Never do they worship me with love and faith! Why?"

Katrina carefully placed her hands on either side of Castiel's face. She tilted it up so that she could see his face. Castiel hesitantly looked up into her eyes.

"I love you," she murmured, "and I have faith that you will do what is right. I will never doubt you."

"Yes... I have been thinking about that. I think you may, in fact, be completely insane."

Katrina laughed, "Better a crazy disciple than none at all."

"I suppose you're right... I just wish there was a way I could make them see me the way you do."

"Well... Would it be alright if I gave a suggestion?" She took her hands away from his face and took his hands, looking down at them.

"Of course. You know that I value your counsel greatly."

"Well... you've been spending so much time these last few days smiting people. Maybe you should try helping people. Healing the sick, things like that. People need to see that you have good and loving intentions, not that you are simply out to purge the land of horrible people. Us normal humans who aren't used to the supernatural don't take death so well, even if we don't particularly like the person who died."

Castiel smiled, "You certainly carry a lot of wisdom along with that insanity."

"You know what they say, the craziest people are usually the smartest."

"Katrina?"

"Yes?"

"Are you sure you do not wish to continue your education? It seemed important to you in your memories. You did continue going to church with your mother to keep her funds after all."

"Nah," she shrugged, "Who needs college when you're walking along side God? Literally."

"I am glad that you feel that way. I also enjoy having you by my side."

Katrina smiled and kissed both of his hands, "There is nothing more I could ask for."

Castiel stood, making the broken shards of glass around him vanish with a flick of his wrist. He pulled Katrina up as well. "You should go back to sleep. Tomorrow we will start our missions of healing."

Katrina nodded and made her way back to the bed, surprised when Castiel followed her, sitting at the edge as she laid down.

"You're not going... where ever it is you usually go then?"

"No, I think I will stay here. I'll watch over you as you sleep." He tensed, ready for her to tell him that it was creepy, as Dean used to.

"Alright," she said calmly, shifting under the covers onto her side.

"That's okay with you?" Castiel asked, confused.

"Of course. Why wouldn't it be? I've got God watching over me in my sleep. I couldn't possibly be any safer," Katrina murmured, her eyes closing.

"Goodnight child."

"Goodnight Castiel."

* * *

Castiel entered the hospital room, his heart sinking at the sight of a small girl who was hooked up to a number of machines. Katrina came in behind him and her heart did the opposite. She felt a great joy at the sight of the girl. Not because of what she was going through, but because she knew that the girl was going to be healed, and it was beautiful. This was perhaps the hundredth child they had visited that day, and Katrina had been right. People had reacted with so much more enthusiasm to Castiel, thanking him over and over again, hugging him, kissing him, and crying with joy. She could tell that Castiel was feeling much better.

"Um, can I help you?" The mother said hesitantly from the chair at her child's bedside.

Katrina stepped forward. They had found the people were more willing to listen to her than Castiel. It was probably because she was a woman, and people tended to trust women more, unfortunately.

"Yes. Hello, my name is Katrina, and this is Castiel. Can we talk to you about something?"

"I guess..." the woman said hesitantly.

"Can I ask what happened to your daughter?"

"She was hit by a car... she won't wake up."

"And what would you be willing to do to make her better?"

"What kind of question is that? Anything of course!"

"Well, that is why we're here. We're here to help."

"What kind of joke is this?"

"It's no joke ma'am," Castiel cut in, "I can heal your daughter."

"I don't know what kind of sick people you are but you can-" The mother started angrily.

"Didn't you say you would do anything to help your daughter?" Katrina interrupted, "What harm would it do to trust us? It will only take a second, we will leave as soon as we are done if that's what you want." The woman stared at them, contemplating their words.

"Fine," she spat. Many parents were persuaded by this, so desperate that they were willing to accept help from an apparent madman, because they simply had nothing else to believe in.

Castiel nodded, walking over the girl. The mother glared at him as he put his hand on her forehead. That glare sooned turned into wide-eyed disbelief however as a light shined from Castiel's eyes, and the bruises began to fade away from the girl's skin, color returning to her cheeks. The girl stirred. The woman gasped, rushing forward and taking her daughter's hand.

"Emma? Emma can you hear me?"

"Mommy..?" the girl coughed around the tube that was in her throat, originally placed to keep her breathing. The woman gently pulled out the tube, starting to sob. "Oh my God..."

Katrina smiled as she watched the girl's mother hug her desperately.

The woman looked up at them, tears shining in her eyes, "Thank you. Thank you so much."

"Of course. It's my job after all," Castiel said.

"Who are you?"

"I am God."

"...God?"

"Yes."

"I've never heard of God going around and healing people."

"I'm doing things a bit differently now." Castiel smiled.

"So... who are you?" The woman said, turning to Katrina.

"I'm just a servant of God," Katrina said humbly.

"Like an angel?"

"N-"

"Yes," Castiel interrupted. Katrina glanced at him, confused.

"Well, thank you both," The woman said, giving them a watery smile. "I won't forget this."

Castiel nodded, turning to leave. Katrina followed him out the door, grinning.

"I will never get tired of the joy you bring," she said as they got into the hall.

"That woman made me think," Castiel said quietly.

"About what?"

"When she asked if you were an angel, it gave me an idea."

"Okay..."

"I am God, therefore, I _should_  have angels."

"That makes sense I guess."

"You said that you wanted to be of more help to me, right?"

"Yeah?"

"What if I made you into an angel?"

"What? You can do that?" Katrina's voice went up a half an octave.

"Again, I am God."

"But... the original angels... they were just created, right? They weren't made from humans."

"I'm sure there will be a few differences, but you will be an angel nonetheless. My angel."

Tears started to gather in Katrina's eyes, "I don't know what to say..."

"Say yes," Castiel smiled and placed a hand on her cheek. Katrina leaned into it, closing her eyes.

"Yes, of course." She was going to be an angel. She would be powerful enough to make a difference. She would be able to help Castiel in ways she had never imagined. She grinned through her tears, "I couldn't think of anything I would rather do."

* * *

"Is it going to hurt?" Katrina asked, worried.

"I am not sure. I hope not. I will try to make it as quick as possible, but I do want to be thorough. This is not something I should do sloppily."

"I understand."

They were back in the apartment. Katrina had wanted to continue their mission in the hospital, but Castiel insisted that they do it immediately. It was likely that this transformation would be very draining, so he wanted to save as much energy as he could. Katrina was laying on her bed while Castiel sat next to her.

"Are you ready?"

"I think so." Katrina swallowed nervously, seeking Castiel's hand and lacing her fingers into his. Castiel squeezed her hand gently, and put his other hand on her forehead.

Katrina closed her eyes as she felt a warmth radiate from Castiel's hand. It was pleasant. She could feel the energy starting to spread through her body, like a warm buzzing. She sighed, relaxed. This wasn't so bad at all. The buzzing began to build, as did the warmth. But it was just a bit of heat, nothing she couldn't deal with. The buzzing turned into a crackling, and the energy from Castiel's hand started to race through her with more force. It felt like electricity coursing through her muscles and veins. Katrina started to squirm with discomfort. The warmth was becoming a sharp heat and the crackles seemed to be intensifying into sharp bursts of splintering energy.

Castiel could feel Katrina tensing beneath his hand as he continued the flow of energy into her body. In truth, he had known that this would probably be a painful experience, given that the human body wasn't equipped to deal with such high levels of power. But, before he could manifest her wings and her abilities, he had to transfer all of the required energy into her first. Once her body had reached full capacity though, he would have to be quick. Allowing such high levels of energy to reside in her for too long could have disastrous effects on her body and mind.

A small whimper broke from Katrina's throat as the pain increased. Though her eyes were closed, she was being practically blinded by a blinding golden light that seemed to be emanating from her eyelids themselves. She felt as if it were about to drive her insane. Part of her wanted to scream out and beg that Castiel stopped, that being an angel wasn't worth this torture, but she bit it back. It would be worth it. She was going to be powerful and immortal, and she was going to be a perfect servant for Castiel, one who could actually do something useful. She dug her fingers into the bedsheets and clenched her jaw, biting down on the scream that was threatening to rip from her lungs. The worst part was that there was no chance for her to adjust to the pain. It just kept increasing, faster and faster. She just wished she would black out already. Once as a kid she had broken her leg and fainted from the pain. This was thousands of times worse, so how on earth was she still conscious?

Castiel grimaced as Katrina neared her full capacity. She was in such pain that he could hear her tortured soul screaming out. Tears were pouring out of her eyes. But still, she remained silent. He was amazed by her sheer willpower. He had seen people experience far lesser ordeals with much less grace. He felt her body reach it's filling point and halted the energy flow, then quickly went to work. He started with her wings, and for accuracy's sake he manifested them in physical form. Glowing masses of sinew and bone began to sprout from her back, ripping through her clothing. Katrina gasped, shocked at the new sensations registering from a part of her body that she had never even had before. It started to become extremely uncomfortable seeing as she was laying on her back, her new appendages being crushed between her and the mattress.

"Castiel," she choked. Castiel helped her sit up, keeping his hand on her forehead as the wings grew into completion. He decided to make her wings different from any other angel. After all, she was a whole new breed of angel. Not built by his father but created by him from a human. Feathers sprung from her bare wings, rustling with a static electricity. When he was done, Katrina's feathers were an array of blue, black, and white, almost identical to that of a blue jay. They were striking and unique, just as Castiel wanted.

Katrina's pain had significantly decreased as Castiel manifested her wings, as if the energy that was threatening to rip her body open was running into them like water from a crack in an overflowing dam.

Once her wings were completed, Castiel put them into their intangible state, and laid her back down on the bed. He began working on her abilities, trying to copy exactly what all angels had. Given that he wasn't exactly sure how grace was harnessed into these specific channels of tools, he reproduced the basic components of his own grace pathways. In a mathematical sense, he was simply replicating the coding from his own angelic grace and transferring it to her. However, because she did not have the same "power source" as him, there was a chance that her faculties may manifest differently. Hopefully the difference wouldn't be too great. He felt Katrina relax as he neared the end of the process.

Katrina let out a sigh as she felt the energy ebb down into the original warmth. Once it reached this point, it levelled off and stopped decreasing. As the echoes of the pain faded away from her mind, she started to enjoy the pleasant sensation, her breathing slowing so that she was no longer gasping for air. She felt like a cup filled with the perfect amount of warm cocoa. She stretched, marvelling at the unfamiliar presence of her new appendages. It was the strangest sensation she had ever experienced. Now that they weren't in their physically manifested form she could feel their presence, but they were like ghosts- phantom limbs. She wished that she had been able to see them before Castiel had made them vanish. She sat up, a bit overwhelmed by all of the stimuli that were bombarding her. She could hear Castiel's breathing and the conversations of people in the next apartment and hundreds of things in between.

She grimaced, "How do you deal with the super-hearing? I don't know if I could ever hold a conversation like this."

"Right now, all of your sensors are stretched out to maximum capacity. Once you grow accustomed to your powers, you will learn how to extend and retract your senses at will and you will be able to block out unnecessary sounds and smells. For example, right now I am simply focused on the sounds in this room, such as your voice and your heart rate. But, every once in a while I stretch out my awareness to the rest of the building and outside to make sure that there is no danger approaching."

Katrina nodded, rubbing her temples. Then she looked up at Castiel and gasped. Something was wrong with his face. His skin seemed to be flaying, like someone had dragged his face across the pavement.

"Castiel?" she asked hesitantly, "Did something happen to your face? Or was that always there, invisible to my human sight…?"

"What?" Castiel said, confused. He procured a mirror from thin air and observed his face, frowning with worry. He stood, his face tainted with horror. As he stood, a sudden dizziness swept over him. He staggered.

Katrina rushed to his side, holding his arm in support.

"Castiel what's wrong?" she asked, beginning to panic.

"Nothing," Castiel shook his head, "It seems that the process sapped me of more strength than I expected. I have to go."

"I'll go with you!"

"No," Castiel pulled his arm from her grasp, "You stay here. You need more time to adjust to your new power."

"But Castiel…"

"Do not worry about me. I will be back soon," Castiel said, attempting a reassuring smile. It was not at all convincing. But before Katrina could protest any further, something flashed in Castiel's eyes that was very un-Castiel, making her take a step back. Castiel vanished immediately.

"Damnit…" Katrina muttered, sitting back down on the bed.

Castiel did not return for two days. Katrina spent most of her time practicing little things like controlling her awareness and turning the lights on and off with a flick of her wrist. It didn't take much more than a thought. She just concentrated on her intentions and moved her hand. It reminded her of the Sonic Screwdriver on Doctor Who; "Just point and think." She couldn't figure out how to fly however. In all honesty, Castiel's "flying" just felt like teleportation. She had no idea how to work her wings, and she didn't even know if flapping them like a bird would get her anywhere. It felt as if it would be so much easier if she could actually see her wings.

She stood in front of the bathroom mirror, shirt off, wondering if she could manifest her wings physically like Castiel had. She closed her eyes, trying to imagine what she would look like with wings. She opened one eye hesitantly. Nope. Nothing. Maybe this wasn't something she could do with her imagination. She closed her eyes again, taking a deep breath. She "stretched" her phantom wings as much as she could, focusing on the memory of how it  _felt_  to have wings, for the brief time that she had them. She could feel something changing, like the buzzing of energy collecting between her shoulderblades. She concentrated harder, remembering the feeling of her rustling feathers and the discomfort of having them crushed underneath her. Then she felt a sudden pain. She gasped, opening her eyes to see that her wings had formed and that her left one was currently pressed against one of the towel hooks. She shifted to the right, pulling her wings in around her. it was so odd, flexing muscles that had been previously nonexistent.

She was beginning to feel cramped, her wings aching to stretch out, so she squeezed out through the doorway and into the main room. She sighed with relief as she extended her wings, marvelling at their size and power. Her feathers were a beautiful blue, with speckles of black and white. She had expected them to be just plain white. This was so much better. She ran her fingers through them, smiling at how soft they were.

Suddenly, Castiel appeared in front of her. Katrina jumped in surprise.

"Castiel!" she exclaimed, "where have you been?"

"It's kind of a long story," Castiel said. His face was even worse now, the skin peeling away from his flesh. He looked away from her, his face slightly abashed.

"Oh," Katrina looked down at herself, remembering that she had no shirt on, "Sorry, I'll go get dressed."

"It's not that," Castiel shook his head, "the naked human body hardly concerns me."

"Then what is it?"

"Your wings."

"My wings? How?"

Castiel shifted uncomfortably, "It is very uncommon for angels to manifest their wings in front of each other, or anyone for that matter. They are somewhat... intimate to us." Katrina raised her eyebrows at the word "us." She had searched Castiel's name on the internet while he had been gone, and she had seen that Castiel was actually the name of an angel. She wasn't quite sure if she believed that it was the same being as  _her_  Castiel, but it seemed now that it was.

"Oh…" Katrina frowned, "That's a shame though. They're so beautiful. It almost seems like they're meant to be shown off," thinking that she would have liked to see Castiel's wings as well.

"I'm afraid not all angel wings look like yours," Castiel explained, "I decided that your wings should be unique, just as you are. No other angel is like you, therefore you should not look the same as all other angels."

Katrina smiled. Her ego quite liked that explanation to be honest.

"So what color are most angel wings then? Just white?"

"Most angels have white wings, yes. A few more powerful angels, the archangels, have golden wings."

"So what color are yours then?"

Castiel grimaced, "Mine are neither white nor gold. I have something far rarer."

"And what's that?"

"Up until a few years ago, I had white wings. But then I was assigned to raise Dean Winchester out of hell. Angels rarely venture into hell, and those that do never have to go down as deep as I did. My time in hell scorched my wings black."

"Wow," Katrina exhaled in awe, "that sounds amazing." She flushed, embarrassed, "Not that you had to go into hell that is. I mean, it's cool that you were able to go in so deep and survive but what I meant is that having black wings sounds really beautiful and I think it really suits you." The last bits came out in a bit of flustered, garbled mess. But Castiel didn't seem to mind, chuckling,

"I'm glad you think so."

"So…." Katrina asked slowly, "I don't suppose I'm allowed to see your wings then?"

Castiel shook his head, "Not today. Maybe one day."

Katrina liked the sound of that. In that sentence was the promise of days to come, and she knew that there would be many.

"What about your face? Should I heal you?"

"No," Castiel said, "It's most likely because my power has been drained from your transformation. I'm sure that they will heal of their own accord when I have regained my strength."

Something in his voice made Katrina suspect that he was hiding something. But she decided to let it slide. She was, afterall, just a servant. She was hardly entitled to knowing everything that was going on with Castiel.

"Now," Castiel continued, "If you could please put your wings back away, I think it's about time I taught you how to use them."

Katrina grinned, excited. She pushed back all of the questions she was dying to ask, knowing that there would be plenty of time for that later. They had eternity, after all.


	2. The Higher You Fly, The Harder You Fall

_Song of Inspiration: Icarus by Bastille_

_Icarus is flying too close to the sun_

_Icarus' life is only just begun_

_This is how it feels to take a fall_

_Icarus is flying towards an early grave_

* * *

"Where are we?" Katrina asked, "Did I get it right?"

"Not Lansing Michigan," Castiel said, "Actually, I don't even think we're in Michigan."

Katrina hung her head in shame, "This is harder than I expected." They had been working on this for over two weeks now. She hadn't expected it to take so long to master. Castiel seemed to do it effortlessly.

"Don't worry," Castiel said reassuringly, "It is only logical that longer distances should be harder for you. You mastered shorter distances quickly enough. This will take more time." It had turned out to be a very tricky thing, teaching something that he had always been able to do by instinct. He never had to learn how to fly, he just always knew.

"Well when it was a shorter distance, I could always picture something specific," Katrina said, frustrated, "like, 'that spot over there,' or 'outside of the bar two blocks away.' Now it's just 'Lansing Michigan!' It's just a word! I have nothing to picture!"

"Yes, yes I understand. Here, I will try something. Close your eyes."

Katrina did as she was told.

"Now, I'm going to reach out to you."

"Reach out to me? What do you mean you're right next to-"

Then she felt it, a presence brushing up against her mind. Her breath stopped. She didn't even know it was possible to  _feel_  with her mind. The presence pushed harder.

"Let me in Katrina," she heard Castiel say. Although, she wasn't even sure if she had heard it from outside or inside of her own head. "Relax."

Katrina exhaled, lowering her defenses. The presence enveloped her mind, like a warm blanket. She smiled. It was then that she could really tell it was Castiel. There was no other way to describe it except that it was pure Castiel. It was shockingly intimate. She felt as if her soul was exposed. Castiel pulled back, making a shiver run down Katrina's spine at the sudden absence.

"Alright," Castiel said, "Now remember that, and search for me."

Katrina nodded, concentrating on stretching out her awareness. It took her a while, but eventually she managed to locate Castiel. But just as she made contact with his consciousness, he slipped away from her grasp. She frowned, confused, reaching out again. This time she found him more quickly. Again, he slipped away. Now she was beginning to get frustrated. She sent out her awareness in a burst. She found Castiel once more and concentrated on keeping the contact.

"Open your eyes Katrina." Katrina did so, surprised to find that Castiel was nowhere in sight.

"Uh... Castiel?"

"Now, fly to me."

"What? But I dont even know where you are!" Katrina wondered if it was even necessary to speak out loud.

"Just as you said before, you now have something specific to fly to. So hone onto my location and fly to me."

Katrina sighed, doubting that it would work. But she did what Castiel said, concentrating on his presence, willing herself to be by his side. When she thought she was ready, she stretched her wings and flew.

When she landed, she was surrounded by orange and red rock. She did not, however, see Castiel.

"Damnit..." she sighed.

"Good job," a voice said from behind her. She spun around to see Castiel smiling at her. She grinned triumphantly.

"Where are we?"

"You don't recognize it? It's the Grand Canyon."

"Oh, I've never been..." Katrina looked around her in awe. They were at the bottom of the enormous gorge. The colors were beautiful. "It's gorgeous…"

"Yes, I think so too," Castiel nodded, "I come here often to think."

"Ahh," Katrina said, "So that's where you go."

"Most of the time, yes."

"Where were we before?"

"Somewhere in North Carolina."

"Wow," Katrina gaped, "That's all the way across the country. How did I find you so quickly? You didn't feel that far away at all."

"Because for beings such as us, such distances are trivial."

"So I could go to the moon if I wanted to?" The idea excited her. She had always wanted to see the stars without the Earth's atmosphere and light pollution obscuring her view.

"Yes, I suppose you could. But for now, we need to work on your abilities."

"Right. What's next?"

"Well you haven't quite mastered flying yet, this method is a sort of 'training wheels," He used one of Dean's terms, hoping that it was something that was common among humans and not just the Winchesters. Katrina seemed to understand. "I think it may help if you practiced widening your awareness more."

"What do you mean?" Katrina asked, "I found you from all the way across the country."

"I do not mean it in terms of distance, I mean in terms of your perception. You could feel me from across the country, yes, but you need to be able to see. Angels have the power to see anywhere that is not warded against them."

"Well that sounds handy."

"Yes, I-" Castiel stopped, his brow furrowed.

"What is it?" Katrina asked, worried.

"It's the Winchesters. They are carrying out their plan of killing me."

"What? How?"

"They have summoned Death and have him chained. They will force him to reap me."

"Death? Death is a person?"

"Yes. I need to go to them."

"What? No! Why would you do that?"

"I will release Death and leave. Don't worry. I do not plan on dying today."

Katrina nodded, biting back her protests.

"Can you fly home?"

"I think so yeah."

"Then I will see you later on. Pray to me if anything happens and I will come."

"Be safe," Katrina couldn't help the worry in her voice.

Castiel smiled and placed a hand on her shoulder, then vanished.

* * *

When Castiel released Death, he had half a mind to smite the Winchesters right on the spot. But again, he could not, hindered by the memories of their experiences together- something that the Winchesters had so carelessly tossed aside. But, he would be the bigger person. He would not stoop to their level and smite them when they could do him no real harm.

So instead, he fled, appearing in the office of a senator. He blinked past the sudden dizziness that was overcoming him as a senator's aide approached him and asked what he needed.

"I'm here to see the senator," he said as firmly as he could.

"Regarding?"

"Abuse of power."

"Excuse me?"

"I am not petty. I'm punishing a woman who causes poverty and despair in my name. I put your needs first. Don't you understand?" He asked desperately. The woman just stared at him, confused. He turned around, looking at the other staff members, "All of you. I am a better God than my father. How can I make you understand?" His vision was beginning to blur.

" _Castiel…_ " He turned around, his expression wild as he tried to find the source of the hissing voice. The men and women in the office just stared, and it looked like one of staff was calling security. Castiel looked down at himself, swaying on his feet before blacking out.

* * *

Castiel woke up feeling very disoriented. He did not often wake up, seeing as he did not sleep. He opened his eyes, and his stomach dropped. The first thing he saw was the face of a dead woman before him. He sat up, horrified to find that he was surrounded by bodies.

"No…"

He looked down at himself and saw that he was covered in blood. There was no doubt that he had done this. He stood, his legs shaky.

" _No…_ "

He had killed every single one of these people. He looked down at his own blood-covered hands in horror. Dean had been right all along. All he had wanted was to be a better god than his father and he had screwed up. He had completely and royally screwed up. Now he didn't even have control over his own body, and people were dying at his hand. The reality that had refused to accept was crashing around him like a collapsing building.

_Castiel? Where are you?_

It was Katrina. Castiel put his face in his hands. He didn't want her to see him like this. He didn't think he could bear to look at her ever again. She worshipped him, loved him, and believed in him. But he didn't deserve it one bit.

_Please Castiel, I just need to know that you're okay._

Castiel sighed. He may not deserve her love, but she deserved to know the truth.

He swallowed his pride and flew back to the apartment.

Katrina jumped up from her seat, rushing to Castiel. "What happened?"

"It's complicated…" Castiel muttered.

"There's so much blood…" Katrina murmured, looking him over, "Is it yours? Did the Winchesters do something to you?" She felt anger flare up. If they had hurt him, she would snap their spines.

"No…" Castiel said, looking down at the ground, "It is not mine."

"Did you kill them?"

"No, no, I did not kill them."

"Well then what happened?"

"It seems that something has gone wrong with me," Castiel grimaced. Upon closer inspection, Katrina could see that his skin was worse than ever. It seemed as if his body was just falling apart, disintegrating.

"What do you mean?"

"The source of my power… has started to rebel against me. I am often no longer in control."

Katrina remembered the look in Castiel's eyes when his skin had first started to tear. It had been as if someone else had taken over his body, something evil. "Is that what's happened to your skin?"

"Yes. My vessel is too weak to contain it for much longer."

"So what's going to happen?" She didn't like the way Castiel was explaining the situation. He sounded like a doctor explaining to parents why their child was going to die.

"I'm not sure. I don't think I will last much longer."

"So, you're going to die?" Katrina's voice raised an octave.

"Most likely, yes. But not only that, an evil will escape into the world."

"Isn't there anything we can do?"

"I'm afraid not," Castiel said with a sad smile.

Katrina tasted salt on her lips and realized that she had started to cry, "B-but, we've only been together for a month. We were supposed to have eternity." It had felt like so much more than just a week. Just as she had gotten used to the idea of forever with Castiel, it was all being ripped away.

"I know. I am sorry," Castiel said, his voice weak. He raised a hand to Katrina's cheek, looking into her tear filled eyes.

Suddenly, he heard a voice- a prayer.

_Hey, Castiel. Um... Maybe this is pointless. Look... I don't know if any part of you even cares, but, um, I still think you're one of us, deep down. I mean, way, way, way off the reservation, but... Look, we still have till dawn to stop this. Let us help. Please._

It was Sam.

"Castiel?" Katrina sniffed, wondering why he had grown so still.

"It's the Winchesters," he said, "They say they have a way to fix this."

"Do you trust them? What if they just want to trick you?" She wiped her eyes, trying to stop the tears.

"Well, if they are planning on killing me, I'm sure their plan would involve containing the evil inside of me. It would be better to die knowing that I would not be releasing something that could end life on this planet than to simply die helpless."

Katrina nodded, "So you'll go to them?"

"Yes. I will."

"I'll come with you," she said quickly.

"I don't think that's the best idea."

"Castiel, you can't just leave me here, not knowing."

Castiel thought about it, staring at her scrutinizingly. "I suppose you're right. You will have to remain unseen however. I don't know how the Winchesters would react to you."

Katrina let out a sigh of relief, "Okay, let's go."

"Can you make yourself invisible to humans?"

"Um, I don't know."

"Here," Castiel put a hand on her forehead and did so.

Katrina laced her fingers into Castiel's and they flew off.

* * *

Katrina watched from a few feet away as who she assumed were the Winchester brothers rushed back and forward, following Castiel' s instructions. She didn't know which one was Dean, but honestly she didn't care. She disliked them both equally. Every once in a while, Castiel would glance over at her and she would flash a weak smile of reassurance. He would return it with just a small tilt of the corner of his mouth, but he had to be discrete. There were a few times when Katrina had to jump to the side to avoid being crashed into, but the Winchesters remained ignorant of her presence. There was another man there, he was older. Katrina assumed it was their father.

After a while, she gathered that Dean was the shorter man who had bow legs and all of Castiel's attention. Castiel kept apologizing to him over and over. The older man was Bobby, and it became apparent that he was not their father, unless the Winchesters had a habit of calling their father by his first name. The taller brother was named Sam, and he was  _tall_. He towered over all of them. There was something off about him though. He seemed twitchy, and every once in a while he would stare off somewhere, like he was looking at someone. There were a few times when he would look directly at Katrina, and she was afraid that her invisibility had worn off, but he didn't say anything and eventually he would refocus on the task at hand. Half way through, Sam went off on his own somewhere, and didn't return. The other two didn't seem to notice. It seemed as if all that Dean cared about at the moment was Castiel. Katrina felt a flash of jealousy run through her. It wasn't fair that Dean could help and she couldn't. Dean was just a human after all, and he had done nothing but hurt Castiel. He didn't deserve to be the hero.

Dean finally seemed to notice that Sam was missing, but put that aside to the more important problem. She watched them lift Castiel to his feet and towards the wall where a number of symbols were drawn in blood. Bobby began chanting some weird foreign tongue, and the symbols on the wall began glowing.

Castiel said something to Dean that Katrina couldn't hear over the sound of a giant hole opening in the wall. It sucked in air like a giant vacuum, sending things flying. Everyone struggled against being pulled in as Castiel got closer. At first, Katrina was afraid that he was going to jump in, but then his body stiffened. Bright white light, like a blazing holy fire, poured out of Castiel's chest and into the gaping pit. Dean and Bobby squinted at the light, but Katrina watched with wide eyes in wonder. All of that power had been inside Castiel. Her awe was cut short however, when the flow was suddenly cut off, and Castiel collapsed to the ground.

Dean and Bobby rushed to him.

"Cas?" Dean said, panicked, rolling him over. Castiel did not stir, and he did not breath.

"Oh god…" Katrina whispered, watching from over Dean's shoulder in horror. Dean and Bobby were speaking to each other in low tones, but Katrina couldn't bring herself to listen. She went around to Castiel's head, kneeling and holding his face in her hands. She honestly couldn't care less if the Winchesters saw her now. "No…" She leaned down and put her forehead against Castiel's. "Please no…" Tears ran down her face. There had to be something she could do. She could bring him back. She had to.

Her head shot back up as Dean stood.

"Cas, you child. Why didn't you listen to me?"

Katrina wanted to scream at him. _Listen to you? You failed him! He's dead and it's all your fault!_  He was just some stupid man who thought himself a king. But she, she was an angel. And she would fix this. She closed her eyes, pressing her forehead back to Castiel's, and let the power flow through their touch. She grimaced in concentration, willing him to live.  _Please. Please come back._

She opened her eyes as she heard a gasp. Castiel's eyes were open and he was looking up at her. His wounds were completely healed.

"Cas?" Dean said kneeling back down beside him, "Hey, hey." Katrina quickly stood and backed away as they helped him sit up.

"That was unpleasant," Castiel grunted. A mix between a sob and a laugh burst from Katrina's lips. Dean and Bobby stood him up, watching him warily as he wobbled slightly on his feet.

"I'm alive…" Castiel murmured, looking back at Katrina. Katrina gave him a tearful grin. Castiel turned back, pretending that he didn't see her. Katrina wondered if the Winchesters would ever be allowed to know about her.

"Looks like," Bobby said.

"I'm astonished. Thank you. Both of you."

Dean smiled nervously. Katrina glared at him. She didn't still didn't like him. She probably liked him less now.  _She_  was the one who had saved Castiel, not him. And she didn't like the way he looked at Castiel either. She stared at him scrutinizingly, ignoring whatever Bobby was saying.

"I'll find some way to redeem myself to you," Castiel said. Katrina refocused on the conversation, bristling with anger. Why was Castiel being so apologetic? And Dean was simply brushing off his apologies as if they were nothing. If there was anyone who should apologize, it would be Dean for treating him like trash! She had half a mind to make herself visible and beat the crap out of him right there on the spot. Katrina was thrown out of her thoughts however, as Castiel suddenly pushed Dean away.

"You need to run now!" Castiel yelled, "I can't hold them back!"

"Hold who back?" Dean asked.

"They held on inside me," Castiel groaned, doubling over, "Dean… they're so strong."

"Oh no, oh please no," Katrina put her hands on her face in horror. She had saved him. This couldn't be happening.

"The Leviathan!" Castiel cried, his body contorting as he struggled against them, "Run!"

Dean sent Bobby to look for Sam, obviously intending to stay back and fight. But then Katrina saw it. The  _thing_  that wasn't Castiel.

He straightened up, smiling, "Too late."

"Cas?"

Not-Castiel grabbed Dean by his shirt and pulled him closer, "Cas, he's, well, he's gone. He's dead." An insane grin spread across its face, "We run the show now." With that, it threw Dean across the room. Next, it threw Bobby as well. Black veins crawled over its face as he looked down at them. "Now this is going to be so much fun."

Katrina watched in horror as it paced around. She wanted to do something, but for some reason she couldn't move from where she stood, rooted to the spot. But something seemed to be wrong with the evil creature. It seemed weak, and something black had started dripping down its face.

Dean, it seemed that he was just the sort of asshole who couldn't keep his mouth shut, was smart-mouthing it.

"Your vessels gunna explode," he continued.

"This is hardly something to be joking about Dean!" Katrina said angrily. But of course Dean didn't hear her. But wait. If Castiel's spell was still working, then that meant that he was still alive in there, somewhere, right?

"Castiel! Can you hear me? Please! Fight it!" She tried desperately.

The thing cocked its head to the side, telling Dean, "We'll be back… for you." Then it turned and started limping towards the door, leaving a trail of black liquid behind it. It glanced at her, making a lump of fear rise in her throat, but continued past her.

As it left, Katrina slid down to the floor, her hands in her face. She sobbed quietly, ignoring Dean and Bobby as they stood. Suddenly, Sam burst through the door.

"What happened?"

"You missed the party," Dean grunted, "Come on, let's go."

They left the room hurriedly. Katrina didn't understand how they could keep fighting. It was over. They had lost. They were just powerless humans. She stood up, sniffling. Even if she had given up, she still wanted to see what happened. She closed her eyes, reaching out her awareness to find Castiel, but all she encountered was first the Winchesters, and then a great and unfathomable evil. She shrunk away from it, terrified of its powerful darkness. All hope that Castiel was still alive had vanished. She flew to where the Winchesters were, assuming that they would be watching where the monster went as well. They did not notice as she appeared next to them. She stared in horror as she realized that they were at the edge of a water reserve. There was a sign that stated that it was public drinking water.

The monster was in the middle of the reserve. Katrina thought of the black goo that had been dripping from it. She wondered if it was planning on poisoning the entire town or something. Either way, it had to be stopped, and the Winchesters were just standing there. She started towards the water, not knowing what her plan was but just that she had to do  _something_. But then a whirlpool of sorts formed in the water and a giant burst of a twisting black substance expanded through it. She was too late.

Castiel was gone, and he had died in vain. The monsters had escaped, and she was completely, utterly, and hopelessly alone.


	3. Home Is Where the Heart Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, here's where shit gets complicated. This is now taking place after season eight. To be specific, at the end of the first episode of season nine.
> 
> DO NOT READ PAST THIS POINT IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN SEASON NINE EPISODE ONE AND YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS
> 
> I will be going off canon from here. Basically, Sam is weak but not dying and Zeke is NOT inside of him. Castiel has only run into Hael, and the Winchesters have not gone off looking for him yet. So yeah. I hope you guys will keep reading. Thank you!

Castiel kept his eyes to the ground as he walked through the bustling crowd of people. He had discovered the hard way that the most dangerous place to be was alone. As long as he kept within crowds of other humans, it was harder for him to be spotted by the angels. He let out a bitter snort. Other humans. It was hard to believe that he was now on the same level as these insignificant grains of sand when he himself had been as endless and vast as the sands of time not too long ago. Although, he should not think so bitterly of the humans. He had met quite a few very generous and kind people. But of course, he had met some who were quite the opposite. His stomach growled as he passed the warm smell of a bakery. He willed himself not to look. He had already learned that staring at the food only made everything worse.

He hated this. He hated this traitorous body that seemed to do nothing but want. It wanted food, it wanted sleep, it wanted warmth. But unfortunately these were things that he could not provide for it without money. Sleep was the one thing that he could offer his body, but comfortable sleep was hard to come by for a homeless ex-angel. Not to mention, every time he slept he was plagued by nightmares that wouldn't allow him to sleep for more than a couple of hours at a time.

Horrifying flashes of falling angels and his own grace being sucked out of him played over and over in his mind and made him wake up screaming on multiple occasions.

He just wanted to find Dean. It was the only thing he wanted as much as he wanted food. Along with the new human hungers, came the need for affection from others. He remembered the hugs that Dean had given him in the past, wishing he hadn't been so stiff and awkward about it. He understood now why Dean had done it, what had fueled the gesture. Right now he felt so alone.

"Castiel!"

Castiel stiffened, prepared to run. It was rare that he ran into anyone that he knew that didn't want to kill him these days. He kept his eyes on the ground, hoping they would think they had the wrong person, and continued walking. A hand grabbed his wrist and spun him around. Castiel grabbed his angel blade and prepared himself for a fight when he recognized the brown eyes that were staring at him in disbelief.

"Castiel…?" Katrina whispered.

Castiel slipped his blade back into his coat in relief.

"Hello Katrina."

Katrina's lower lip trembled before she yanked him into a tight hug. "I thought you were dead." Castiel leaned into the hug. "Yes. That seems to happen to me a lot." He closed his eyes, savoring the warmth of another body. He reluctantly let go when Katrina started to pull away.

"What happened?" Katrina pulled him into a side alley so that they wouldn't interrupt the flow of pedestrians.

"Many things…" Castiel said gruffly, "But is there a better place we could talk? It's not safe to discuss this here."

"Of course."

"We should go there as soon as possible. I-"

"I don't think that's going to work," A voice said from behind Castiel. He spun around. A red-haired woman smiled at him.

"Katrina, run." Castiel said, pulling out his angel blade.

"What? No way! I just found you!"

"Get out of here little girl," The angel sneered, "The grown-ups need to talk." She grabbed Castiel by his shirt and slammed him against a wall.

Castiel struggled against her, but he was powerless against the angel. Suddenly, the angel's eyes began glowing, and beacons of light burst from her mouth. Castiel's eyes widened in shock as the angel collapsed to the ground, revealing Katrina behind her with her hand raised.

"How did you do that?" He asked, rubbing his neck.

"I don't know… I just put my hand on her head and…smote her I guess… Is that not normal?"

Castiel shook his head, "No... No it's not. Angels can't smite other angels like that unless they are an archangel."

Katrina frowned, "Well… I don't know. Somehow I just knew what to do…"

Castiel felt dread creep up his spine. Something was not right here.

"You know…" Katrina murmured, "That's the first person I've killed. In all these years, I've never killed anyone."

"I'm sorry about that." Castiel was glad she hadn't killed anyone. Thinking back on all the people he had killed while possessed by the souls of purgatory, the last thing he wanted was to have left behind an avenging angel that was carrying on his work.

"It's okay," Katrina said, "I didn't think twice about it. I was saving you after all."

Castiel shifted under her intense gaze. There was a tint of the old worship in her eyes that he deserved even less now than he did before.

"Come on," Katrina said, interrupting his thoughts, "Let's get you out of here before more of them show up." She took his hand and flew them to her apartment.

Castiel looked around appreciatively. It was much nicer than the one room apartment they had been staying in before. She had nice furniture and a large TV. There was a kitchen connected to the living room that appeared to be fully stocked.

"You eat?" he asked.

"Yeah," Katrina sighed, "I know I don't have to, but I just couldn't get out of the habit. I don't eat as often since I don't get hungry, but food is just great. Besides, I can eat as much as I want now and I don't have to worry about gaining any weight. It's the dream life," she smiled.

Castiel said nothing, thinking about his own stomach, pained with hunger. But he was too ashamed to ask for food.

"You look like you could use a shower," Katrina said, "I'll get you some soap and shampoo," she gave him a once over, "And maybe a razor… and some new clothes."

Castiel hung his head, "Thank you."

"Hey," Katrina said, placing hand on his shoulder, "It's really no problem at all. The bathroom is at the end of the hall. Go ahead and get the shower started while I get the stuff."

Castiel nodded and she vanished.

He walked to the end of the hall and into the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror. He certainly was a mess. His face was scruffy and his clothes were dirty. He couldn't even imagine what he must smell like to Katrina. Turning away from the mirror, he began to peel his clothes off. He grimaced at the sight of a long cut that ran down his arm from a previous encounter with an angel. It looked as if it were starting to get infected. When he was undressed, he pulled open the opaque glass door to the shower. The controls were simple enough, and soon he was surrounded by steam as the hot water poured over him. It felt divine.

He opened one of the bottles that were on the shelf and sniffed it. It smelled delicious. The label read "Burnt Sugar." He studied it carefully, before putting a drop on his finger and tasting it.

He spluttered and spit it out in disgust. It did not taste good.

"Did you just taste my shampoo?" Came Katrina's voice from the other side of the glass.

"...No.." Castiel said awkwardly. Wondering how long she had been there, and if she could see him through the glass. He could see her outline fairly well. "... It was your body wash."

Katrina laughed, "Yeah. That's not for eating. It doesn't taste nearly as good as it smells."

"I'll say."

Katrina laughed again. "Here, I brought you your own shampoo and body wash. Unless you want to smell like cinnamon and sugar."

"Is there something wrong with smelling like cinnamon and sugar…?" Castiel asked curiously.

"Well, no," Katrina said, "But most people would definitely consider it to be a feminine scent. If that doesn't bother you then you can go ahead and use it."

"No," Castiel said, thinking of how Dean would react upon discovering that Castiel smelled like a woman, "I think I'll use what you got."

"Okay, here, open the door."

Castiel did so, hesitantly peering out and reaching for the bottles. Cold air rushed in, making him shiver. He quickly pulled back into the shower and closed the door.

"Okay, I left you some clothes on the toilet seat," Katrina said, "and there's a razor and shaving cream on the counter. The towels are hanging on the back of the door."

"Katrina?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do you shower? You seem to do a lot of human things."

"I like smelling nice," Katrina said, "Sure, I can clean myself with a thought, but I prefer smelling clean to just not being dirty. And, even though I'm an angel, I still grew up a human. It's hard to break out of old habits, and I haven't really had anyone to help me adjust to this new life..."

Castiel closed his eyes, guilt flashing through him. After he had gotten his memory back, he had gone straight to being insane, and then after that he was in purgatory, and of course after that more things just kept going wrong. He hadn't spared Katrina one thought in the last few years. He had tried so hard to forget all that he had done when he was playing God, and Katrina had suffered for it.

"I'm sorry… for leaving you alone.." Castiel said quietly.

"It's fine. I'm sure you had plenty of other things that you needed to take care of. I know you wouldn't have stayed away unless you were too busy for me. We did only know each other for a month after all."

"Still, I sincerely regret what I did."

"You are completely forgiven," Katrina said, and Castiel could hear the smile in her voice. It seemed that Katrina would always be willing to give him more than he deserved.

"I'll just let you get to it then," Katrina said, opening the bathroom door, "Make sure you don't let any of the soap into your eyes."

"Thank you."

"Not a problem." Castiel heard the door shut behind her. He popped open the shampoo she had given him, sniffing it. It didn't smell nearly as nice as hers. It was a sharp, spiced smell, but he supposed it would do. He squeezed a giant glob into his hand, unsure of exactly how much he was supposed to use. He lathered it into his hair, grimacing at the grimy feeling of his hair between his fingers. But as he continued scrubbing, he began to feel much cleaner. Next, he grabbed the body wash and squeezed it onto a sponge. He started to wash himself, relishing the sensation of the dirt coming off of his skin.

The soap stung his cut a bit, but he ignored the pain. It was important that he cleaned it. When he finally felt like he had scrubbed off enough dirt (and a few layers of skin), he turned the water off. He stared at his fingers for a moment. They had turned all wrinkled. It was odd.

He opened the shower door and quickly grabbed a towel. Wrapping it around his waist, he observed the razor and shaving cream, wondering how on earth he was supposed to use them.

Katrina was making spaghetti in the kitchen when she heard a loud "Ouch!" from the bathroom. She turned off the stove and flew into the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" She asked, concerned.

Castiel looked at her, shame faced. His face was all cut up and he had small patches of bald spots in his scruff. Katrina giggled, "Need some help?"

"Yes please. This is harder than it looks..."

Katrina touched Castiel's face and healed it, the cut on his arm healed as well, before grabbing the shaving cream. She lathered it on his face, trying to ignore the fact that he was naked aside from the towel. And wet. Castiel seemed to realize this too, shifting uncomfortably and crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Good to see you've acquired a normal response to nudity," Katrina said nonchalantly, bringing the razor up to his face..

"Yes... I don't know why, but I'm suddenly less comfortable with my body being exposed."

"Well, don't worry too much. You're totally hot." She had no idea what had caused her to say that. It was true though. She bit her lip nervously.

"Hot? I don't feel above the average temperature..."

Katrina laughed, "No. Like attractive, sexy."

"Oh..."Castiel swallowed nervously, looking down at himself.

"Yep... and you look better now that you're not all scruffy," she smiled, setting down the razor.

Castiel didn't say anything. A strange feeling was gathering in his chest, and he could feel his ears growing warm.

"Don't worry," she sighed, "I'm not hitting on you. I'm just saying."

Castiel nodded. Suddenly his stomach let out an enormous growl. Katrina laughed again.

"Go ahead and put your clothes on," she said, "Dinner is almost ready."

When Castiel emerged from the bathroom, donning jeans and a t-shirt, he could smell something that made his stomach rumble even more.

Katrina was waiting at the table for him, two plates of spaghetti in front of her. Castiel sat down and looked at her hesitantly.

"Castiel," she said impatiently, "eat. I know you're starving."

Castiel eagerly picked up a fork and started to devour his food. At first, he tried to contain himself, not wanting to look like a rabid animal, but soon he lost the ability to care. He shoved the spaghetti into his mouth, not even tasting it as it went down.

"Woah Castiel," Katrina said, "be careful. You might make yourself sick if you keep eating so fast. Drink some."

Castiel nodded vigorously, suddenly realizing how thirsty he was. He swallowed the food in his mouth and grabbed the glass of water, gulping it all down in one go. He set the glass down, panting.

"I'll go get you some more water then," Katrina said, standing. Castiel felt significantly better, so he started to eat more slowly, savoring each bite.

"This is delicious," Castiel said as she came back.

"I'm glad you like it," Katrina said, setting down his water, "Although I could probably give you cheap shitty pizza and you'd think it was the best food ever with the state you're in."

"You're probably right," Castiel agreed, taking another bite. "So, what have you been doing while I was gone?"

"I've been continuing our work mostly," she said, taking a bite of her own food. Castiel raised his eyebrows. "Don't look at me like that," Katrina sighed, "I haven't been taking down any corporations of anything. I've just been doing the healing. I go to hospitals, sometimes I help the homeless. It's all been good deeds, not acts of violence."

"That's good," Castiel said, relaxing. He took another sip of water. He tried to ignore Katrina's eyes on him as he finished his food. She wasn't even pretending not to stare, completely unfocused on her food.

"Katrina."

"Hmm?"

"I am human."

"Yeah, I can see that."

"Then why do you keep looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like I'm the most amazing thing you've ever seen. Like I'm a miracle." He grew louder, all of his frustration over being human suddenly bubbling to the surface, "I'm just a man! You are exponentially more powerful than me, yet you stare at me like I'm your king!"

Katrina just smiled, "I thought you were dead for like three years. But you're alive. It is a miracle." Castiel started to shake his head. Katrina stood and walked over to him, stooping down so that she could meet his downcast eyes. "And I don't care that you're human. I was human and you still showed me more kindness than anyone ever has. The fact that you're human now doesn't change everything that you did, all of those people that you helped. You will always be worthy of worship in my book."

"You give me much more credit than I deserve," Castiel said quietly.

Katrina straightened back up. "That's the thing Castiel. You should never let a man decide what he does and doesn't deserve, because he will almost undoubtedly always be wrong."

She held out her hand. Castiel took it, and let himself be pulled up and into a hug. When Katrina pulled away she smiled at him. Castiel smiled meekly back.

"Come on," Katrina said, pulling him to the couch and sitting down, "We've got some catching up to do. How about you fill me in on what's been happening with you?"

"I think we should save that for a day when we have more time," Castiel said, "and when I have more energy. You could tell me the specifics of what you've been doing."

"Well, like I said, I've been visiting hospitals. I developed a system over time to avoid raising suspicion. I never go to more than one hospital in a city, and I make it random. Apparently, any kind of supernatural activity, good or bad, is enough to warrant an investigation from hunters. I tried explaining to them that I wasn't doing any harm at first, but I gave up after a while. They didn't really like or believe the angel explanation. So I just made sure to avoid them completely. Hunters seem to have an obsession with fixing things even when they aren't broken."

"They do have good cause," Castiel said, "it is very rare that a stroke of good fortune occurs without some grim explanation."

"Yeah, god forbid a kid with cancer gets healed," Katrina rolled her eyes.

"Where are we now?"

"Topeka, Kansas."

"Why here?"

"Well… It's where my Dad was born... I don't know. It's kinda stupid."

"No, it's not stupid at all." Castiel completely understood. Considering how long he had spent looking for his own father, he was in no place to judge her.

"I almost went to visit my grandparents…They live nearby. But I couldn't make myself do it…"

"Have you seen your mother?"

Katrina snorted disdainfully, "God no. The last thing I need is her yelling at me for disappearing."

"Really? You aren't worried about the fact that she may be hurting because you're gone?"

"No…" Katrina pulled her feet up onto the couch, resting her chin on her knees, "I'm afraid to go to see her is because it is perfectly likely that she's doing just fine without me… and I don't think I could handle that."

Castiel nodded understandingly. He hesitantly reached out to put a hand on her back in an awkward gesture of reassurance.

"I wonder how my mom would react if she found out I was an angel," Katrina said quietly.

"You'd have to find out for yourself," Castiel shrugged. Katrina sighed, stretching her legs back out and putting her feet on the coffee table in front of the couch. "Speaking of angels," Castiel said slowly, "I think it would be best if we didn't stay here for long. It's not safe."

"What do you mean? We've already established that I can protect you. And where else could we go that's safer?"

"Well, next time we run into an angel, it will likely be a large group of them. And not even you can fight off multiple angels." Castiel leaned back further onto the couch, relaxing, "I know a safe place. It is warded against all supernatural beings, and less than a handful of people know of its existence."

"Sounds good to me," Katrina said, impressed, "When should we leave?"

"As soon as we can tomorrow, I think."

"Should I bring anything? Do they have a TV?"

"Yes, I believe they do."

"Alright then."

"Are you really okay with leaving your home so suddenly?" Castiel asked surprised.

"I wouldn't really call this place home," Katrina said, looking around, "it's just where I've been living. As long as I'm with you, that's all the home I need. So I have no problem going wherever you go."

Castiel's face grew warm and he looked down.

Katrina grimaced, "Am I being too weird? Should I tone down the sap a bit?"

"No," Castiel shook his head, "I'm just not used being told such things. It can be a bit overwhelming, but it's nice," he smiled at her. Her returning grin was dazzling, and Castiel began to feel the warm sensation in his chest again. The feeling confused him greatly.

Before he could begin to question it, however, Katrina stood.

"Okay, I'll get you a pillow and a blanket so you can sleep. Since we're leaving tomorrow I don't really see much point in getting a whole bed."

"Of course. I really appreciate it." Castiel suddenly realized just how tired he was.

"It's no problem." Katrina flew off and returned in a matter of seconds with a pillow and blanket.

When Castiel was comfortable, Katrina turned the light off.

"Goodnight Castiel."

"Goodnight."

Katrina left the living room, going to the closet in the hall and grabbing a duffel bag. She went into the bathroom and grabbed all of the soaps from the shower.

She spent about twenty minutes going around the apartment and packing things that she needed. Anything that she didn't pack, she got rid of.

When she was done, she went back into the living room to check on Castiel. He was sound asleep. Katrina smiled. He looked so peaceful.

She perched on the arm of the couch, thinking about the events of the day. She was so happy she could barely sit still. After all this time of being alone, mourning Castiel's death, he was  _alive_  and they were together again. She wondered what the place that Castiel was talking about would be like. Would they be the only ones there? Her mouth curled into an involuntary smile. Besides the obvious things like his need for food and sleep, the biggest change that Katrina noticed was the look that Castiel had given her today. It had happened twice so far, when he had been naked in the bathroom, and when they had just been talking.

In the past, Castiel had certainly looked at her with a fond affection. But it was almost the same way one would regard a pet. Today though, he had looked at her like… well, like she was a woman. He had looked thoroughly confused about it though, so she supposed it was one of the many side effects of being human that he still hadn't adjusted to yet. She had almost laughed at his face, but held it back out of better judgment. The last thing Castiel needed now was someone laughing at his struggles with being human.

But did she want these attentions? She wasn't quite sure. She had always acknowledged that Castiel was stunningly attractive, but he had always been light years away from being anywhere near attainable. He had been a God and she had been human. But now, he was simply a man, and she was an angel. She did love Castiel, but she wasn't sure if this extended to romance. Though, taking a deep breath, she did feel a glimmer of possibility of it growing into that.

Castiel stirred beside her, breaking her out of her thoughts. When she looked down at him, his face was scrunched up in pain. It took Katrina a moment, but she soon realized that he must be having a nightmare. She placed a hand on his head and reached out with her mind. She could feel his turmoil running rampant inside of him. Gently, she smoothed out his fear and eased him into a calm sleep. Castiel's face and body relaxed. Katrina resumed her position on the couch arm and readied herself for a quiet night.

* * *

When Castiel woke up, he felt more well rested than he had in weeks. He stretched, freezing momentarily, his eyes flashing open. For a moment, he couldn't remember where he was and how he had acquired a blanket and pillow. Then he heard humming from the kitchen and remembered what had happened yesterday. He smiled to himself. Katrina had found him and he would finally be seeing Dean today. It was so much more than he had hoped for in these last few days.

"Good morning Sleeping Beauty," Katrina grinned as he walked into the kitchen, "How did you sleep?"

"Surprisingly well actually...I didn't have any nightmares last night…" he murmured, amazed.

"You're welcome," Katrina smiled.

"You stopped them?"

"Yep."

"Thank you," Thank you didn't even begin to cover it. It was such a relief to go an entire night without waking up in a terrified cold sweat.

"It's no problem at all."

"You just sat there? All night?" Castiel asked.

"Well, it's not like I could go to sleep anyways," Katrina shrugged, "I watched some TV, I read a book. It was nothing, really."

"Is there anything I can do to help with breakfast?"

"Um, you can set the table. I think it's a good idea to leave the cooking to me."

Castiel agreed. "Where are the plates?"

"In the cabinet above the sink. The silverware is in the drawer to my left, and the cups are in the cabinet to the right of the plates."

Castiel got everything that she listed and set them on the table.

"Do you know how to work a toaster Castiel?"

"Not really."

"Well, it's not too complicated. You just put the bread into the slots on top and push down the lever."

"Alright. I'll give it a try."

"Great. The toaster is right over there and the bread is on top of the fridge."

Castiel did as she instructed and stood, waiting for the bread to finish. When the toast popped out, Castiel jumped in surprise. Katrina laughed loudly, causing Castiel to sulk.

"I'm sorry," Katrina giggled, "Your face was just too funny."

A small smile forced its way onto Castiel's face.

When breakfast was ready, they sat down and got to eating.

"I've been thinking…" Katrina said, taking a bite of toast, "about why I was able to smite that angel."

"Okay."

"Well…" she said slowly, "Angels can't kill other angels. But, we already knew that I wouldn't be like the others, because I was a human and you made me into an angel. I'm not the same as other angels, so I can kill them because we technically aren't the same species."

Castiel froze mid-bite. It made perfect sense of course. So… in that sense, this meant that… He swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. It seemed as if the messes he had made while playing God were endless.

"Castiel? Are you okay? You look like you've just seen a ghost."

"It's nothing," Castiel said, "I was just thinking that that made a lot of sense."

"Yeah, I thought so too. It's lucky though, because otherwise you'd be in a lot of trouble right now."

"Yes. It's very lucky," Castiel lied. A lump rose in his throat. He did not like lying to her, not after all she had done for him. But there were some things that were just better left unsaid.

"Cool," Katrina said. She stood, "Okay… Well, I'll go get my bag and I guess we can go."

Castiel waited as Katrina gathered her things, wondering what this new development would mean. They would have to be careful though. There was no telling how the Winchesters would react to this.

"Okay," Katrina said, emerging from the hallway, "Where are we headed?"

* * *

Castiel and Katrina landed in front of the door to the bunker.

"Hmm…" Katrina said, "It's underground. It looks kinda like a Hobbit Hole."

"A what?"

"Nevermind." Katrina made a mental note to show Castiel The Lord of the Rings series. "So, is there a doorbell or something? Or do we just walk in?"

"It's probably locked," Castiel said, "We can try knocking I suppose." He walked up to the metal door and rapped his knuckles against it. It didn't make a very loud sound, and now his hand hurt.

"Here," Katrina chuckled, "Let me try." She lifted her hand a banged on the door. The door rang like a gong. She took a step back and waited.

A minute or two later, they could hear the sound of locks clanking on the other side of the door. When it opened, a man with bright green eyes peered out, a gun in his hand.

"Cas?"

"Hello Dean," Castiel smiled.

Dean opened the door all the way and grabbed Castiel, hugging him tightly. Katrina's fists clenched. Once their just a bit too long of a hug was over, Katrina muttered through her teeth, "You didn't tell me that the place belonged to the Winchesters."

"Who's that?" Dean asked Castiel, giving her a suspicious once-over.

"This is my friend Katrina," Castiel said, "She brought me here."

"Angel?" Dean said, frowning.

"Yeah, what of it?" Katrina said, glaring at him. Castiel shifted uncomfortably at the tension.

"She is trustworthy Dean. Please, can we come in?"

Dean took a deep breath, tearing his gaze away from Katrina back to Castiel, "Yeah, sure. Sam will be happy to see you." His expression softened the moment he was looking at Castiel again. Katrina bit her tongue. The only thing that was keeping her from tearing Dean a new one was the fact that Castiel seemed to be so happy to see him. She didn't like it one bit.

As they walked in through the door, Katrina grabbed Castiel's hand and laced her fingers through his. Castiel held on, seeming to think nothing of it. Dean, however, glanced down at it. His expression hardened. Katrina smirked slightly as they descended the stairs into the bunker.

"Hey Sam!" Dean called, "Guess who showed up?"

"Who?" The taller Winchester emerged from another room. A smile broke out across his face, "Hey Cas! Good to see you!" He paused, "Who's your friend?" He glanced from their intertwined hands to Dean's face.

"This is Katrina," Dean said, before Castiel could say anything, "She's part of the God Squad."

Katrina didn't like the way Dean said her name, or "God Squad." She shifted closer to Castiel.

"Well it's nice to meet you," Sam smiled awkwardly. Katrina nodded in greeting. She liked Sam better than Dean… But she still didn't like either of them.

They all gathered around a large table.

"So," Dean said, "Can I get you some breakfast Cas?"

"No," Castiel replied, "Katrina already made breakfast before we came here." Katrina smiled at Dean's scowl. Castiel seemed to be completely oblivious to it however.

"Well, can I get you a beer then?"

"No thank you Dean," Castiel said, "But could you show me where my room will be?"

"Sure thing Cas," Dean said, clapping his hands together, "Follow me."

Castiel followed Dean, Katrina in tow. As they walked down a hall with many doors, a young man looked out of one of the doors.

"Castiel! You're back," he said happily.

"Yes," Castiel smiled, "Hello Kevin. How are you?"

"I'm good. Who's she?"

"My name is Katrina," Katrina said quickly. She was tired of being introduced by other people, "Angel."

"Well I'm Kevin, as you probably guessed. Prophet. Welcome to the family."

"Thank you." Katrina smiled. She liked Kevin, he seemed nice.

Dean scowled, obviously not happy at Kevin's use of the word family. They continued down the hall.

"Here we are," Dean said, pushing open one of the doors. It was a medium sized room, with a bed and a desk. Castiel stepped in. Katrina let his hand go as he went to the bed, sitting down on it. He smiled, "This is nice."

Katrina put her bag on the desk, "Yeah, I guess it's good enough."

Dean got all flustered, "You're not gunna be staying in here with him are you?"

"Well," Katrina said, rolling her eyes, "It's not as if I'll need a room of my own, seeing as I don't sleep. I'll just keep my stuff in here, and I'm sure Castiel and l can hang out in here as well."

A muscle in Dean's jaw twitched.

"What?" Katrina said, "Is that not okay with you? What is this? Some sort of camp? No girls in the boys' cabins?"

"Whatever," Dean said, waving her off, "Do what you want. I'm going to go make some coffee." He left the room. Katrina smirked, she could practically see the steam rising out of his ears.

"You should not make Dean angry on purpose Katrina," Castiel said quietly, "He is a good man."

"Really?" she fumed, "Him? From what I remember, Dean treated you like trash after you gave everything for him! He got you killed! If it weren't for me bringing you back to life, you wouldn't be here right now because of him!"

"Many years have passed since then," Castiel said sternly, "And we have forgiven each other for the many mistakes we both have made."

"Well, I don't forgive him."

"And there is nothing I can do about that. But, if you could just try to get along with him, for me." Castiel looked at her with wide sad eyes that melted her immediately.

"Ugh. Fine. I'll tone it down. But I won't like it."

Castiel smiled at her, "Thank you."

"Yeah, whatever."

* * *

The five of them sat around the table at dinner. Katrina had refused to eat the burgers that Dean had made, but was happy to see that Castiel was enjoying his dinner. She hummed to herself as she watched him eat.

Every once in a while, Castiel would glance up at her. His cheeks would turn red as he looked at the others around the table, before he went back to concentrating on his food. Dean glared at Katrina every few minutes as well. All in all, she was pretty content.

After dinner, they all sat around for a bit, discussing angels and a bunch of other things that Katrina didn't understand. She sat there silently as they spoke, feeling particularly useless. After a while, Castiel excused himself, saying that he was tired and was looking forward to sleeping in his new bed. Everyone murmured their goodnights as he left.

Katrina shifted uncomfortably as they all turned to look at her.

"So," Sam said, "Where are you from? How do you know Cas?"

Katrina frowned. She had no interest in sharing her life story with these people.

"My name is Katrina, and I am an angel. If you hurt Castiel in any way, I will end you, slowly and painfully. That is all you need to know about me."

"Okay then..." Dean said.

Katrina glared at him.

"Do I know you or something?" Dean asked, "Because you're acting like I've committed some horrible crime against you. I haven't slept with you before, have I?"

"Definitely not," Katrina snorted.

"Are you one of those virgin angels then?"

"Dean!" Sam hissed.

Katrina stood up angrily, "No, I'm not. But let's get something straight. I don't like you. The only reason I haven't killed you yet is because for some odd reason, Castiel seems to like you. But my patience only runs so far, so I'd watch where you step."

"Well you're a bit whipped, aren't you sister?"

"Dean come on," Kevin cut in, "You're being a serious jerk."

"You're right, you're right," Dean said, raising in hands in faux surrender, "I'm sorry." His tone suggested, however, that he wasn't sorry at all. Katrina glared at him one last time and stalked out of the door.

She flew to Castiel's room and grabbed her shower stuff. Then she searched the bunker for the shower room. She found it soon enough and was under the hot water in a matter of minutes. Showers always helped to calm her down, and she couldn't help relaxing as she rubbed the cinnamon scented shampoo into her hair. When she was done, she dried herself off with a snap of her fingers and put her clothes back on. She stepped out of the room, walking quietly towards Castiel' s room. She observed her surroundings, amazed by the amount of books. When she reached Castiel's room, a voice stopped her.

"Katrina? What are you doing?"

It was Sam.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm going into Castiel's room." She snapped quietly.

"Why? Won't he be asleep? Or are you just going to watch him?"

Katrina glared at him. The way he said it made her sound like some sort of creep.

"Castiel has nightmares." She said, deciding to tell him the truth, "I make them go away."

"Oh," Sam didn't seem to have expected that answer. "You really care about him... don't you?"

"He's all I have..." Katrina said quietly, scowling. She was not in the mood to be emotionally analyzed by this giant.

"Well I'm glad you found him and helped him get here safe," Sam smiled, "And don't worry about Dean. He's happy that you helped Cas too. He's just jealous because he wanted to be the hero."

"I figured." Katrina rolled her eyes, "he seems to like taking the credit a lot..."

"Really though, have we met?"

"Not officially no," Katrina sighed, "but I've been a fly on the wall once and a little birdie told me quite a bit."

"So what you're saying is that you've spied on us before and Cas told you about us?"

"I like the way I said it better." She bit her lip, looking down. No. She was not going to let herself warm up to a Winchester.

Sam chuckled, "Alright, miss mystery. Goodnight."

"Night.." Katrina muttered, quickly slipping into Castiel's room and closing the door behind her.

She crept quietly to Castiel's bed, sitting beside his sleeping figure. His face was was wearing a tortured expression, and his eyes moved rapidly under his eyelids. Katrina placed a hand on his face and closed her eyes. Castiel relaxed beneath her, his face going slack as he sighed in relief. She opened her eyes, smiling. Her hand didn't leave his face, instead she stroked it gently with her thumb, humming softly.

After sitting there for a few minutes, she leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on his temple, before relaxing and leaning against head board. She could deal with living here for a while, even with the Winchesters. Castiel was alive, and he was safe. There was nothing more she could really want.


	4. Apples and Cinnamon

When Castiel awoke, it took him a serious amount of effort to get himself out of bed. It was so comfortable that he thought he could lie in it forever. The only thing that motivated him enough to get out of bed was his rumbling stomach. Castiel shivered as his bare feet hit the cold ground. He left his room, slowly making his way down the hall towards the main room.

When he got there, Sam was sitting at the table with his laptop. The younger Winchester looked up and cocked an eyebrow,

"Morning Cas." Castiel was wondering why Sam was looking at him so peculiarly when he heard from behind him,

"Christ Cas! Would it kill you to put some pants on?"

Castiel turned to see Dean standing behind him, wearing a robe and holding a cup of coffee. He looked down at himself. He was wearing a t-shirt and boxers. He didn't really see what the problem was.

"Sorry Dean," Castiel apologized, "I didn't have any comfortable pants."

"Okay. Well, we're gunna get you some new clothes today alright?"

"Okay." He looked around the room, "Where's Katrina?"

The struggle it took for Dean to not roll his eyes was almost audible, "I dunno," he shrugged.

"Right here," Katrina said as she appeared between them.

Dean jumped back a foot in surprise, almost spilling coffee all over himself. Katrina held something out to Castiel.

"I made you breakfast," she said eagerly, "I figured that since you liked the smell of cinnamon and sugar so much, you'd probably like cinnamon rolls."

Castiel looked down at the swirled pastry. It did smell delicious. He took it from her.

"Thank you Katrina."

"No problem!" she grinned.

Dean didn't resist the urge to roll his eyes this time.

By the time Kevin came into the room, Katrina was happily watching Castiel (now wearing pants) eat his third roll, Dean looked like he was either going to implode or be sick, and Sam looked mildly amused at the entire situation.

"Hey," Kevin said, "Where'd you get the cinnamon rolls?"

"I made them," Katrina beamed.

"That's cool! Can I get one?" Katrina considered it for a moment. Kevin had been nice to her so far, even gone as far to say that she was now part of the family. Though she knew she wasn't really, it was nice to think that someone besides Castiel could want her there.

"Sure!" Katrina disappeared, then reappeared with another plate in her hand. She handed it to Kevin.

"Thanks!"

"You're welcome!"

Dean couldn't take anymore of the sharing and caring."I'm gunna get more coffee," He said, standing up, "Anyone want some?"

"Yeah I'll take some," Kevin said.

Dean made his way to the kitchen. While he was pouring his coffee, he noticed a plate with two cinnamon rolls. Katrina must have made them in here.

"Damn angels…" he muttered, "using my kitchen…"

They did smell good though.

He glanced around hesitantly and sidled over to the plate, reaching out to grab one.

He was stopped by an unexpected slap on his wrist. Dean jumped back in surprise as Katrina glared at him. He was really starting to hate her habit of popping up like that.

"Hands off, pretty boy," she said, "those are not for you."

"You gave one to Kevin!" Dean protested.

"You're right!" Katrina said, crossing her arms, "But you wanna know why? I'll let you in on a little secret..." She leaned in closer, her voice dropping to a whisper, "He asked."

Dean rolled his eyes and turned back to the coffee pot, "Fine. Whatever." He poured Kevin a cup of coffee as well. When he turned back around, Katrina and the plate were gone.

He returned to the main room, grumbling under his breath. Katrina was sitting now, leaned back leisurely with her feet on the table, eating a cinnamon roll.

"Hey," Dean said, "feet off the table!"

Katrina made a face, but obliged.

"And why are you eating?" Dean added, "You're a freaking angel."

"Because these are delicious and I know you wanted one," Katrina smirked.

"Besides," Sam cut in, "Gabriel used to eat candy all the time, remember? It's nothing unusual."

"Well you got one thing right, she definitely reminds me of Gabriel," Dean snorted. The archangel had been a huge dick. "You wouldn't happen to actually be Gabriel in disguise would you?"

"Who?" Katrina asked, confused.

Apparently this was not the right thing to say. Castiel's eyes widened with concern, giving her a look that told her that as an angel she should have known that, and the Winchesters were probably going to be suspicious about it. Although, she didn't necessarily know why she had to hide that she wasn't a regular angel from them. It wasn't like she was a monster.

"What do you mean who?" Dean asked incredulously, "Gabriel, as in your brother, the archangel?"

"Brother?" she scoffed.

Both Sam and Dean looked very alarmed.

"Katrina is a relatively young angel," Castiel jumped in, "at least, young in our terms. She was kept outside of the main circle of angels, and she never served as a soldier. Most angels would probably consider her more of a distant cousin than a brother or sister." Katrina looked at him searchingly. She was surprised at his ability to come up with a lie so quickly.

"So all of the angels weren't just made at the same time?" Sam asked.

"No, they were not."

Sam seemed to accept the explanation, and Dean didn't seem to want to continue the discussion, so they left it at that. Dean muttered something about going to the firing range and walked off. Sam and Kevin exchanged knowing glances.

"Castiel," Katrina said, "can I talk to you for a second? Alone?"

Castiel nodded and stood. They found an empty room and Katrina closed the door behind them.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"Yes you do. Why are we hiding what I am?"

Castiel shifted under her gaze, looking down.

"Castiel, answer me. Is there something wrong with me?"

"No, of course not. It's just that the Winchesters might not take it so well."

Castiel was lying, Katrina could tell.

"Might not take what well? Are you ashamed of me or something?"

"No! I'm not. I swear." Another lie. Her chest got tight. He would probably hide the truth forever if he could manage it. She would have to hide her identity like some sort of criminal. Though she was sure that Castiel had a good enough reason to hide her true nature, it wasn't good enough for her.

"I know you're lying to me," she said quietly, "I'll respect your privacy by not forcing the truth out of you, but just so that you're aware, I am not going to hide what I am anymore. I won't come out and tell the truth, but I'm not going to spend however many weeks or months we're here hiding in the shadows. I'm not a monster, I don't deserve this."

Castiel nodded, his mouth dry. Katrina's face softened. Castiel seemed to really care about whether she and the Winchesters got along. Though she couldn't care less, she didn't want Castiel to be upset. And Castiel had always cared about her as well. "I'm sorry for whatever trouble I may cause you. I'll try to be careful to not get on their bad side."

"I'm afraid it's much easier to get on their bad side than it should be…"

"Well, I saved you. So that has to count for something right?"

"Yes...Thank you again for that."

"No problem," she smiled warmly, "You know I'd do anything for you." And it was true. There wasn't a single person who meant more to her than Castiel.

Castiel flushed a bit. Even though she was angry with him, she still had nothing but kind words for him. He felt the unfamiliar warmth creep into his chest again. "I wish there were a better way to express my gratitude than two insignificant words."

"Yeah..." Katrina sighed, "It's hard to give 'thank you' meaning when you'd say the same to someone who has passed you the salt at dinner." She stopped for a moment, thinking. Castiel was giving her the look again. They were alone now, so maybe it would be a good time to test her theory on Castiel's new human looked anxious, his tongue darting out over his lip— a nervous habit. Her gaze flickered down to Castiel's mouth. She took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for what she was about to do. "There is one way that humans express things that words can't though..."  
"What's that…?" Castiel said nervously as Katrina got closer. His breath caught as she hooked a finger into his shirt collar. Katrina pulled his face down so that his forehead was against hers, hesitating so that he would have every opportunity to pull away if he wanted to. He didn't. He just stared at her with wide eyes, his breath shallow and heart rate increased. Katrina smiled, closing her eyes and brushing her lips softly against his.

Castiel's heart jumped into his throat. The simple touch sent a bolt of electricity down his spine. He felt himself leaning into it involuntarily, pressing his lips against hers as his eyes fluttered closed. She smelled and tasted like cinnamon, and it was intoxicating. Suddenly Katrina pulled away, causing Castiel's to flash open in surprise. Her eyes twinkled mischievously. Then, she flew away.

Castiel stood there in shock, his mouth hanging open. Katrina had kissed him… and then she had left. She had left him with this confusing feeling and no answers. Why had she kissed him? Did it affect her the same way it had him? He assumed not, considering the fact that she had pulled away, and then flew away. He brought a hand up to his lips in awe. It had been such an innocent, chaste kiss, so much less passionate than the kiss he had shared with the demon Meg so long ago. Yet, it had made his heart thud in his ears and his knees weak. He assumed it was all a part of being human.

He didn't know how he felt about this. He supposed he would be happy if he wasn't so confused, if Katrina hadn't up and left without warning. Now he was alone in this room, utterly dumbstruck and bewildered and certainly not happy.

So many questions whirled around in his head. What did it mean? Did Katrina love him? Or was she just sexually attracted to him? Or maybe it was neither and this was exactly what she wanted, for Castiel to be completely confused and disorientated. He would get answers from her. He was not going to let this slide.

* * *

Sam knew he shouldn't be trying to listen in on Castiel and Katrina, but his curiosity had gotten the better of him. Not to mention, there just happened to be a door between the room they had walked into and the next. He couldn't hear much of what they were saying as he pressed his ear to the door.

"Is there something wrong with me?"

Sam accidentally kicked something on the floor. It skidded across the ground. He cursed silently, preparing himself to run. But they didn't seem to notice, so he resumed his position against the door.

"I'm not a monster, I don't deserve this." What on earth were they talking about? He couldn't hear anything else that they said, the murmurs just too low for him to comprehend. Then their voices stopped completely. Sam tensed, wondering what was happening. It was silent for another two minutes before he heard footsteps. The door in the other room opened and closed. Sam sighed, straightening up and turning away from the door.

He stopped in his tracks, however, when he came face to face with Katrina. Her arms were crossed.

"Uh…" Sam said, scrambling for an explanation.

"Nobody likes an eavesdropper Sam."

"I just-"

"Or a liar for that matter."

Sam bit his lip, "Sorry. I didn't really hear anything though… It just sounded like you two were fighting."

"Well don't worry about it. It's none of your business."

"You sure you don't wanna talk about it?"

"Wow, you are nosy, aren't you?"

"Not necessarily," Sam said, "I just thought you might want to vent to someone. I know that talking about stuff helps me a lot."

"Oh. So you're one of those people."

"What people?"

"The kind who like to talk about their feelings and shit."

Sam chuckled, "You sound just like Dean."

"Yeah you're really not doing a good job of getting on my good side Winchester."

"Sorry, it's just that my brother doesn't really like facing his feelings either."

"Hey, I never said I didn't face my feelings. I just don't necessarily feel the need to spill my guts to people I've just met. Especially a Winchester."

"Ouch! Again with the Winchester hate," Sam said in mock offense, "You have some deep seated emotional trauma that we trigger or something?" He smirked, "Or maybe you're just upset because Castiel wanted to come see us, that you're not enough for him."

Katrina bristled with anger. She was more than enough for Castiel. He didn't want the Winchesters, he just wanted the safety of the bunker. "Hey! I don't need you psychoanalyzing me. I am completely aware of the things that make me dislike you. I don't need some Winchester wanna-be therapist telling me what I could easily tell myself. I did major in psychology after all."

Sam quirked an eyebrow, "Major? You went to college?"

Shit. She hadn't meant to slip something like that.

"Well, I had to find something to do with my spare time," she lied quickly, "seeing as I don't sleep and I've never been involved in any of heaven's wars. Besides healing people in hospitals, that is. A hobby, if you will." Phew, good catch.

"You heal people?" Sam asked incredulously. Katrina was almost offended.

"No need to sound so surprised. I'm not that much of a jerk, am I?"

"It's not that. It's just that most angels that we've encountered have always had some sort of personal agenda. They never seemed to be doing good just for the sake of doing good." Sam seemed genuinely surprised, but happily so.

"Well I guess there's a bad apple in every bunch."

"I'd hardly call it bad." Sam gave her a small smile. Katrina could feel her determination to dislike him wavering. She quickly pulled out the sarcastic asshole card.

"Oh my," she said dramatically, "that was nearly a compliment! I think I feel faint!"

Sam let out a short laugh, "You apparently have a knack for ruining moments too."

"As if I'd want to have any sort of moment with you Winchester," She snapped half-heartedly.

Sam rolled his eyes, then grinned, "I like these talks. I always manage to squeeze a little more information out of you, as hard as you try to remain aloof."

"I don't know what you mean by always," Katrina scoffed, "this is only the second time it's happened. But you're right, I definitely do end up telling you more than I intend to. Which is irritating." Sam just seemed to be one of those people that you couldn't help but open up to. She didn't like it.

"Well, it's still technically worked one-hundred percent of the time."

"Why even bother? Why would you even want to know anything about me?" Katrina tried to mask her genuine curiosity with an irritated tone.

Sam shrugged, "I dunno. You're just interesting, like a puzzle."

"So you think you're gunna be able to solve me?"

"Well, I'm gunna try. Especially if you keep flirting with me," he winked.

"What?" Katrina flushed, "I'm not flirting with you!"

"Whatever you say Mystery Girl," Sam laughed, opening the door.

"Hey! You can't just say something like that and walk out of here!"

Sam didn't answer and she stalked out angrily behind him.

* * *

Castiel had managed to wander into the firing range, where he found Dean shooting at a target, his face screwed up in concentration. Dean didn't notice him enter, and kept firing. The sound hurt Castiel's ears, so he covered them with his hands, grimacing. He stood there, watching as Dean fired shot after shot. Castiel didn't understand why Dean was shooting it over and over. It was obvious that his aim was perfect, the bullet piercing through the dummy's head or heart everytime. And if the dummy were an adversary, it would undoubtedly be dead by now. When Dean had finally used up all of his bullets, he set the gun down and took off his ear protectors. Castiel lowered his hands from his ears.

"Dean?"

Dean started in surprise, "Dammit Cas! I already got an angel in this bunker, I don't need you poppin' out of nowhere too."

"I'm sorry," Castiel bit his lip, looking slightly hurt, "you looked preoccupied. I didn't want to interrupt."

"It's fine," Dean ran his fingers through his hair, "speaking of angels, where's your feathered friend? She usually follows you around like a duckling. Except more annoying."

"I don't know," Castiel rubbed his neck, remembering the kiss, "she flew off somewhere."

"Well that's good, now you can go to the bathroom by yourself."

Castiel flushed red, "Don't be ridiculous, she's never followed me into the bathroom."

"I'm joking Cas," Dean chuckled, "loosen up."

"Right, sorry. I still haven't quite gotten a hang of jokes."

"Yeah we'll need to work on that."

A silence fell over them as they looked at each other. Dean's smile faded. It occurred to Castiel that they had found themselves like this before, but he had never realized just how awkward it was. He swallowed nervously as Dean's eyes flickered downward. His heart jumped in alarm. He hadn't realized the connotations before, but Dean always had a habit of staring at Castiel's lips. Katrina had looked at his lips just before she had kissed him. Did that mean that Dean wanted to kiss him? He didn't think he could handle another kiss right now, not when the first one already had his mind all tangled up in knots. He took a shaky step back.

"Uh… I'll just let you get back to your shooting then," he stuttered.

"Huh? Uh, okay," Dean seemed confused.

Castiel ducked out, his heart pounding. It seemed as if today was the day for awkward and confusing moments. His head started to hurt from all that was going through his mind. Had dean wanted to kiss him? Did he want Dean to kiss him? Did he want Katrina to kiss him? Would it be appropriate to ask? This would all be so much simpler if they could all just communicate exactly what they were feeling, instead of dancing around societal norms and notions of personal boundaries.

He made his way back to the main room, where he found Katrina looking flustered and angry, and Sam who seemed very amused. Katrina expression changed immediately as she saw that Castiel had entered, giving him a nervous smile. Castiel looked down. He would confront her, but he needed some time to think first. He would need a clear head if he could even consider discussing what on earth had just happened between them.

Katrina frowned as Castiel looked away from her. Maybe she had been wrong about Castiel. She bit her lip nervously. She really hoped that she hadn't crossed some huge boundary that had made him so uncomfortable that he was going to start pushing her away. Maybe he was upset with her for leaving afterwards. But she had done it for more than one reason. For one, she had heard Sam eavesdropping from the other room. And then there was a more relevant reason. When she had kissed Castiel, he had almost immediately responded, kissing her back. But he was fueled by instinct. It wouldn't mean anything if they just continued on Castiel's impulses. If they had, it would have been just the same as if Castiel were kissing a stranger. She needed Castiel to think about it. She needed him to cool off so that he would know whether or not he wanted her, or just human contact in general. She was scared, of course, that it mind end up being the latter. It was perfectly possible that he had no interest in her romantically, and that they would probably never have another moment like that again. She might regret pulling away later when he rejected her. Although, if Castiel was only looking for an outlet for his newfound desires, and was willing to treat her as such, she didn't think she would mind too much. Just as long as she knew which it was.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Dean walking in.

"Hey, Cas. I almost forgot. I said we would get you some clothes this morning."

Katrina looked up, "Why? I can just get them for him."

"No way," Dean shook his head, "I'm not having you use angel mojo to steal Cas some clothes."

"Well how are you gunna get him clothes?" Katrina asked, irritated, "Do you have a job?"

"Actually, he runs credit card scams," Sam interjected. Dean glared at him.

"Really? Fake credit cards? And that's so much better than my plan?"

"Yeah well," Dean muttered, "I'm not having Cas walk around in some clothes that a woman got for him. Who knows what you might get?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Katrina said loudly, "You saying women don't have a sense of style?"

"I'm saying that men don't necessarily want to wear what women might want them to wear. Not to mention, you're an angel, what do you know about clothes besides that they keep you from being naked?"

Katrina bit her tongue, resisting the urge to tell him just how much she did know, considering the fact that she had been human for twenty five years of her life. "So…" she cocked her head, smirking, "What you're saying is, you don't want Castiel to wear clothing that women will like on him? I wonder why that is…"

Dean and Castiel both turned beet red, and she had to resist the urge to laugh at the both of them.

"Whatever feathers," Dean snapped, "We're doing it my way."

"Fine, fine," Katrina surrendered, "Do what you want. Just try to get him at least a few things that are nicer than jeans and classic rock band T-shirts."

"Don't hold your breath," Dean said, "Come on Cas."

Castiel followed him out of the room.

"Okay," Katrina sighed, "Where's the TV?"

"You watch TV?" Sam said.

"Do you really have to act like everything I say is a huge surprise?" Katrina rolled her eyes.

"Sorry, you're just different from any angel I've ever met."

"You have no idea…" Katrina muttered under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, just tell me where the TV is."

* * *

Dean looked over at Castiel in the passenger's side seat. He was staring off into space, fiddling with his lower lip.

"Cas, quit touchin' your lips," he said, "they're already chapped enough."

Castiel snapped out of his reverie, "Really?" He licked his lips curiously, "Is that a bad thing?"

"Yeah, kinda. And if you're not careful they can get so dry that they'll crack and start bleeding."

Castiel's face fell.

"Hey now, don't look so down. We'll get you some chapstick when we get to the store too. It'll help."  
"Thank you Dean."

"Why are you worried about it anyways?" Dean asked, "You're not planning on kissing anybody anytime soon are you?"

"I don't know…" Castiel mumbled, "I still don't quite know how I feel about that yet."

"Come on man, you gotta have some fun! Live a little! Get drunk, get laid! You're human now, you gotta do some human things."

"I'll try to keep that in mind."

"We could go to a strip club if you want."

Castiel shook his head vigorously. "Now that I'm sure I don't want."

"Whatever you say man."

* * *

Castiel held a grey button up shirt in his hands, studying it. It reminded him of the shirt he had worn with his old suit. He missed all the layers from his old outfit, including the trenchcoat. Lately, he felt naked with only one layer of fabric between him and the world, especially now that the world was such a dangerous place for him. He looked up at the mannequin next to the rack, which sported the shirt as well as a black vest. He looked back to the other racks around it and found a vest just like it. He picked out one that looked like it would fit and threw it in the cart that was filled with clothes. Dean had wandered off to find Castiel some shoes, after they had determined his size.

Castiel felt that he had enough clothes to choose from, so he took the cart over to the door marked, "Fitting Rooms." He tried on one of the T-shirts that Dean had picked out for him. It had the letters "ACDC" printed on the front. He didn't know what they meant, but the shirt was comfortable enough. He assumed that the rest of the T-shirts would fit as well, considering that they were all the same size. He grabbed a pair of pants next. This part was harder. The first pair that he tried were far too big, pooling down on the ground around his feet. The next were uncomfortably tight. When he finally found a pair that fit him comfortably, he was sick and tired of trying things on. He looked at the tag, wondering what the numbers meant.

He looked through the remaining pairs, picking out the ones whose numbers were the same. He settled for three of them and a pair of sweatpants that Dean had picked out him. He decided to try on the grey shirt and vest last, and while he was doing up the last button, there was a knock on the door.

"Cas? You in there?"

"Yeah."

"Okay open the door I brought you shoes."

Castiel opened the door and stepped out of the fitting room. Dean's eyes widened at the sight of his outfit.

"Why'd you get that?"

"I liked it... does it look bad?" Castiel asked self-consciously. He thought it looked good, but then again he wasn't really as expert on such things.

"No, no," Dean said quickly, "you look, uh, you look fine."

Castiel nodded, "I like it."

"Alright then we can get it. Here," he handed Castiel a few shoe boxes.

When Castiel was done, he had a pair of boots, sneakers, and dress shoes. He tried a few times to say that he had gotten too much and that perhaps he should put some back, but Dean insisted that it was all fine. Especially since this technically wasn't costing him any money. As they made their way to the checkout, Dean stopped suddenly. He turned and pulled a blue and grey plaid flannel shirt off the rack and handed it to Castiel.

"Here, try this on over your shirt."

Castiel obliged, and it fit fine.

"It looks good." Dean concluded.

"Dean don't you think I have enough shirts?"

"Yeah but you don't have any plaid. You're a Winchester now. And Winchesters wear plaid."

Castiel's heart swelled in his chest, a smile creeping onto his face. "Thank you Dean," he said quietly.

Dean smiled back at him, "Don't mention it."

* * *

Castiel looked at the array of chapsticks hanging before him. They had gone to a local drug store, where Dean was getting toilet paper and a few other things that bunker was running low on. He had directed Castiel to the chapstick, and told him to meet him at the counter. Castiel hadn't expected there to be so many flavors. He didn't even know what some of them were. Trying to find something that sounded familiar, he ended up holding a vanilla flavored one.

He remembered a woman who had been kind enough to buy him an ice cream from a parlor that he had stopped to rest next to. He had been hesitant at first, not knowing what the white lump of creamy mush might taste like. But food was food, so he gratefully took it and took a hesitant lick. It had been good, the flavor surprisingly strong compared to its bland appearance. He had devoured the rest quickly, ignoring the pain that had developed in his head.

He wished he could open the chapstick and see if it really tasted like that ice cream, but it was encased in some impenetrable plastic wrapping. He shrugged and walked towards the end of the aisle, looking for Dean, ignoring his instruction to go straight to checkout. He found him looking at coffee.

"Hey Cas," Dean didn't take his eyes away from the shelf, "you found what you want?"

"Yes, is there anything I can help with?"

"Yeah, I need some shampoo. Can you go get some?"

"What kind?"

Dean shrugged, "Whatever, doesn't matter to me."

"Alright."

Castiel made his way around the aisles until he found one that was stacked even higher with choices than the chapstick section had. He picked a random one off of the shelf, noting that the label said "for men." He opened the top, sniffing it hesitantly. The smell was overpowering, and it burnt his nose. He shoved it back away onto the shelf haphazardly, his nose wrinkled in disgust. If that was what men were supposed to smell like, he didn't think he would mind smelling like a woman. Even it was for Dean and not himself, he still didn't want to get it. He didn't think he would be able to be around Dean for long if he smelled like that.

He searched more carefully now, finding a group of bottles that seemed relatively gender neutral. They had an assortment of smells, but they were significantly more recognisable than the other scents. They were all simple things, like watermelon and coconut. He wondered which one Dean would like. His eyes fell on the green apple. Dean liked apple pie, so maybe he would like this as well. He picked it up, opening it and smelling it. This one smelled much nicer, and Castiel felt it would suit Dean very well.

He went to the front of the store this time and found Dean waiting in line with a basket.

"Green apple?" Dean asked disbelieving, "Really?"

"I liked the way it smelled and I thought it would suit you," Castiel stuttered, "but I can go get you something better if you want..."

"No," Dean said, "it's fine. At least it's not something ridiculously girly like lilacs. It doesn't really matter. Shampoo is shampoo. I ain't picky like Sam, with that lion's mane to take care of."

Castiel nodded. He still didn't understand how smells could be categorized into gender specific groups. What was womanly about cinnamon and sugar? And what was manly about "glacier blue?" Whatever the hell that smell was even supposed to be. Why wasn't it acceptable for Dean to smell like apples or watermelon? They were both delicious things. Were men not supposed to smell nice?

He continued to ponder this as Dean paid for the items, and as they went back to the car.

"You know," Dean chuckled, "even as a human, you still got the same thinkin' face."

"Do I?"

"Yeah, you look constipated as hell."

Castiel flushed.

Dean just laughed.

* * *

When they returned, they found Katrina watching TV, but Sam was nowhere in sight.

"Where's Sam?" Dean asked.

"What do I look like? A babysitter?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Sam?" he called.

Sam emerged from one of the side rooms, phone in hand.

"I just got off of the phone with Garth," he said, "apparently there's some huge fluxes in demon activity and angels just fifty miles west of here."

Castiel nodded, "They are probably fighting."

"Should we go check it out?" Dean asked.

"Yeah I think so," Sam said, "who knows where they'll pick to have their little battle? I highly doubt they'll be concerned with keeping humans out of the line of fire."

"But what are we gunna do?" Katrina interjected, "go in there and tell them to play nice?"

"No," Dean scowled, "We're gunna go in there, gank a few sons of bitches, and keep it contained so that innocent people don't get hurt."

"But which side are we going to help out?"

"Neither," Dean said, the corner of his mouth rising up a bit, "anything supernatural gets in our way, we kill it."

"Works for me," Katrina shrugged.

"You're okay with killing angels?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I swear to God I am going to start calling you the Spanish Inquisition," Katrina rolled her eyes, "Yes. I'm okay with it. Right after I found Castiel, an angel tried to kill him. If the rest are the same as that bitch, I have no problem at all."

Dean looked at her contemplatively for a moment before shrugging, "Works for me. Let's get packed up and I guess we can head out. It shouldn't take us too long to get there."

"Uh… why don't I just fly us? It'd be much faster." Katrina said.

"Dean doesn't like flying," Castiel said.

"Well then maybe I could go ahead and see what I can do before you get there?"

"No way," Dean shook his head, "For all we know, you could just be warning them that we're coming."

"Why would I do that?"

"I don't know. But you are an angel after all. I don't know you well enough to trust you, so I'm keeping you where I can see you."

"What? You think you can keep me on a leash?" Katrina bristled angrily, "I could kill you in less than a second Winchester, you are in no place to be ordering me around."

"I'm sure you could," Dean said, "But you won't."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that."

"I am though. Because if you kill me, it'll upset Cas," he smiled, "and you wouldn't want your precious master to be upset with you, would you?"

Katrina took an angry step forward, ready to punch him so hard he'd shit his teeth.

"Katrina, please," Castiel said quietly and, as much as she hated to prove Dean right, Katrina relaxed her clenched fists.

"I won't kill him…" Katrina muttered, "I'll just severely maim him. I'll heal him back and everything."

"As much as I would love to see that," Sam said impatiently, "we don't have time for this. We need to go. Katrina, just let him drive so that he can feel in control," Dean started to open his mouth in protest, but Sam held up a finger to shut him up, "It won't be too bad. Besides, the demons are probably still finding hosts, and then after that they'll have to assemble and formulate their plans. So, we probably won't miss anything."

"Fine," Katrina spat.

The Winchesters started gathering their things.

"Really Sam? You'd love to see that?" Dean said angrily as he shoved a few bottles of holy water into his bag.

"Well," Sam smirked, "Maybe if you weren't such a dick, everyone wouldn't want to see you get your ass kicked."

Dean scowled, but his face softened after a moment.

"Make sure you're careful Sammy," he said in a serious tone, "You're still recovering from the trials. Don't bite off more than you can chew. If you need my help, you tell me."

"Really Dean," Sam sighed, "I'm fine."

"Yeah whatever, just be careful. Stick with Katrina and Cas if you have to."

"I'm a grown man Dean, and a hunter. I don't need to hide behind an angel," Sam said, aggravated.

"We're not discussing this Sam. Take it easy out there. End of story." Dean slung his bag over his shoulder.

"Dean," Castiel said, walking alongside him towards the garage.

"Yeah Cas?"

"I think we should be more cautious with the angels," Castiel frowned, "There are some who are trying to kill me, yes, but there are also some who need guidance. We should give them the chance to make the right choice before we just kill them."

"I'll try my best Cas," Dean said, "But it's pretty dangerous. I'm sure that there are angels that would gladly take advantage of how trusting you can be. We can't be sure that they're telling the truth."

"They're my brothers and sisters Dean," Castiel said sternly, "I will always give them a chance. They are lost, just as I am."

"You're not lost. You're right where you belong. With us." Dean clapped a hand on Castiel's shoulder reassuringly.

"Yes," Castiel nodded, "And I can do nothing but feel bad for my brothers and sisters who are not so lucky."

They made their way to the car, Dean and Sam in their usual spots up front; Castiel and Katrina in the back. Dean turned up the radio and pulled out of the garage.

"I still do not understand your taste in music," Castiel said, "It's so loud and overwhelming."

"Really?" Katrina said disbelievingly, "It's AC/DC man! You can't not love them."

"Yeah, for once feathers actually got something right," Dean agreed.

"As good as they are," Sam cut in, "I'd say they lose their appeal after listening to it for hours on end."

"We'll see," Katrina settled back, curling her legs up against her. She looked up into the rear view mirror and saw Dean staring at her from it scrutinizingly. As soon as they made eye contact however, he looked away.

Still wishing she could just fly them, Katrina sighed and prepared herself for a painfully long car ride.

* * *

**Note:  Yeah I know there wasn't much in terms of plot but I wanted to dedicate a chapter to Katrina and Cas adjusting a bit to life in the bunker. Wooooo tension and all that shit! There will definitely be more plot development in the next chapter. Maybe we'll even figure out what Cas has been hiding from Katrina _**

**Also yes I have a headcanon that Dean smells like green apples mmm yes**

**Okay I'll stop now, thanks again!**


	5. Abomination

Dean turned down the radio as his phone rang. He answered it.

"Dude what the hell?" It was Kevin.

"What?"

"Where did you guys go? I came out of the shower and all of you were gone!"

"Oh yeah, sorry. We got a job close by. We'll be back soon enough."

"When am I gunna be able to start coming on these trips, instead of being left home alone like a little kid?"

"Well we still need you working on that tablet, and you're still pretty new to the battlefield. I don't wanna take you out there 'till I know you can hold your own."

"I spent an entire year without you Dean, I can hold my own."

"You spent a year hiding, not fighting."

"You let Sam go, and Castiel! All you ever do is worry about how weak Sam is!"

"Yeah well we've got the God Squad here with us to watch their backs. I wouldn't take the risk of adding another person to the list."

"Now you're just making up excuses. You know you're not going to let Castiel out of your sight."

"Whatever Kevin. It's too late now, we're already halfway there. Maybe next time."

"Fine. I'll see you later then I guess."

"Yep, see ya."

Katrina listened to their conversation, perplexed when Kevin said that Sam was weak. The man was huge, and not at all lacking in muscle. So how was he weak? Castiel and Sam remained blissfully unaware of Kevin's half of the conversation.

"Is it safe to leave him alone with Crowley?" Castiel asked.

"Yeah, we already talked to Kevin about not killing him and he's agreed to stay away from him."

"It's not Crowley that I was worried about," Castiel muttered.

"Don't worry," Sam said, "there is no way he could possibly get out of there. He's on heavier lockdown than people in Guantanamo Bay."

Castiel didn't bother bringing up that he had no idea what that was. Dean turned the music back up and resumed beating out the rhythm on the steering wheel.

Katrina leaned over and murmured in Castiel's ear, "Who's Crowley?" She wasn't sure if this was another thing that the Winchesters would expect her to know.

"The King of Hell," Castiel replied quietly, "Or at least, he was the king of hell. The Winchesters captured him a while ago, and it seems as if another demon has taken over in his absence."

"And they're keeping him in the bunker? Isn't that dangerous?"

"That's what I was worried about, yes."

Katrina frowned, concerned. If this demon escaped, he could hurt Castiel if Katrina wasn't around to stop him. She would have to investigate it herself when they returned.

When they reached their destination, Katrina eagerly flitted out of the car. She stretched her arms up to the sky, smiling as she unfurled her phantom wings out. She had always hated being cooped up in small spaces, even when she was human.

Castiel climbed out of the car, watching Katrina enviously. He missed being able to go place to place with a thought. He could see that she was stretching her wings. He couldn't see them, but her body posture made it clear to him. He had once relished the feeling of spreading his wings to the open sky as well. Now he was like a bird with its wings clipped.

"Alright," Dean said, interrupting Castiel's thoughts, "here's what we're gunna do. We'll split up and sweep the parameter for demons and angels."

"Dude, we're in the middle of a town. There's people around. How do you intend to tell the difference between them and humans?" Katrina asked.

"Well, I don't know about you, but our faces are pretty widely recognized. It'll be pretty easy to draw them out."

"So you're using yourself as bait? Castiel too?"

"Yep."

"That's a terrible idea." Katrina said, angry at how nonchalant Dean was being about risking their lives. There was no way she was going to let them use Castiel as bait, "Why don't I just look myself? I can sense them and their location from here. That way, no one is in danger."

"Nope. Not gunna happen."

Katrina felt the fury bubble up inside her."Why are you so damn stubborn?"

"Because trust is something you have to earn, and you haven't earned it yet."

"That's ridiculous!" There was a difference between not trusting someone yet and always expecting them to turn around and kill them.

"Dean. Katrina. Please," Castiel interrupted, "we need to get moving." It seemed as if he would always have to keep them from ripping out each other's throats.

"Cas, you're with me. Sam, you stick with the Halo Patrol."

"But-" Katrina protested.

"No buts" Dean said, holding up a hand, "If it turns out that you're trying to screw us over, I trust Sam more to gank your ass than Cas."

"I'd like to see him try…" Katrina huffed.

"We've killed plenty of angels in our day Katrina," Sam said, "I wouldn't be too cocky."

Katrina just rolled her eyes and stalked off.

"Keep an eye on her," Dean said firmly. Sam nodded and went after her. "Come on, we'll go this way."

Castiel followed him, frowning.

"Why do you treat Katrina like that? She has done nothing but help us."

"Correction, she's helped you."

"I thought I was one of you now," Castiel said quietly, "Does the, 'if you help or hurt one of us, you've helped or hurt all of us' rule not apply to me?"

"No…" Dean sighed, guilt flashing through him at Castiel's face, "of course it does. It's just…" he ran a hand through his hair, "there's something off about her. Something isn't right here. And you may have her eternal loyalty, but I don't. I wouldn't put it past her to kill us off and keep you alive."

"Katrina wouldn't hurt anyone…" Castiel said, growing nervous. Dean was catching on to Katrina's unique nature. "She has never killed anyone."

"Did she tell you that?"

"Yes."

"I wouldn't call that a reliable source. People lie Cas."

"I know," Castiel said, "But she doesn't. Please. Katrina is good, even under her circumstances."

"And what circumstances are those?"

Castiel clamped his mouth shut.

"Cas, if there's something wrong with this chick, I need to know. I need to know what we're housing under our roof. She's dangerous, and she knows where we sleep."

"She's not dangerous, I swear."

"Anything that could kill us with a thought is considered dangerous Cas."

"Dogs have the potential to kill us Dean. So does falling down the stairs or getting into a car accident. But we do not live our lives in fear, refusing to go to the second floor or walking everywhere we go. A person or creature's potential does not define who and what they are!" Castiel said, getting louder.

Dean stared at him for a moment, before saying, "Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?"

Castiel swallowed.

"Come on…" Dean said in a resigned tone, "We can talk about this later. We have a job to do now."

* * *

Sam kept up with Katrina easily, considering the fact that his legs were half the length of her body. Katrina stared ahead, her mouth set in a scowl.

"Do you even know where you're going? Or are you just walking in a random direction?"

"Well, since apparently I'm not allowed to use my powers, I'm using your asshole brothers plan to use you as bait. Hopefully you're as famous as he says you are."

Sam chuckled, "I think infamous is a better term. They really don't like us."

"Both sides?"

"Yep. Well… Angels used to like Dean, but he kinda pissed them off. They never really liked me."

"I wonder what their problem was. Dean's an asshole. He comes up with the stupidest nicknames, too."

"I would say he's okay once you get to know him... but that's not exactly true. He's just easier to tolerate because you can understand him better."

Katrina grunted noncommittally.

"It's tough, but… he's family, you know?"

"No, I can't say I do," Katrina huffed.

"Right, I forgot. You just have Cas."

Katrina didn't respond.

"You know, if it would really help, you can use your powers."

Katrina glanced up at Sam suspiciously. "Really? You don't think I'll just lead you to a trap or something?"

"No. I trust you," Sam said.

Katrina just blinked. She didn't know what to say. After a while, she shrugged, "Alright." She closed her eyes, reaching out her awareness. She passed Sam's soul and the souls of many other humans, but soon came upon something that was distinctly not human. Whatever they were, they were dark. But it wasn't an ugly darkness, it was surprisingly alluring, not at all like the evil that had been inside Castiel. Perplexed, she drew back, opening her eyes.

"There's some two blocks east of here," she said.

"Angels or demons?" Sam asked.

Katrina wasn't sure. But if she had to choose she would probably say demons. Demons were darkness after all, and angels were light. Right?

"Demons," she said.

"Okay, let's go," Sam said.

Katrina started walking in the direction of the demons.

"Hey," Sam said, stopping her, "Let's just fly."

"You're serious about this trusting thing, aren't you?"

"Completely."

Katrina gave him a once over, "Congratulations. You've found an angel who likes you better than she likes Dean Winchester."

Sam grinned.

"I've never transported someone was big as you," she said thoughtfully, "Let's see how this goes, Goliath."

Sam stuck his tongue out at her before he felt his feet wrenched from the ground as she grabbed his arm and flew them away.

They landed outside of a pub.

"They're in there," Katrina said, "but there's humans in there too. What do we do?"

"Well... we could wait for them to come out... or," Sam smiled slyly, "we could trap them inside."

"How do we do that without trapping the humans too?"

"You've really never done any hunting, have you?"

"No. Like I said before, I heal. I don't kill."

"Still, I'd expect an angel to know about a devil's trap."

"Yeah whatever lets just put a dunce cap on me and assume I don't know anything about anything."

"Fine. Here's what we're gunna do..."

* * *

Katrina finished the last symbol that Sam had shown her how to draw outside the back door. She stepped away and leaned against the alley wall. They had also put salt around the entire building. When asked what purpose it served, Sam had told her it was to keep them from "smoking out of there." Whatever in the hell that meant. Sam showed up five minutes later, a rosary in his hand.

"What's that for?" Katrina asked, "are we gunna hail mary them to death?"

"It's a surprise."

"Okay... What now?"

"I need you to fly in and pull the fire alarm."

"Really? Pull the fire alarm? That's your genius plan?"

"Yep. All of the humans will leave. Most of the demons will probably stay, either out of suspicion or the fact that they don't really have to worry about fire. If any of them do try to leave, they'll get caught in one of the traps. After we're sure all the humans have left, we can get to the part where I make some demon kebabs and you grill 'em up."

"You mean smite them?"

"Yep."

Alright, apparently she could smite demons, that would be handy. "Okay, I'll look for the fire alarm then I guess." Katrina closed her eyes, sweeping her sight through the pub. She found one in a hallway behind the kitchen. She opened her eyes. "Alright. Let's do this."

Sam gave her a nod and she flew into the building. Glancing around to make sure no one was in sight, she pulled the alarm. A loud screech rang through the building, repeating over and over. Katrina grimaced at the noise. It was like nails on a chalkboard.

She peeked into the kitchen to see the workers leaving hurriedly. She walked through the kitchen and looked out the small circular window in the door. Sure enough, practically everyone was filing out of the doorway, except for a group of about seven in the back corner. There was something off about their faces. Katrina couldn't quite see it from this far away, but sometimes when the angle was right, their faces seemed to be made of nothing but a black mist. Within seconds, the demons were the only ones left. It was strange how quickly humans could move sometimes. One of the demons stood, looking around suspiciously. Katrina shrunk back as his eyes flitted over to the door that she was standing behind.

She heard the demon start to walk towards the door, but his path was interrupted when the fire sprinklers suddenly came on. Katrina was surprised to hear a great deal of hissing and screaming. She peeked back out of the window, her eyes widening at the sight before her. It seemed as if the demons' skin was smoking. They covered their faces in pain, yelling. One made its way to a side door, but found itself trapped as soon as it crossed the threshold.

It's body soon fell to the ground and was stepped over by Sam, a serrated knife in hand. Katrina came out of the kitchen.

"What the hell is in this water?" she said, reluctantly stepping out into the drizzle once she saw that Sam wasn't affected by it.

"It's holy water."

"Winchester," One of the demons spat. All of the demons were standing now, but they were too busy shielding themselves from the holy rain to attack.

"I suppose this is the part where we start kebabing and smiting?" Katrina asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"That'd be correct," Sam smiled, stepping forward and burrowing his knife into the closest demon's chest. Yellow sparks flew from the wound and the demon's eyes. Katrina took a step back, surprised.

"Come on," Sam called, running after the next one. The demons were more actively fighting back now, but Sam was killing them easily. One of the demons seemed to notice Katrina had no idea what she was doing, and started towards her. Katrina bit back her fear and moved forward to meet it, placing her hand on its forehead.

Nothing happened.

Katrina's brow furrowed in surprise, but she didn't have much time to dwell on it before the demon threw her back into a wall. She flitted to Sam's side as he plunged his knife into another demon.

"You wouldn't happen to have another one of those fancy blades would you?"

"What? Why?!"

"Apparently my smite switch has been turned off or something." A demon ran up behind her, she spun around and put her hand over his face. Again, nothing happened. She pulled it around and in front of Sam, who stabbed it in the chest. "See?"

"Great. Just great," Sam grimaced. There were two demons left now, and they seemed to understand that they weren't going to win this fight. Their heads snapped back, and billowing clouds of black smoke poured out of their mouths. The bodies dropped to the floor.

Katrina stepped closer to Sam in alarm as the clouds swirled around the room. The clouds seemed agitated, flying from door to door and window to window. The water seemed to have finally shut off, leaving everything soaking wet.

"See? They can't get out with the salt there," Sam said.

"But how do we kill them now? They're just clouds of smoke."

"Uh… I don't know. Are you sure you can't smite them?"

Katrina sighed, "I can try." She held out a hand, concentrating with all of her might. One of clouds halted in its tracks, quivering.

"Okay, that's a good sign I guess," Sam said encouragingly.

Katrina moved her hand downward some, and was surprised to see that the smoke followed it. She moved it further, watching as the cloud moved around with it, as if she held it on a leash. An idea occurred to Katrina. She led the cloud down to one of the bodies that Sam had killed, silently willing it into the corpse. She was pleased that her hunch had been correct when the smoke started to snake into its mouth. The now occupied body gasped. Sam made a "not bad" face and dug his knife into the demon's stomach.

"Okay," Sam said, "Last one."

Katrina repeated the process more easily this time, but before Sam could kill it, it choked out, "What the hell are you?" staring at Katrina.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, hesitating, "She's an angel, obviously."

"That's no angel," the demon said, narrowing it's eyes.

"What do you mean?" Katrina said, her voice rising an octave, "Of course I'm an angel!"

"Oh shutup," it spat, "Do you think I'm stupid? You think I don't know an angel when I see one? You couldn't even smite a little demon. How long have you been playing as the Winchesters' pet, readying yourself to turn on them when the opportunity arose?"

Katrina stared, stuttering incoherently.

The demon laughed, "Sorry, I guess I just blew your cover, didn't I? Good. Now the Winchesters'll kill you too and you're going to go to the exact same place as me. See you on the flip side, bitch." The demon continued to laugh, laying its head back down on the ground as it cackled. Sam finally drove his blade into its throat and silenced it, before quietly turning to Katrina.

Katrina took a shaky step back. Sam was going to try to kill her. She would have to run away and make sure she never crossed paths with the Winchesters again. They would probably try to hunt her down. She didn't even know if Castiel would come with her. She slipped on the wet floor, her mouth gaping in surprise as she hit the ground. She tried to fly away but found that she was too panicked to remember how to use her wings. Suddenly it was as if she had no wings at all. She was just a feeble human. "Please! Don't!" she choked out, begging as Sam stepped closer.

"Hey, hey," Sam crouched down next to her, holding his hands up in a surrendering position as she attempted to scurry backwards away from him, "Calm down. I'm not going to kill you."

Katrina froze, "You're not..?"

"No. I'm not. I don't see any reason to."

"B-But… the demon said-"

"Exactly," Sam interrupted, "the demon said. I learned a long time ago not to trust them. Besides, I don't think this knife works on anything but demons. You need an angel blade to kill an angel."

"So you believe me? You believe that I'm an angel?"

"Not exactly," Sam reached out a hand. Katrina took it hesitantly and let him help her stand up. "I've had my suspicions for a while now. Nothing about you seems all that angelic, except for the flying thing. You're just too different, and I don't just mean your powers. You're too empathetic, too emotional. Almost all of the angels we've met have been so Spock. You're way too Captain Kirk." Katrina snorted quietly. "And then there's the fact that you got that joke," Sam cocked his head, looking at her searchingly. Katrina looked down. "But, I don't think that you not being an angel is a bad thing. Another thing most angels have in common is that they're all dicks. We've had our share of skirmishes with them too. I don't care what you are, as long as you're on our side."

Katrina nodded, a small grateful smile playing on her lips. Her reply was interrupted by the sounds of sirens from outside. Katrina grabbed Sam's arm and flew them a block away. Sam stumbled a bit as they landed, surprised.

"You should really warn me before you do that," he said, dizzy.

"Sorry."

Sam looked at her scrutinizingly, "Any chance you'll tell me what you really are?"

"I would if I could," Katrina frowned, "I don't actually know. I mean… there probably isn't a name for what I am. I've always just thought of myself as an angel, but I guess I knew that I wasn't really one, not exactly."

"Well, do you know how you were made?"

"I-"

Katrina! Help!

Katrina's head snapped up in alarm.

"Castiel."

"What?"

Katrina wasted no time, grabbing Sam once more and flying them to Castiel's location.

They landed and found themselves in an empty warehouse, surrounded by angels. Castiel and Dean were both being held with angel blades to their throats. Katrina jumped straight into action, leaping at the nearest angel and smiting it with a blinding light. She grabbed the blade that had fallen out of its hand and tossed it to Sam, who was staring at her, his mouth agape with shock.

"What the hell…" the angel holding Dean murmured.

"Don't just stand there," the one holding Castiel shouted, "Kill her!"

The others sprang to life and rushed her, forming a tight circle around her. Katrina fought as hard as she could, punching and kicking, and smiting when she could a proper hold on one. But there were too many, and soon one of their blades had pierced her back, sending her to her knees.

"Katrina!" Castiel yelled, struggling against his captor, to no avail.

Katrina put her hands on the ground, breathing heavily. It hurt like hell, yet… she wasn't dead. She slowly reached up and pulled the blade out of her own back, grimacing as it slid out. Confused muttering broke out among the angels, and they all backed away as she stood. She brushed her hands off on her pants, feeling the wound in her back closing up already.

"Well ow," she said in an irritated tone. The look the angels were giving her was nothing short of terrified. She smirked, "Anyone else wanna try?" The angel holding Dean had let go in shock, but Dean looked so surprised as well that he didn't move. The angel holding Castiel, however, was not so easily swayed.

"You may be immune to our blades," she replied, "but they aren't." With that, she drove her own blade into Castiel's ribcage, grinning triumphantly. Everything seemed to go in slow motion for Katrina from there. Castiel fell to the ground with a thud, his eyes wide and his mouth open in a silent 'o'.

A scream of rage ripped from Katrina's throat as she rushed forward. She felt something building up inside of her, threatening to burst out, like a hurricane trapped in plastic wrap. Her fists clenched and her wings flared open. Then, she saw nothing.

Sam took a hasty step back as golden light started to emanate from Katrina's eyes, then her whole body seemed to be glowing. He remembered a similar thing happening with Anna once, a long time ago. She had told them to close their eyes. The demon who hadn't had been vaporized on the spot. He ran over to Dean, shielding his eyes and motioning for him to do the same. Dean followed in suit. The light blasted from Katrina, sweeping around them in a fiery blaze.

When it was over, Dean and Sam straightened up, looking around. All of the angels were gone. All that remained was the corpses of the angels that had already been killed, Katrina, and Castiel.

"Cas!" Dean said, running to Castiel's lifeless form. Katrina was on her hands and knees, her breath ragged. She stood slowly and went to Castiel, her feet dragging.

"Move," she said, her voice rough. Dean moved out of her way, allowing her to kneel next to Castiel. She placed a hand on his chest and took a deep breath, closing her eyes. When she opened them, the wound was gone.

"Come on Cas…" Dean muttered.

Castiel's eyes fluttered open. The Winchesters both breathed a sigh of relief.

A weak smile spread on Katrina's face, "That's the second time I've watched you die and had to bring you back… let's not go for a third," and with that, she blacked out.

Castiel sat up with a start, "Katrina?"

Sam rushed to her side, searching for a pulse. He found one, and she was obviously still breathing.

"What happened?" Castiel asked, panic bubbling in his voice.

"Well, after you got stabbed, Katrina went crazy and fried everyone in one go. Then she brought you back," Sam explained.

"Yeah, speaking of which," Dean added, "what the hell was up with that? The angel blade didn't kill her, and she can smite angels?"

"She probably used up too much energy," Castiel said, ignoring Dean's questions. He placed a hand on her cheek, his gaze scanning her face, "She will probably wake once she's recharged."

"Cas, what just happened? What the hell is she?"

Castiel looked up at him, frustrated, "Can we talk about this later? We need to get her back to the bunker where it's safe."

"No way, I'm not bringing her back until I know what-"

"Dean," Sam interrupted, "even if she does have these weird powers, she just used them to save us. Can't we cut her some slack and give her the benefit of the doubt?"

"The benefit of the doubt gets you killed Sammy."

"Well it hasn't yet. She's had every opportunity to kill us, or let us die and she's done nothing but save our asses. I think we can trust her."

Dean stared at Sam angrily, before resigning with a sigh. "Fine. We'll take her back to the bunker for now. But after that, you guys are gunna answer my questions. All of them."

Castiel nodded solemnly, a lump in his throat.

"Here," Sam slid his arms underneath Katrina and picked her up gently. "How far are we from the car?"

"Three blocks," Dean said, "One question though. Why are you guys all wet?"

Sam laughed, "Don't worry about it."

"Well you're definitely not getting in my car like that."

* * *

Katrina woke slowly, groggy. She opened her eyes and found that she was in Castiel's bed. She hadn't experienced the feeling of waking up in years. She didn't miss it at all. Awful feeling really. She looked to her side. Sitting next to the bed was Sam, his demon killing knife in hand.

"You on guard duty?" She asked, smiling, "protecting me from the big bad angels?"

Sam looked up at her, "uh... no actually.. kind of the opposite."

Katrina sat up, "What?"

Sam shifted, looking down at the knife, "Dean doesn't trust you at all now, after that stunt you pulled with the angels. He wants answers. He wanted me to make sure that you didn't fly off after Cas insisted that we put you in a bed instead of shackling you up like Crowley."

"Oh..." It seemed as if she had taken residence as a prisoner now instead of a guest. "Well… I guess we might as well get this over with." She stood and followed Sam out the door and into the main room. Castiel was pacing nervously back and forward while Dean sat at the table, reading the paper.

"Katrina!" Relief washed over Castiel as she entered the room. He crossed over to her, pulling her into a hug. Katrina stiffened momentarily in surprise, then wrapped her arms around him.

"Okay, that's enough," Dean said, his voice and face hard as he stood. "Cas, Sam, over here. You, sit down," he nodded to a chair at the end of the table. Katrina decided not to respond with her usual attitude, seeing how potentially serious this could be. She just sat down quietly. "Cas, you can sit right there," he motioned to a chair closer to him. Castiel sat down, his face resembling that of a child who was about to be severely scolded. "Alright. We'll start with the basics: What are you?"

"I'm an angel," Katrina said cooly.

"Okay, you can drop that whole thing because I'll tell you, I've never seen an angel do what you did back there. And I saw you get stabbed in the back with an angel blade. You should've been dead right there. And from what Sam told me, you can't smite demons. That doesn't sound like an angel to me."

"She's not an angel," Castiel said quietly, "but that's the closest creature you can compare her to."

"What does that even mean? What is she?"

"I'm an angel," Katrina said. She looked at Castiel, "just from a different God." Castiel flushed.

"And which God is that?" Dean asked. Katrina opened her mouth, but Castiel cut her off.

"He was no God."

Katrina glared at him, "Yes he was." She didn't understand what was happening. She had been under the impression that she would be going into this with Castiel on her side, but it seemed that he was against her as well.

"Who?" Dean said, frustrated.

"Castiel," Katrina finally said, crossing her arms and leaning back.

"Excuse me?" Dean's voice was tainted in disbelief. He placed his hands on the table in front of him, leaning forward. "I think I heard that wrong. You said who created you?"

"Castiel. He created me."

Both Sam and Dean stared at her in shock.

"What?" Sam asked incredulously, "How?"

"I think he may be more of the expert on that part."

Dean and Sam turned to Castiel expectantly.

Castiel looked down at his hands, "While… while I was harnessing the power of the souls of purgatory… I met Katrina, and she became one of my disciples. Later… I made her into an angel... of sorts, using the souls of purgatory."

"You're kidding me," Dean said.

"What's wrong with that?" Katrina asked. She didn't know anything about purgatory. But both of the Winchesters had reacted significantly when Castiel had mentioned it.

"I can list several things," Dean's voice was rising angrily.

"I know Dean… I'm sorry," Castiel said, shame painting his face.

"I mean seriously Cas! What were you thinking?" Dean said loudly. Castiel flinched.

"Please," Katrina was beginning to grow angry, "enlighten me as to what is so bad about this!"

"Okay," Dean snapped, "Let's start with purgatory, the source of your power. It's where monsters go when they die. Those souls that Cas had inside of him, they were the souls of things like demons, vampires, and leviathan. You're fueled by monster juice. You are are practically the opposite of a heavenly creature. You are hell adjacent!"

"Dean…" Sam said quietly.

"No Sam. Let me finish. Now there's the fact that you apparently used to be human. You know something that almost all monsters- things like demons, werewolves, vampires, wendigos, and ghosts- things we hunt, all have in common? They were all humans once, just like you. You can't smite demons, but you smite angels like it's nothing. What about that doesn't scream evil?"

"Excuse me?" Katrina stood up angrily, "Evil? Before I found Castiel less than a week ago, I had never killed anyone in my entire life. I have done nothing but save people. My slate was clean! Can you say the same Dean Winchester? If you can kill as swiftly and effortlessly as I saw Sam do with those demons, I highly doubt it. So who is the real monster here? How much death follows in your wake?"

Instead of answering her Dean turned to Castiel, frustrating Katrina to no end, "How could you let her go all of these years believing that she was some divine being? How did you let your God complex get that far? You had worshippers? What the hell Cas?" Castiel had grown pale. He didn't seem to be able to handle Dean's anger.

"I know Dean," Castiel's voice broke, "I know that the mistakes I made were insurmountable and blasphemous, and that what I did was an abomination, but... maybe we can try to make something good of this. Please. I can't undo what I've done, as much as I wish I could take everything back."

Dean put a hand over his face, trying to think of a response. But a quiet trembling voice interrupted him.

"W-what?" Katrina said, her hands shaking. Castiel stiffened and turned to look at her, seeming to realize what he had just said. "Y-you think I'm an… abomination?" Her voice cracked.

"No, Katrina I-" Castiel started, his voice thick with regret.

"You think I'm a mistake?" Katrina said louder, "After all of the people that I've healed, lives that I've saved, including your own, you wish you could take it all back?" Her eyes began to sting as tears started to collect in them. She could handle the Winchesters thinking she was a monster. But Castiel? All this time he had thought she was an abomination. He was disgusted with her. Castiel was all she had. Her light and deity wished that he had never created her.

"Katrina… you have to understand-"

"Understand what? That I'm a monster? That the source of my powers mean that I deserve to be hunted down like an animal even when I've done no harm? You know that I've never hurt anyone, and that I wouldn't. Just because I'm different doesn't mean that what I am is wrong," her voice had taken on a pleading tone.

"No," Castiel said firmly, "what I did was wrong. I should have known better than to believe myself a God. I was vain and egotistical, and thought that I needed my own creations, but I was wrong. I did not deserve any angels, or worshippers."

"Why not?" Katrina cried, "You may not believe that you deserved my worship, but it was my worship to give and I decided that you did deserve it."

"Are you crazy?" Dean interjected, "He killed hundreds of people! People don't just get to play God!"

"He may have killed people, but he also saved hundreds! I watched him cure so many children who suffered from things like cancer, who had only months to live! If you found those parents, I am sure that they would gladly bow down to him as well. Not out of fear for their lives, but out of gratitude and love! At least Castiel cared enough to try and change the world! In case you haven't noticed, God doesn't care anymore! He's long gone! Maybe he feels about you the same way that Castiel feels about me. Maybe he's so disgusted with the human race that he's abandoned you. Because why try to protect you from monsters and the spawn of hell when you'll just end up killing yourselves with guns and abuse and drugs and pollution? Castiel chose not to give up on you destructive creatures though. He tried to set things right, and maybe he might have gone about it the wrong way but at least his intentions were good. It was enough for me."

"You're crazy," Dean said, exasperated.

"Maybe I am! But that's irrelevant! Just like Castiel I have nothing but good intentions, but there is one way in which we differ. I haven't done anything that you can say is wrong. You can't pin any blame on me for anything. Isn't that more important than where I get my powers from? Isn't that enough to make me good?"

"Sorry," Dean said, "but just the fact that you haven't killed anyone yet, doesn't change what you are. Who knows what you'll be driven to do with your 'divine purpose' a hundred years from now? Honestly, the way you talk about humans doesn't give me much reassurance."

"You're going to convict me based on something that I could do?" she turned to Castiel, "Please. Tell me you don't believe this too. Tell me you realize that what I am isn't important."

Castiel wouldn't look at her, "I'm sorry, but it is important. I should never have made you… It goes against all nature. After what the souls of purgatory did to me and my ability to differentiate between right and wrong, I fear for what you may do after I'm gone…"

Katrina felt the tears finally tumble out her eyes. Her breath hitched as they rolled down her face. "Fine… Why wait? You may as well just kill me now and get it over with since you're so sure of my evil," she choked out, "Hell, I might just go out and act like the monster I really am so that you can feel good and justified. In fact I think I'll do that now. Sounds like a swell plan."

"Katrina-" Sam started.

"No!" Katrina yelled. Her tears suddenly stopping as her head snapped up. She threw her arms out in front of her, fingers spread and palms facing out. Castiel and the Winchesters went flying back into the walls and bookshelves. When they sat up, holding the backs of their sore heads, she was gone.

* * *

Katrina stalked down the dark street, not even watching where she was going. Her fists were clenched tight and her head was pointed down to the ground. She used only her supernatural awareness to guide her, searching for her first victim. She would practice on just one first, just to figure out how the whole killing thing felt. Then, she would do something huge. Something that the Winchesters would undoubtedly see. She would show them what a monster really looked like. Her head snapped up as she sensed soul nearby. A man was walking in the opposite direction on the other side of the street. Katrina's heart skipped a beat. Then, his phone went off. The man pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"Hey babe, what's up?" He answered, "Yeah, I'm almost home. I'll be there in a minute or two. Yep. Love you too." He hung up and put his phone back in his pocket.

Katrina stopped in her tracks. She couldn't do it. He wasn't just some depersonalized human on the street anymore. He was someone who had a wife. She could see the ring on his finger now. He had a wife who was expecting him home soon, he had a mother and a father and maybe even a kid. If she killed him, she would be ripping him from their lives. They would never be the same. She couldn't do to them what that idiot robbing a gas station had done to her family when he shot her father. She would be doing that to the families of anyone she ever killed, and she would never be able to live with herself if she did that. Yes. He would make it home safe tonight.

She started following him, making herself invisible, up until he reached the door to his house. She flew into his house. The man walked in and was greeted by his wife, who was very pregnant. Katrina smiled as he kissed her and placed a loving hand on her stomach. Then, she left.

She went to the Grand Canyon, sitting on one of the tall towers made of rock, surrounded by deep gorges. She remembered when Castiel had brought her here last, back when he was proud of her. Now she was alone again. She had no family, no friends, no God, and for the first time, she too wished she had never been created.

* * *

Castiel sat alone in his bedroom. Dean had attempted to lure him out a few times, but he had refused. He couldn't believe he had said those things to Katrina. What was wrong with him? These last few days, he had known what she was. He had known the true nature of her powers. Yet, that didn't make him care for her any less. It didn't make him any less terrified that he was going to lose her when the angel had stabbed her or when she had fainted. He wasn't afraid of leaving her alone with the Winchesters. It didn't make him reluctant to let her out of his sight in fear that she may go off and kill people. So why had he said to her that he was?

He knew why of course. As idiotic and childish as it was, he couldn't stand being the target of Dean's disgust. He knew that standing up for Katrina would be taking a stand against Dean, and he couldn't bring himself to fight with the hunter. It was nowhere good enough a reason, but it was a reason nonetheless. So, he allowed himself to project his own self-hate and shame on Katrina and treat her like a monster. It was truly disgraceful of him.

Castiel buried his face in his pillow.

And now Katrina was out doing who knows what. They had turned what could have been a perfectly peaceful creature who probably wouldn't have hurt a single innocent soul in her life into a violent and hurt being whose out-lashings could potentially kill hundreds of people. All of the people that she would hurt would be on Castiel's head. It was his fault. Katrina had nothing left. Her father had died long ago, and her mother had abandoned her emotionally by the time she was a teenager. He had taken her out of college and put her on a holy mission and then left her alone and without guidance. Then he had found her again and given her hope. But now he had just taken that hope away, and it was utterly despicable of him. To expect a person to go through that and not snap was highly irrational. And she did snap.

It honestly seemed as if all he ever did was screw up, ever since he had rebelled against heaven. He had done nothing but make several enormous messes, whether it was releasing the leviathan into the world or throwing all of the angels out of heaven. Not for the first time, Castiel wondered whether or not free will had really been worth all of this trouble.

* * *

"Dean?"

"Hmm?"

"I've been thinking."

"Bout what Sammy?"

"You really shouldn't have done that yesterday."

Dean looked up at his brother, surprised, "What do you mean?"

"You shouldn't have treated Katrina like that. She's only ever helped us."

Dean sighed. He had been wondering if he would be having this conversation after Sam had remained silent about it for the last day and a half. "Sam, that girl was a big bottle of crazy. You heard Cas, even he said that what she was was wrong."

"Yeah. Castiel was being an asshole just like you." Dean rolled his eyes.

"Seriously Sam, we didn't need her around. I already have my eyes in too many places. It'd be too much for me to have to watch out for her too."

"Yeah, so you break her down and make her snap, so that she'll leave and hurt who knows how many people. That's a fantastic idea," Sam said sarcastically.

Dean pondered this for a moment, "Yeah… maybe we should go hunt her down…"

"No Dean! That's not at all what I meant!" Sam said angrily, "I mean she needs help! Just because she's not a 'real' angel doesn't mean she's a monster! In fact, it probably makes her even better!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Think about it. Out of the maybe hundred angels that we've met, who besides Cas, Anna, Gabriel and Balthazar turned out to be good? Honestly, the morality of the last two are seriously ambiguous. All of the other angels were just robots, just tools who followed orders even when they were horrific. They had no humanity. The thing that made Castiel and Anna good was their humanity. The biggest difference between Katrina and angels is her humanity, yet you've shunned her like a monster, like it's a bad thing. But she's exactly what we need, a creature with the powers of an angel but the empathy of a human."

Dean stared at him quietly, deep in thought.

"What I don't get is why you care so much," He finally said.

"Because I know what it's like to be called an abomination," Sam said quietly, "And at least I had you when the angels dropped that bomb on me. Katrina has no one."

Dean sighed, running a hand over his face. He was silent for what seemed like forever to Sam, but his shoulders finally slumped in resignation. "As much as I'd hate to admit it, your points are pretty strong." He stretched, cracking his back and neck as he stood, "But what can we do? We've already scared her off, and she's probably already gone out and killed a bunch of people. We can't overlook that."

"I don't think she has," Sam said, shaking his head, "We would have heard about it. It would have been something big, something she knew we would see. 'I'll go out and act like the monster I am' she had said. If she killed anyone, it would be to make a point, so she wouldn't do it unless it was something so big that we couldn't miss it."

"So how are we going to find her if she isn't killing anyone?"

"Well, if she's anything like an angel, we should be able to pray to her. I'm pretty sure that that's how she knew that you and Castiel were in trouble when you got caught up with the angels. Maybe I can convince her to come back."

"Okay," Dean nodded, "You get on that. I'm gunna go talk to Cas. I'm sure he won't object. He obviously feels really guilty. He's been sulking in his room since yesterday. Won't come out. He hasn't even eaten anything."

Sam wondered if that was one of the reasons Dean had given in so easily. He honestly hadn't expected this conversation to go so well. But if it meant that Castiel would be happy, it was likely that Dean would do just about anything. Though Dean would never admit it, Sam could see he was always happiest when Castiel was around. It was sickeningly sweet.

Sam made his way to his bedroom. Though Dean had never really thought of prayer as anything but a means for communication with Castiel, Sam felt that it should be treated with more respect. It didn't feel right to just call for an angel with the same disregard as one would leave a voicemail. He sat down on the edge of his bed and clasped his hands together.

He closed his eyes, "Katrina, are you there?" He kicked himself mentally, it wasn't as if she could respond. "If you're listening, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for what my brother said yesterday. He's really bad with jumping to conclusions, as you've probably guessed. I uh… I talked to him. I think I may have turned him around. Well, either that or he just thinks you'll be useful, or he wants Cas to come out of his room. Yeah, Cas feels pretty guilty too by the looks of it. He probably didn't mean anything that he said. People can be really hateful when they're really just angry at themselves. Trust me, I know. I've seen it many times. So… if you want to come back, you could. I understand if you don't want to. I also get that this shouldn't really qualify as an apology for Dean and Cas. But as for me, I'm really sorry that I didn't speak up when they were saying all of those awful things. I guess I was just a bit in shock too. I was too busy thinking about what you had told us to realize what Dean was doing. I don't really know why I'm still talking. I guess part of me thought you might show up in the middle of it so I wouldn't have to finish, but I can see now that that's not going to happen. And that's okay. If you need time to think, I understand. I just wanted to apologize and tell you that you're welcome to come back. Also, I kind of get what you're going through, so if you want maybe we can talk about it." He chuckled, "That is, if you're okay with spilling your guts to a Winchester. So, that's all… Uh… Over and out." Sam opened his eyes and looked around the room. It remained empty. He sighed and laid back onto his bed. They would just have to give her time.

* * *

Dean knocked on Castiel's door, not surprised when there was no response. He opened the door slowly, peering into the dark room.

"Cas?" He stepped in, closing the door behind him, "I'm gunna turn the light on." He ran his hand along the wall until he found the switch, flicking it up. The room came into sight, and so did Castiel. Or at least, Castiel's shape under the blanket. Dean sighed, "Cas, come on." He sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled the covers off of Castiel's head. He was met with a melancholic stare. "Alright Cas, sit up. Let's talk." He pulled the reluctant ex-angel up into a sitting position.

"I don't think there's anything to talk about Dean," Castiel muttered.

"Cas you've been holed up in here for almost two days. You're not eating, you won't talk to me. Obviously there's something wrong."

"Even if there is, I don't see how talking will fix anything."

"Well you never know, just lay it on me."

Castiel hesitated, "I don't want this to end in an argument."

"I promise I won't get mad, no matter what you say," Dean said, holding his hands up in a position of surrender, "I just wanna see if there's anything I can do for you."

"Okay…" Castiel said quietly, "We were wrong… about Katrina."

"Alright," Dean nodded, "and why is that?"

"I know Katrina better than anyone, I've been in her head. She has never shown signs of being anything but good. Even when I knew what she was, as ashamed as I was of her, I never feared that she would harm anyone. All of the things I said were a projection of my own self disgust onto her. She didn't deserve it at all. And now we've pushed her into violence. Any death she brings will be all on our own heads. Mine most of all. As ridiculous as it is, she values my opinion over anyone else on the planet. And I've failed her." He hung his head in shame.

"Okay, well first of all," Dean said, "according to Sam, Katrina hasn't hurt you don't have to worry about that."

Castiel looked up, an eyebrow cocked in disbelief.

"Yeah, I know. I was surprised too. And second, you're right. I definitely jumped on the opportunity to pin the monster tag on her way too quickly. I guess I was just really eager to hate her, 'cause you and her just seemed so close and I…" he faded off, his face turning red.

"You don't like her because we're close…?" Castiel asked, confused.

"No… uh yeah. Well. Nevermind, it's nothin'," Dean avoided Castiel's stare. "Another reason I came in here was to tell you that Sam and I talked about it, and Sam's gunna see if he can convince her to come back. I guess it'd be pretty useful to have her around again, and if it'll get you to quit sulkin' like a big baby, I'm all for it."

Castiel's face lit up, "Really? You'll let her live with us?"

"Yeah. If Sam can get her to come, I'll let her stay."

Castiel threw his arms around Dean, causing him to freeze in surprise. He relaxed into the hug, patting Castiel's head reassuringly. "Thank you."

"Yeah, don't mention it," Dean said as he pulled away.

"Do you think that perhaps I should pray to Katrina as well?"

"No I think we should let Sam handle it. She might listen to him, since he was the only one who kept his mouth shut yesterday."

"I suppose you're right." Castiel said reluctantly. It still didn't seem right that Sam would be the one to convince her to come back. He was surprised to feel a pang of jealousy.

"Don't worry," Dean patted Castiel on the back, "you'll have your chance to apologize when she comes back. Now come on, let's go get you some food."

* * *

Sam stood at the edge of a huge gorge. Red and orange rock surrounded him in swirls and patterns, going on for miles and miles. He looked around, confused. He couldn't remember how he had gotten there. He didn't remember anything. He looked around, panic bubbling into his throat.

"You're dreaming," A voice said to his left. Sam's head whipped around. Katrina was sitting on the ledge, her feet dangling over it.

"I am?" Sam asked, looking at his own hands. It felt more real than any dream he had ever had. It was even more so than the visions he used to have when he and Dean had first started on the road together.

"Yeah. It was the safest way to communicate with you without going back to the bunker."

Sam walked over to the ledge, sitting down next to her. "Where are you?"

"I'm here," Katrina motioned around them.

"You're in the Grand Canyon? Why?"

"Castiel took me here once…" Katrina said, "Well, I flew here myself. That was when he was teaching me how to fly. It was the first time I successfully reached the intended destination from a long distance. He had been proud of me…" She faded off, looking down at her feet.

Sam didn't know what to say, but he figured that Katrina must have had something to talk about, so he waited.

"I got your prayer…" Katrina started again, "Obviously. That's why I came. I wanted to talk… but I didn't want to risk going to the bunker, just in case it was a trap." Sam grimaced. Honestly, it sounded like something Dean would do. "Do you really think Castiel wants me back?"

"I think so… He hasn't eaten or spoken to anyone since yesterday. He's just sitting in his room."

"The bunker must have been really awkwardly quiet."

Sam chuckled, "Yeah. Kevin didn't even ask where you went. He just seemed to sense that something was wrong and that we were all in a mood, and steered clear of all of us."

"You were all in a mood? Not just Castiel?"

"Well, I think that Dean was grumpy because he had been hoping that by kicking you out, Cas would finally be all his again. I think he's so used to him and Cas being the only ones with the 'profound bond' that he couldn't handle Cas being close to someone else."

"So he's been acting like an asshole because he's jealous?" Katrina smirked.

"Probably. So when Cas got as upset as he did over what they said to you, Dean was kind of let down."

"And why were you in a mood?"

Sam took a deep breath, "I guess I was just mad at Dean for being such a dick, since I know that what he said was mostly fueled by his jealousy. He'd never admit that he just wants Cas all to himself."

"What the hell is even going on between them anyways? Castiel only told me about him a few times, but their relationship seems really weird."

"It is pretty weird. I honestly don't even know what's happening between them sometimes. Sometimes they just seem to have entire conversations through tension filled stares. It's pretty awkward for anyone around."

Katrina seemed to ponder this silently for a moment. Then she sighed.

"Thanks for sticking up for me to Dean, even if it was a bit delayed."

"Don't mention it. Cas isn't the only one who likes having you around. That's probably why I was in a bit of a bad mood too. I missed our talks."

Katrina flushed red. "You and your stupid talks…" she muttered.

Sam laughed.

"Speaking of which," she continued, "in your prayer, you said that you understood what I was going through. What did you mean?"

Sam leaned back, shifting some of his weight onto his hands. "It's kind of a long story… but basically, when I was six months old a demon fed me some of his blood. It changed me. I had no idea until I was in my early twenties. I started having visions of the future, but they were always gruesome ones. In the first that one I got, I saw my girlfriend die. I thought it was just a dream, and I brushed it off, but then it happened. Even then, I tried to pretend that it was a coincidence. But it just kept happening again and again, and I could never stop it in time. I felt like a whole new level of freak. But then a few times, I managed to save the people that I saw, and I felt like maybe it wasn't so bad after all. Then the angels came around years later. Dean had met them before me, and I had been so excited to finally meet them. I had always been the believer of the two of us. I prayed all the time. But when I met them," he let out a scornful, barking laugh, "they looked at me with disgust. They addressed me as the abomination. They wouldn't even shake my hand. To them I was nothing but the child with the demon blood. They would have killed me if it weren't for Dean."

Katrina let out a whistle. "Wow… that really sucks… I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well… I deserved some of it. I've certainly made my share of mistakes."

"I don't really think that that warrants such treatment though. As far as I can tell, you're a good person."

"Yeah, well, you don't know everything. I've really fucked up quite a few times. Sometimes I feel like I couldn't possibly ever make up for the things that I've done."

"Maybe, but even so… bad people rarely worry about whether or not they're a good person. I think the fact that you care so much just proves that your heart is in the right place."

"Thanks. You too."

"Sam, are you sick?"

"Why do you ask that?"

"Because I overheard Kevin say something about Dean worrying about how weak you are. You don't seem weak to me…"

"Oh, that's a bit of a long story too."

"Are you okay though?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Although, he's kinda right. I do feel a bit worn out. I hide it as much as I can, but I am weaker. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to crash, and I frequently sleep for fifteen hours at a time. I'm hoping that it will get better in time… but honestly it feels like I may be getting worse. As much as I try to hide it, I guess Dean can see how I'm slowly deteriorating."

"Well, you certainly hid it pretty well from me. If you in that bar was your weaker self, I don't think I wanna see you at your full potential. It sounds terrifying, even for me." Sam laughed. Katrina smiled. Honestly it was a bit weird for her to be talking to Sam like this. She hadn't had a single friend for the last almost three years. "Maybe I could see if there was anything I could do," she offered, "patch you up a bit. I'll try not to screw you up."

"So you'll come back?"

Katrina sighed, "Yeah… I guess. It's gunna be pretty awkward…"

"I'm sure it won't be anymore awkward than it is already. Kevin will be glad you're back."

"Yeah, I like Kevin," Katrina said, "he's a nice kid."

"How old are you then Katrina? Since you're apparently not a being older than the sands of time like most angels are."

"I'm twenty-seven," she said matter-of-factly.

"Wow, that's crazy. Here I was only a couple of days ago thinking you were millions of years older than me, and it turns out that you're younger than me."

"Well, I'll still grow older than you ever will. I'll make sure to remind you of that when you're dead and in heaven and I'm still alive."

"Who knows? I have a habit of not staying dead."

"Of course you do," Katrina laughed, wondering just how much there was to know about the Winchesters. "You'll have to tell me about that some time. But for now, I should let you sleep. You need it. You won't wake up feeling rested if you spend the entire time talking to me."

"Alright. I'll see you soon then?"

"Yep, see you soon."

The world around Sam shifted, and he felt himself being pulled out, like water slipping through bare hands.

"I'll try to put you into a more peaceful sleep than I found you in…" was the last thing he heard before he slipped back into a deep state of unconsciousness.


	6. Reunions

Sam woke up feeling better than he had in months. He certainly wasn’t 100%, but for once it was as if sleeping had actually provided him with rest. Normally he woke up feeling like he had been hit by a train. He savored the feeling for a moment before getting up. It was nearly noon. As he made his way down the hall, he could hear Castiel and Dean speaking.

“Cas, don’t worry. Sam just prayed to her yesterday, she might just need some time to think.”

“What if she doesn’t want to return? Or what if she’s run into trouble with demons or angels and she can’t come back or-”

“She can take care of herself, Cas. You really need to calm down. We just have to wait and see how it turns out.”

“Morning,” Sam said as he entered the room.

“Have you heard from Katrina?” Castiel asked urgently.

“Come on Cas,” Dean sighed, “He’s been asleep this whole time; how could he hear from her?”

“Right… sorry.”

“It’s fine. Maybe you should take a shower. It’ll help you calm down, plus it’s been a few days since you’ve had one.”

“But what if she comes while I’m in there?”

“If so, she’ll still be there when you get out,” Dean said, a bit of impatience tinting his voice.

“I suppose you’re right…”

For some reason, Sam was reluctant to tell them about how Katrina had visited him in his dreams. It was just a bit… intimate, he supposed. And how awkward would it be to explain it to Dean? The whole situation just sounded… cheesy. And he certainly didn’t feel like recounting their entire conversation to him.

So, he kept his mouth shut and went to the kitchen to make himself some coffee.

* * *

Katrina took a deep breath, raising her fist to knock on the heavy metal door. At the last second, she hesitated, snatching her hand back.

“Ugh…” She ran a hand through her hair, turning away from the door. Maybe she should just stay away. They’d probably be happier without her.

But… Sam had said that he missed her. Her face reddened. She shook her head. He was probably just being nice. His fascination with her didn’t necessarily mean that he liked her. Dean certainly didn’t like her. Kevin seemed to like her… but then again, Kevin didn’t know what she was.

Castiel was a whole different story. Even if he did feel guilty for what he had said, he still considered her to be a mistake. All this time. And she had kissed him. Yeah, may as well throw any hopes of a romantic relationship out of the window now. It was so embarrassing. Hopefully they could pretend it never happened.

She almost wanted to leave and come back later. Maybe tomorrow. But she knew that if she left now, she probably wouldn’t be able to work up the courage to come back again. Taking a deep breath, she finally stepped up to the door and knocked on it loudly. She fiddled with her shirt as she waited. Soon, the sound of locks unlatching could be heard on the other side of the door. Katrina took a nervous step back.

She was surprised to see that it was Dean who opened the door, who apparently was just as surprised to see her.

“...Hi,” Katrina said quietly.

“Uh, hey,” Dean replied, shifting awkwardly.

“Can I come in…?”

“Yeah, sure,” Dean moved to the side. Katrina stepped in. The door closed behind her with a clang.

“Where’s Castiel?” Katrina said as they walked down the stairs. She had half expected him to be the one to open the door.

“He’s in the shower.”

“Oh…”

There was an awkward silence as they came to the main room. Katrina cringed at it; it was almost painful. She turned around to face Dean, “Listen…” she began, “I know you don’t want me here… and I can understand why. So-”

“Katrina stop.” Katrina bit her tongue. It was the first time Dean had called her by her name, instead of some ridiculous nickname. “Look, the way I’ve been acting ever since we met, well... I’ve been a serious dick. I realize that now. All those things I said about you being a monster, I shouldn’t have said any of it. I was wrong… and… I’m sorry.”

Katrina observed him silently. The last part seemed a bit forced, but it was sincere. He didn’t seem like the type to make such apologies very often. Katrina smiled, “Thank you…”

Dean started to grow visibly uncomfortable, obviously not at ease with such situations. Luckily, he was saved by Sam’s entrance, coffee in hand.

“Hey,” he greeted Katrina when he saw her.

“Hi,” Katrina said cheerfully.

“Really? Just hey?” Dean said incredulously, “It almost sounds as if you were expecting her to be here.”

“That’s because he was,” Katrina raised an eyebrow, “He didn’t tell you?”

“No,” Dean said, “as a matter of fact, he did not tell me,” He threw an accusatory stare at Sam.

“Yeah… I told him last night. Talked to him in his dreams. One of the perks of being an ang- uh… whatever I am…”

“Wait, so you’re saying that when Cas asked if you had heard anything this morning, you knew and you didn’t saying anything?” He said, irritated.

“I uh…. thought it might be better if it was a surprise…?” Sam lied, terribly.

“You better not let Cas know that you knew.”

“Let me know what?” Castiel emerged from a doorway, dressed, but with still damp hair. He froze as his eyes locked with Katrina’s.

“Um… Hey,” Katrina said quietly. Nervousness started to rise into her throat as Castiel stared at her silently.

Then, suddenly, he was rushing straight at her. Katrina took a step back, cringing and almost expecting him to hit her or something. However, he surprised her by throwing his arms around her instead.

Katrina could practically feel the waves of emotion washing over her as his soul poured out such strong feelings of relief and joy, mixed with regret and guilt. Katrina grinned as the knot in her stomach loosened. She had been so afraid that things would be tense between them, or that he would be reluctant to let her back into their lives, but the pure unadulterated happiness that was flowing from him immediately erased all doubts. She eagerly returned the hug, burying her face into his chest.

Their moment was interrupted by an awkward cough. Castiel pulled away, his face turning red. Dean seemed to be the source of the noise, since Sam was glaring at him accusingly.

“So…” Katrina smoothed out her clothes nervously. Suddenly the room felt way too crowded, “Where’s Kevin…?”

“Uh,” Sam seemed thrown off guard by her question, “In his room I think.”

“Okay… I think I’ll go say hi…” She needed to get out. She and Castiel could continue their reunion when they were alone, without the prying eyes of the Winchester brothers. She walked quickly towards Kevin’s room.

“Smooth,” Sam said, flashing Dean a pissed off face.

“What?” Dean asked.

Sam just rolled his eyes.

Katrina knocked on Kevin’s door, hoping that he was awake. What time was it even? She knew that it was morning, but that was all. Luckily, there was a voice from the other side of the door, “Come in.”

“Hey… Kevin..” Katrina said as she entered, closing the door behind her.

“Oh, hey Katrina. Good to see you back. Everyone’s been acting super weird the last couple days.”

“Yeah… it’s complicated… What are you doing?” Kevin was sitting at his desk, surrounded by papers. In his hand he held a stone slab, with strange markings on it.

“It’s uh… an angel tablet.” Kevin said, setting it down and running a hand down his face. For the first time, Katrina noticed just how tired he looked. He had large dark circles under his eyes, and his whole demeanor just screamed exhausted. “The word of God.”

“Oh…” Katrina stepped closer, going around and peering over Kevin’s shoulder. “What does it say?”

“Well… that’s what I’m trying to figure out. It says a lot of stuff.”

“What language is it in?” Katrina said, looking closer.

“I don’t know, whatever language God speaks I guess.”

“But you can read it?”

“Yeah.”

“How?” Katrina hoped that Kevin wasn’t too bothered by her questions.

“I’m a prophet. Only prophets can read the tablets.”

“So did you learn how to read it, or you were just born knowing?”

“I guess I was born this way… but my ‘ability’ was unlocked when I was in high school.”

“Wow… I’m sorry…”

Kevin looked up at her, “You’re the first person to say that.”

“What do they usually say…?” Katrina frowned.

“‘That’s cool, read this for me.’”

“Even the Winchesters…?”

“Especially the Winchesters,” Kevin laughed. “But,” he said hurriedly, “don’t let that spoil your opinion of them. They’ve dealt with hunting their whole lives, they don’t really know what to say to people who had their normal lives taken over by all this insanity. Although… I guess you can’t really relate to me in that regard either…”

“Actually… I kinda can.”

“What do you mean?”

And so, Katrina told him her story. It was nice, given that she was telling it to a completely neutral party. She wasn’t explaining herself and trying to prove her innocence, like with Dean. She could just tell her story, and Kevin was listening just for the sake of listening. This was good. Katrina knew that if she had any hopes of really becoming a part of this small, complex family, she would need to find a way to connect with them, one at a time. Dean would probably be the hardest. But she was making good progress.

When she was done, Kevin mulled over what she had said for a minute or so. Then he said, “So, have you decided what to call yourself yet?”

“Huh?”

“If you’re something new, we need to figure out what you’ll be called.”

“Oh… I have no idea… Maybe I should ask Castiel… he made me.”

“Maybe. Or you could think of something yourself. You’re your own person. He’s not above you anymore.”

Katrina shook her head, looking down, “The fact that he’s human doesn’t change anything. He still created me. I’ll always think of him as above me…”

“Whatever works for you I guess,” Kevin shrugged.

“I have one more question…” Katrina said hesitantly.

“Shoot.”

“How did Castiel become human…? Does it have anything to do with what you’re trying to find in the angel tablet?”

“Technically that’s two questions,” Kevin chuckled, “but sort of. From what I heard, Castiel was tricked by another angel into expelling all the angels from heaven and locking the door.  In the end, he stole Castiel’s grace before sending him down to Earth as well. So, Cas has been human ever since. Right now, I’m trying to find if there’s a way we can reverse the spell and open up heaven again.”

Katrina took this all in silently. Now it made sense as to why any angels they ran into were set on killing Castiel. It also explained why he seemed so guilt-ridden all the time.

“Honestly, I kind of envy him.”

Katrina snapped back into attention, “What? Why?”

“Because he just gets to be human now. He doesn’t have to deal with the responsibilities of being an angel anymore. He just gets to quit. I’m going to be a prophet for the rest of my life. No matter what.”

“I don’t think he would agree with you on that…” Katrina said, shaking her head, “I don’t think he feels he’s shed his responsibilities at all, just his ability to carry them out. That probably makes him feel even worse.”

“I guess you’re right,” Kevin said, “But I’d still give anything to lose this prophet business. For once I’d like to be just Kevin. Castiel may feel a bit useless, but Dean has made it clear that he needs him, powers or not. I’m not sure they would extend that sentiment to me.”

Katrina pondered this for a moment, “I want to say ‘of course they would,’ but I don’t really know if that’s true... I haven’t been here long enough to know. But I can tell you now that I would. I’ve never needed you to read some tablet for me. I haven’t ever spoken to a prophet,” she smiled, “just Kevin.”

Kevin grinned back at her, “Thanks.”

“No problem. You’re a good kid.” And he really was a kid, he couldn’t be much older than nineteen. Something in his eyes made him seem so much older though. “Well,” Katrina said, “I’ll let you get back to work. I have something else that I want to do.”

“Alright, see you later.”

Katrina stepped out of his room, closing the door behind her. She took a deep breath and slowly spread out her awareness, easily finding Castiel and the Winchesters. She continued, surprised at the enormity of the bunker. Finally, she came upon an unfamiliar presence. She assumed that this was Crowley. When she tried to fly to his location, she found that it was warded off. That was good sign, at least. So, she flew as close to the warded area as she could. The halls here were significantly darker, and cold. She found the door that lead into the warded room and opened it. She hesitantly stepped inside, wondering if the ward could keep her from walking in as well.

Apparently not.

“What is it the Winchester’s need from me this time?” A british accented voice drawled from the dark. Katrina flipped on the light. In front of her was a wall of tall bookshelves. She assumed there was some sort of secret switch to open them, but she didn’t feel like taking the time to find it. So, with a flick of her wrist she sent the hidden door flying open.

Behind it, there was a table, at which sat a man who was shackled to a chair. There was a bag over his face as well. A large devil’s trap was painted onto the ground around him. Katrina took a step forward.

“Come on, no need to give me the silent treatment,” the man continued, “It isn’t Kevin again is it? Because I’m not really in the mood to play today. Maybe some other day.”

Katrina walked hesitantly into the devil’s trap, taking a step back out of it first to make sure that she wouldn’t be stuck as well. She sighed in relief when she found she could leave it easily.

The man cocked his head, “That doesn’t sound like one of the boys. Who is this?”

Katrina leaned over the table and pulled the bag off of the man’s head. He looked to be in his forties, balding. Although, he could probably be hundreds of years old. She looked exactly as she had two years ago, and she had a feeling she would in fifty as well. The man grimaced at the light, but quickly adjusted, meeting Katrina’s inquiring stare with his own.

“Well…” he murmured, “this is new.”

Katrina said nothing. Now that she was looking at one closely, she could see that there was something different with the demon’s face. It was almost as if his face was slightly opaque. There was something behind it that she just couldn’t see. She concentrated harder, trying to see past it. Suddenly, something shifted, and his face was gone. In its place was another face, made completely of a black substance. It wasn’t quite smoke, but something more ethereal. It was actually… kind of beautiful, but terrifyingly so.

“Are you going to say something, or are you just going to keep staring at me?”

Katrina blinked, leaning away slightly. The man’s human face came back into focus. She placed her palms flat on the table.

“You’re Crowley?” She said.

“Yes. And you are?”

“That’s not important.”

“Oh but it is,” Crowley leaned forward as much as his collar would allow him, “You coming in here is the most interesting thing that’s happened to me since I’ve been locked up in this place. At first I thought you may be an angel, given your wings, but there’s something not quite right.”

“You can see my wings?” Katrina asked pulling them behind her self consciously.

“About as well as you can see my real face,” Crowley said.

“So can you see what color they are?”

Crowley raised his eyebrows, “Not really. Though I assumed that all angel wings were white.”

“Hmm..”

“Is there any particular reason you came down here?”

“I came to see just how well you were locked up.”

“Well, as you can see, I’m pretty restricted.”

“Yes. I suppose you are.” They stared at each other silently for another minute, before Katrina straightened back up, reaching for the bag. “Well… I guess that’s all I need.”

“No, wait,” Crowley protested. “Can’t you leave the bag off? It’s so musty.”

“Nope,” Katrina said.

“Come on! You can’t be done yet. Are you sure there isn’t anything you need to know? Please!”

“Not today,” Katrina slid the bag over his head again, turning around. She flicked the bookshelf closed behind her, ignoring Crowley’s shouting. She turned the lights back off and left.

Katrina made her way back to the dining room, wondering what everyone was up to. The room was empty, but she could hear the TV on in the other room.

She walked in to find all of them sitting together, eyes glued to the TV.

“Hey,” she said, closing the door behind her.

“Hey, we’re having a Lord of the Rings marathon,” Sam said, patting the area next to him on the couch without looking up away from the movie. Katrina sat down next to him.

“Apparently it is a rite of passage of being human,” Castiel said.

“Shh!” Dean shushed them. Castiel clamped his mouth shut.

“This is going to be a nine hour event,” Katrina said, crossing her legs, “And you don’t even have popcorn.”

“Then how about you shutup and get us some,” Dean snapped.

Katrina rolled her eyes, but within seconds there were two large bowls of popcorn. Dean and Castiel shared one while Kevin and Katrina shared the other. Sam, who was in the middle, ate from both bowls.

The next nine hours went by in silence. Interrupted only by the few times a disk change was necessary, and the several times one of the men had to take a bathroom break.

As much as Katrina liked the series, she found that she would rather spend the time observing the humans around her. She had to hold back laughter at the sight of Dean mouthing along to many of the pre-battle speeches, a look of utter concentration on his face. He had caught her staring once and had turned bright red. Castiel was enthralled by it as well. He seemed to react to everything with more enthusiasm than normally expected. Everything was that much more frightening, suspenseful, joy-filled, and sad through his eyes. Sam and Kevin were less interesting, just watching with blank expressions on their faces.

There was once when Sam turned and stared right back at her, and she felt her cheeks heat up. Maybe watching them all was a bit creepy. After that, she kept herself firmly facing towards the screen. Only every once in a while did she throw a side glance to the people around her, making sure not to move her head.

It was odd how easily they seemed to have accepted her back. She wondered if it was because this sort of crazy was just normal for them. It certainly wasn’t normal for her. It was like they had gotten over the realization of her true nature quicker than she had. She couldn’t help but wonder what it meant for her future. And suddenly she wasn’t thinking about the movie or the people around her anymore, but what on earth she was going to do with her life.

Would it last forever? Was she never going to get old and die? It certainly seemed so, given her absolute lack of physical change over the last couple years. And it seemed as if the weapons that killed angels were useless on her. Was she going to have to face forever alone? She knew what she would do, of course, but an eternity of healing and charity seemed so lonely now. She had thought of it before. Certainly. But at first she had had Castiel to face forever with. Even after he had “died,” it never bothered her greatly that she was alone. But now, with Castiel as a human, she would have to watch him grow old and die while she stayed young and went on. Would she even remember his name a thousand years from now?

Would he become like the other Gods? An ancient idea, clung to by believers who could not let go, long after he and all of his original creations had faded away? Would he fade into an idea? So old and fleeting in presence that her memory of him would be reduced to a faint sense of faith to the being that had once created her, no longer an actual man she had known and loved?

No. Of course not. She would always remember Castiel. His gentle blue eyes and deep gravelly voice was not something she could imagine forgetting. At least, she hoped so.

Although, Kevin had said that Castiel’s grace had been stolen from him. Did this mean that it was a tangible substance that could be found again? Maybe Castiel could be an angel once more.

It was with this thought that the last movie finally ended. The Winchesters groaned and stretched around her. Castiel was wiping his eyes, the last scene having tugged at his heartstrings a bit. Katrina could not help but chuckle, endeared. He was still so innocent in so many ways.

“Hey man,” Dean clapped him on the back, “Don’t cry. It’s just a movie.”

“Don’t give him crap,” Sam said, “You cried the first time we watched it too.”

“Yeah well I was like nine.”

“He was fourteen,” Sam whispered to Castiel, who grinned.

“Sorry,” Castiel said, his eyes dry again, “I’m just not used to movies yet. It all feels pretty real.”

“Well don’t worry too much,” Dean smirked, “Sam still cries over books.”

“Hey! The Deathly Hallows was a tragedy!” Sam snapped.

“Oh my God I know,” Katrina agreed, “I cried so hard when Fred died.”

“Nerds,” Dean coughed, rolling his eyes.

“I don’t know why, but watching that movie made me really tired,” Castiel yawned.

“Yeah, movies can do that,” Katrina said.

“Well,” Dean said, looking at his watch, “It’s only ten-thirty. If you guys are going to bed, I’m gunna go check on baby.”

“Baby?” Katrina raised an eyebrow.

“It’s his car,” Sam said.

“Oh.” She supposed it was a pretty nice car… but, baby? Really?

Dean left the room, humming one of the themes from the movie under his breath.

“I’m assuming you’re going to join Cas then?” Sam asked Katrina quietly. There was something accusatory in his voice.

“You assumed correctly,” Katrina said defensively.

“Well, goodnight then.”

“Night.”

She followed Castiel out of the room.

* * *

Dean was wiping down the windows of his car when he heard Sam come in behind him. He knew it was going to be to talk about something. Sam rarely ventured into the garage otherwise.

“What sappy crap have you come to spew at me now?” Dean said before Sam could even open his mouth.

“It’s not sappy,” Sam shook his head, “It’s about Katrina and Castiel.”

“What about ‘em?”

“I think they like each other.”

“...so?”

“Like, like like each other.”

“Yeah Sam I’m not stupid,” Dean snapped, “I know what you mean. But I don’t see why that’s relevant.”

“Well at first I thought it was just Katrina, since she’s been following him around with big smitten eyes this whole time. Her crush is as clear as daylight. But now I’m starting to think that the feelings are returned.”

“Is there a point you’re trying to make Sam?”

“Well…” Sam shifted awkwardly, “Aren’t you going to do something about it…?”

“What?” Dean turned around to face him.

“You know, before it’s too late?”

“Too late? What the hell are you talking about?”

“Dean…”

“Really Sam, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Sam rolled his eyes, “I swear to God you are so stubborn.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

* * *

Castiel clenched his balled up shirt in his hands as he stood nervously with his back to Katrina. Her eyes were not on him; she was being far too polite for that. She hadn’t said a word yet, and he could feel anxiety rolling off of her in waves.

“Katrina?” He asked, still not turning around.

“Yeah?”

He had to spit it out now. If he didn’t work up the courage to confront her now, he probably never would.

“You kissed me.”

“I know… I was there…” Katrina let out a nervous giggle in spite of herself. However, she saw Castiel tense at her joke. “Sorry, I make dumb jokes when I’m nervous… It’s not that I’m not taking whatever you have to say seriously.”

Castiel nodded.

“You kissed me. And then you left. And I was very… confused.”

“I’m sorry…”

Castiel finally turned to face her. She was looking at him like a child who was about to be scolded.

“I’m not angry… just confused. Like I said.”

“About what?”

Castiel snorted, “Many things. I had a lot of questions… but you vanished before I could ask any.”

“I know… I’m sorry.”

Irritation flashed within him, “Why? Why did you?”

Katrina look down, clasping her hands together tightly, “I thought that it would be best if you answered some of those questions for yourself. I wanted to give you time to think.”

“Alright… I’ve had time to think… Can you answer some of my questions now?”

“If you want.”

“Did you kiss me because you have feelings for me, or are you just attracted to me? Or, did you do it just so that I would be confused?”

Katrina’s mouth gaped open in surprise, “You think I just did it to mess with your head?” She asked incredulously.

“I don’t know… did you?” Castiel could feel his face heating up.

“No…” Katrina frowned, “Of course not.”

“So… the other two then..?”

“Both.”

“What?”

“Both. I’m attracted to you, and I have feelings for you.”

“Oh.” Castiel’s heart did a strange leap. He fidgeted with his shirt some more, suddenly wishing he had put another one before starting this conversation. All of his exposed skin seemed to be burning under her gaze.

“Castiel. Can you please say something? You’re not the only one who’s been left hanging these last few days. What are you thinking?”

“I don’t know… it’s like my brain has stopped functioning.”

“Alright… what else are you feeling?”

“I don’t know.”

“Just list observations. Don’t try to think about the diagnosis, look at your symptoms.”

“I feel a bit sick.”

Katrina grimaced, “Not exactly what I was hoping for, but continue.”

“I... keep getting these weird feelings in my chest. Like there’s a bird trapped in there,” Words started to pour from Castiel’s mouth like a fountain, “And my mouth is dry, and my hands are sweaty, and sometimes when I look at you I feel like I can’t stop and when I think about you kissing me my heart starts pounding very fast and when you fainted after saving me I was so scared that I could barely see straight and when you were gone it hurt like a physical wound and you just make me so confused and right now it feels like my skin is on fire I don’t know what it means or what to do all I know is I want it to stop.”

Katrina smiled warmly at him. “Well, I don’t know if I can help you make it stop… but I think these are good signs.”

“Good meaning...?”

“That maybe my feelings aren’t unreturned…”

“How can you know? How on earth could this feeling in my stomach mean something? Aren’t people just supposed to know?”

“Unfortunately it’s not all that simple. Especially not for the first time. It’s confusing for everyone.”

“Have you felt this way before?”

“Definitely.”

“Humanity is messy.”

“I know.”

“I don’t feel much better. I’m still confused.”

“Well, let’s see,” Katrina crossed the room to him, taking his hand in hers and interlocking their fingers. “Good?”

Castiel nodded, squeezing back gently, “Good.”

“Alright,” Katrina slid her hand up his arm, his shoulder, his neck, and onto his face, cupping his jawline and running her thumb across his cheek. “Good?”

Castiel closed his eyes, letting out a deep sigh, “Good…”

Katrina moved her hand to the back of his neck and pulled his face closer to hers, lingering just as their noses touched. She hovered over his lips, hesitating. “Good…?” she murmured.

“I-I’m not sure…” Castiel stuttered.

“Well… what is your first instinct right now…?” Katrina whispered, “Closer? Or farther?”

“I…”

“Just follow your instincts…” Katrina let her lips brush over Castiel’s just the slightest bit.

A gasp escaped from Castiel’s lips, and the next thing he knew he was crushing them against hers. His arms wrapped tight around her, pulling her against him. He could feel her surprise, but all he could think about was her lips on his and her hands on his chest, hotter than fire. Katrina’s hands found their way into his hair, her fingers curling into it.

When he finally broke away for breath, his heart was pounding loudly in his head.

“Well… I have to say, I wasn’t expecting that,” Katrina said softly. Her lips were pink and bit swollen.

“I don’t think I was either,” Castiel replied breathlessly.

“So…” Katrina said expectantly. “Good?”

Castiel chuckled, “Good…”

Katrina licked her lips, cocking her head to the side. “Vanilla?”

“Dean bought me chapstick when we went shopping.”

“It’s nice.”

“Thank you.”

“So you’ve never really kissed anyone before?”

“I have once… but I didn’t really feel much. I was an angel then, and things were… different. Being human is very different. Everything just seems so much… louder.”

“You’re a virgin then?”

Castiel blushed, looking away, “Yes.” He wondered if she would react with the same distaste as Dean.

“Would you like to change that?”

Castiel paled, “That was a bit forward of you.”

Katrina sighed, “Castiel, this may be new to you, but I’m not some awkward blushing teenager. I’m a grown woman, with plenty of experience. I don’t need to beat around the bush or wait whatever allotted time will deem me not a slut. This isn’t high school. Thank God.”

“I don’t know much about high school… but I guess you’re right.”

“Is that a yes then?”

“I think so… I suppose it’s about time I learn what all the fuss is about.” Maybe now Dean would stop ridiculing him.

“You’re sure you want to? We could wait.”

“I’m sure.”

“Well then, right this way sir,” she grinned. Castiel let her take his wrist and lead him towards the bed.

* * *

“Good?”

_“Good.”_


	7. Experiments

Dean watched Castiel walk around the kitchen, perplexed. The ex-angel seemed to be in a very good mood. There was a sort of bounce in his step, and every once in a while he would just stop what he was doing and stare out into space, a grin creeping onto his face. It was when Castiel started humming that he finally couldn’t keep quiet any longer.

“Okay man, I gotta ask. What in the hell has got you in such a good mood?”

“Hmm?” Castiel broke out of his thoughts, “Oh, nothing.”

“Nothing? Come on Cas, I haven’t seen you smile this much since you were a loon.”

“Really… It’s nothing. I just took your advice; livin’ a little.” He winked conspiratorially, confusing Dean even further. This was not normal Cas behavior.

“Dude. Just quit talking in riddles and tell me what’s up.”

“I would think that you would remember our conversations a bit better Dean, I’m hurt.”

“Cas!”

“Okay fine.” Castiel got closer, his voice dropping to a scheme-like tone. “Remember when we were in the car, and you said, ‘Come on Cas! Live a little! Get drunk! Get laid….?’” He drew out the last word, giving Dean a smug look.

“You got laid…?” Dean said disbelievingly.

“Yep,” Castiel smirked with self-pride.

“With Katrina??” It finally seemed to click for Dean just what Cas was saying. Never had he actually expected Castiel to take his advice.

“No. With Kevin,” Castiel rolled his eyes. Of course now Castiel was getting the hang of sarcasm.

“Why would you sleep with her??”

“I’m confused… I thought you said that sexual intercourse was a necessity of humanity?”

“Well yeah, but I meant that you should have random, meaningless sex. Not with Katrina!”

Castiel frowned, “Are you saying that sex is only enjoyable when it holds no emotional value?”

“No,” Dean said, frustrated, “it’s just that this is different. It wasn’t just sex. It’s got attachments and consequences. You don’t just get to say, ‘Oh yeah that was fun, let’s never see each other again.’ You’re gunna have to see her every day for who knows how long, and you’re probably gunna have to talk about feelings and what you ‘are’ and all that shit.”

Castiel was smiling again, like there was some huge thing that Dean was missing, like he was a naive child.

“Dean… Contrary to how you might look at such things, I don’t mind being ‘attached’ to Katrina. I want to see her every day for who knows how long. Sleeping with random women with no emotional strings or responsibilities may be your style, but it’s not mine. I’m not nearly as scared of talking about how I feel as you are.” He paused, sighing, content. “I really like Katrina. And sex was… great,” he grinned. But it faded slowly. “I had expected you to be happy for me, since you were the one who suggested it in the first place. But I should have realized, it’s nearly impossible to make you happy.” He started to leave the kitchen, breakfast in hand.

“Cas no, wait,” Dean protested weakly, “I didn’t mean to-” But Castiel was already gone.

“Damnit.”

* * *

Katrina peered around the storage room as Sam rummaged around the many shelves, his arms full of different containers.

“So why do we need all this stuff?” Katrina asked.

“I figured it’d be best if we figured out what kind of things you’re vulnerable to.”

“Why? You don’t think you’ll have to take me out at some point, do you…?” Katrina said hesitantly. Honestly the idea of exposing her weaknesses to anyone didn’t sound very safe.

“No, I just think that it’d be good to know what we need to look out for, if anything at all. So we won’t always have to worry about whether or not a certain weapon might put you in danger. It’s good to know when planning strategies.”

“You know what I think?”

“What do you think?” Sam said absentmindedly.

“I think you’re just a huge nerd, and that you love the idea of conducting an experiment on me,” Katrina smirked.

Sam turned to look at her, his eyebrow quirked up, “You may be right. I do like experiments,” He winked before turning back to the shelf.

Katrina’s smirk was wiped from her face immediately, and she began to stutter. “I-I didn’t mean that kind of-”

Sam chuckled, “I didn’t say anything… Although that’d be interesting as well. I always wondered if angels still… functioned properly.”

Katrina’s cheeks grew red, “I’ll have you know that everything is completely functional,” she snapped, flustered.

“Really now?”

“Really!” Katrina was growing frustrated now. It was like Sam had managed to find a way to be forward and flirtatious yet insulting at the same time.

“And when exactly have you tested this?”

“Last night!” Katrina let her tongue slip, before covering her mouth quickly. But it was too late, she had already said it. She had no idea whether Castiel wanted to keep it a secret or not. She really hoped that he wouldn’t get angry.

Sam was quiet now.

“Uh…” Katrina said awkwardly.

“Sorry,” Sam said suddenly, as if he had simply bumped into her in the hall, “I didn’t know. I’ll uh, tone it down a bit.”

“It’s alright…” Katrina nearly whispered.

“I think I have everything we need. Let’s go.”

Katrina nodded and followed him out of the room. She was kind of surprised that Sam was going to stop flirting with her now. She supposed she simply thought that he was so forward that he wouldn’t care if she was with someone else. But he had respected it, and frankly she was impressed.

They found Castiel in the main room, drinking coffee, deep in thought.

“Ah, there you are,” he said, looking up as they came in.

“Sam is going to do some tests…” Katrina said, “We’re going to see if I really am invincible or not.”

“That sounds like a good idea, do you mind if I join you?” Castiel stood.

“Sure, I’ll just go get Dean first. And then I think we’ll use one of the empty rooms. I wouldn’t want to make a mess in here.”

Katrina swallowed nervously at the word mess. She really hoped that it wouldn’t be pieces of her that made it.

“Right,” Castiel’s face fell a bit.

Katrina stood by him as Sam went towards the kitchen.

“Is everything okay?” She asked, putting a hand on his arm.

“Yes…”

“You’re a terrible liar. What happened?”

Castiel looked up at her reluctantly, “I told Dean about us… He wasn’t happy.”

“Why not?” Katrina frowned.

“He said that he preferred that I only have one-night stands with women whom I don’t know.”

“What?” Katrina said incredulously, “Why the hell would he say that?”

“Dean… has a strange view on relationships and sex.”

“I guess so…”

“I just don’t like it when Dean is upset with me…” Castiel hung his head.

“I know,” Katrina sighed, pulling him close for a hug. Castiel relaxed, resting his head on her shoulder.

Katrina still couldn’t understand why Castiel always seemed to thirst for Dean’s approval, but she had learned to accept it. When Castiel lifted his head, Katrina gave him a reassuring kiss. She could feel him smile into it before she pulled away. Castiel’s face suggested protest but she shushed him before he could say anything.

“Sam and Dean will be back soon, we’ve got work to do.”

“Right,” he sighed. “How are you feeling about that anyways? Are you sure you want to do it?”

“Not really, but I suppose it’s necessary. Sam made some good points.”

“But you’re nervous.”

“A little,” Katrina nodded, “But I don’t think Sam will really hurt me, and I’m sure you’ll stop them if they start crossing the line.”

“Of course.”

Soon, Katrina found herself strapped to a chair as the Winchesters fiddled with different substances, talking to each other in low tones.

“I still don’t see why tying her up was necessary,” Castiel said angrily.

“It’s just precautionary. This way, we can keep her still so that we don’t accidentally seriously hurt her.”

“She could easily snap through those bonds…” Castiel muttered, “They won’t do much.”

“Actually, she can’t,” Dean said matter-of-factly, “These are fancy leather straps that can only be undone or cut by a human. These Men of Letters were pretty handy with that kind of stuff.Her powers won’t work either.”

“He’s right…” Katrina agreed, “I can’t break them.” She strained against them to prove her point. They didn’t budge.

This didn’t make Castiel feel any better though. “The moment she expresses any wish to stop, I will cut her free. Period.”

“That won’t be necessary Cas,” Sam said reassuringly, “We’ll untie her if she wants us to,” he turned to Katrina, “You trust us, right?”

“I do,” Katrina nodded, trying to push down the uneasiness swelling within her.

“Alright, we’ll start with the simple stuff,” Dean pulled out a bottle with a cross on it.

“She’s immune to holy water,” Sam said, “I already saw that on that day we went into town.”

“We’re just gunna test everything,” Dean unscrewed the cap, “Just for the sake of science.”

Sam raised his eyebrow disbelievingly but said nothing.

Dean splashed the water into Katrina’s face, causing both Sam and Castiel to jump forward.

Katrina spluttered, “What the hell?”

“Yeah Dean! What the hell was that??” Sam demanded angrily.

“If she hadn’t been immune, that could have seriously hurt her!” Castiel added.

“Sorry, but I’m just treating her like any other person we had to check for demonic presence,” Dean shrugged.

“But she’s not just any person!” Castiel yelled, “She is our friend and she has agreed to let us do these tests on her, not treat her like a prisoner or one of you torture subjects!”

Sam’s eyes widened in surprise and Castiel bit his lip, realizing what he had just said. Dean flinched, his mouth turning into a tight thin line.

Katrina didn’t know exactly what story was behind that comment, but she could tell that it had hit really close to home as Dean turned away and took a step.

“Dean…” Castiel started regretfully.

“You’re right. Sam. You keep going. I’ll watch.”

Sam nodded silently and went for the next item. Before continuing though, he wiped the water off Katrina’s face with his sleeve.

“This is silver,” he said to her as he showed her the small knife in his hand, “I’m just gunna make a quick little cut on your hand to see if it burns, okay?”

“Alright.” Gratitude shone in Katrina’s eyes at his gentleness before she closed them in preparation.

Sam quickly made a small incision on her palm, looking at her expectantly.

“Anything?”

“Nope,” Katrina sighed.

They repeated this process with the demon blade, the angel blade, salt, dead man’s blood, holy fire and a number of other things. So far, the angel blade had only hurt a bit.

“Like when I was human and I accidentally cut myself on something and had to clean it. The way the soap burns, you know? No burning explosion of pain and light or anything like the angels though,” she had described it.

“Okay,” Sam said, pulling out a tub of industrial cleaner.

“What? Are you going to clean me to death?” Katrina scoffed.

“Well, if your power came from the souls of purgatory, and the Leviathan, it would make sense that you were vulnerable to that same things as them. And things with Borax in them burned them like acid.”

“Okay, hit me,” Katrina shrugged. Her nervousness had almost completely died down as they had tried thing after thing with little to no result.

Sam filled up the cap of the container before pouring it onto Katrina’s hand.

The scream that tore from her throat surprised her as much as the rest of them. The burning was like something she had never experienced. It was nothing short of excruciating. There was enough to cover almost her entire hand, dripping out over the sides.

“Get it off! Get it off!” she cried out shrilly. Katrina’s hand was sizzling, her skin peeling.

Sam panicked, realizing that he should have thought to bring something to wash stuff like this off.

“Please!” Katrina begged, tears starting to stream down her face.

Sam took off his overshirt and began frantically wiping off her hand, grimacing as bits of skin came off with it.

Castiel suddenly appeared next to them, a bottle of water in hand. He quickly dumped it over Katrina’s hand. Katrina let out a long sigh of relief as the burning suddenly subsided.

“Thank you…” she whispered as Castiel started to unbuckle her restraints. She practically leapt out of the chair once she was free. Falling to her knees, her breath ragged, she looked at her hand. She was almost surprised to see that there wasn’t a hole burned straight through it. Instead her skin look as if it had been peeled back, showing the flesh beneath. But, it was quickly mending, and it wasn’t long before it was nothing but an angry patch of red, irritated skin.

“Are you alright?” Castiel asked, kneeling beside her.

“Yeah… I’m fine. It’s been a while since I’ve really felt pain... And that was just so bad…” she shuddered.

“Well, it was certainly educational,” Sam joked half-heartedly, trying to lighten the mood.

“We can probably assume that cutting her head off will have the same effect as a Leviathan too,” Dean said, speaking up for the first time since he had let Sam take over.

Katrina flinched, “No-” she choked out. There was no way she would let them cut of her head. No way. She didn’t care if she survived. That was something she never wanted to experience.

“Don’t worry,” Castiel reassured her, “we aren’t going to decapitate you,” he shot an angry look at Dean, “We’re done here.”

Katrina imagined what would have happened if Dean hadn’t handed Sam the reigns. He probably would have thrown the substance right into her face. She felt as if she was going to be sick at the thought.

Suddenly, Kevin came bursting into the room.

“Is everything alright?? I heard screaming,” he panted.

“Yeah… everything’s fine,” Katrina said, standing up.

“Are you sure?” Kevin asked hesitantly, eyeing Katrina’s shaky stance.

“Yeah…” Katrina offered a weak smile.

“We were just trying to sort something out,” Dean interrupted. “We’re done now though.”

“I think I’m going to go outside for a bit,” Katrina said, “I need some fresh air.”

“I’ll come with you,” Castiel stepped closer to her.

“No, I think I’d like to go alone.”

“Alright.” Katrina flew away before anyone else could say anything.

“I can’t believe you brought up decapitation Dean,” Sam said incredulously.

“Hey, I was just being honest,” Dean shrugged, “Although I didn’t say one thing. It was kinda weird how badly the borax seemed to affect her. With most Leviathan, it just seems to hurt enough to slow them down for a bit. They yelled some, but not nearly as badly as her screaming. You’d think we had been bathing her in it.”

“You’re right,” Sam nodded, “I wonder why that is.”

“Well,” Castiel said thoughtfully, “The Leviathan were very very strong and very very old. Katrina may be strong compared to us, but not to the Leviathan. She is not omnipotent. We may have mistaken her as such because we couldn’t find anything that could hold her back before this. There probably are traps and sigils that would work on her, we just don’t know them yet. The fact that those straps held her in prove that her makeup isn’t something completely unique.”

“So can you explain exactly what keeps creatures that aren’t human from undoing them?” Sam asked, genuinely interested.

Castiel pondered this for a moment, “Well, the best way to look at it, is the concept that all creatures are made of a series of codes. It is how I made Katrina; not with just some concept of grace and light, but with equations and numbers. It’s all basically math. I had the power source, and with that I put it in the form of what were basically numerical instructions. Now, of course, there are some parts of the coding that are shared among species, like the section that allows both angels and demons to occupy humans. It’s like the way that humans and bananas share certain gene patterns. So, things like devil’s traps are designed to keep in the specific code for demons, and only a creature with the exact code of a human can undo things like the straps on that chair.”

Sam nodded thoughtfully. Honestly, it made him feel more comfortable that there was a sense of logic to all of this, a handhold of sorts in the insanity that was their life. Somehow the fact that there was math and science involved, made monster hunting a bit less strange.

Just a bit.

* * *

Katrina sat on the roof of the building on top of the bunker. The sun was getting close to reaching it’s peak in the sky, warming the wet trees and ground. The heat wasn’t at all uncomfortable, its contrast to the cool air was soothing. Birds sang nearby as the wind rustled through the trees. All in all, it was almost like a scene from a fairy tale, excluding the abandoned building that she was perched on, but Katrina was too deep in thought to appreciate the scene.

The memory of the pain played over and over again in her head. She rubbed her hand absentmindedly.

Of course she had known that she wasn’t human, that was obvious. But for some reason it never really hit her like it had in that room. Up until now she just felt like a human that acquired superpowers or something. Now, however, she realized just how inhuman she was. She was a completely separate creature, new and alone. Completely alone.

She was going to live forever, unless she was killed.

Now, so would angels and demons, but it wasn’t as if she could just join their clans or something. She doubted that any of them would ever accept her as their own. And honestly, she wasn’t sure if she wanted them to, from what she’d seen of them. The only hope she had now was finding a way to get Castiel’s grace back.

And she didn’t even know where to start.

She didn’t know how he had lost it or who had taken it. She didn’t even know if it was retrievable. Was it something physical?

She groaned, putting her face in her hands.

Who knows how long it would take? Of course, she had all the time in the world. But Castiel didn’t. Suddenly forty years seemed like a short time, now compared to an eternity.

She was so deep in thought that she didn’t notice the car coming down the road until it was a quarter of a mile away. Her head perked up. Perhaps someone was lost? Cars rarely drove along this back road. But sure enough, when the car got closer, it pulled in front of the bunker door. Katrina tensed, ready to defend the bunker against whatever was in that car.

What came out, however, was a red-headed girl. From what Katrina could tell, she was just a human. The girl seemed to know where she was going, as she started towards the door with hesitation.

Katrina made a split second decision and flew right in front of the girl as she neared it.

The girl jumped in surprise, her limbs flailing in some awkward attempt at self defence. Katrina quirked an eyebrow. When the girl seemed to realize that she wasn’t under attack, she stilled.

“Uh… hi,” she said.

“Who are you?” Katrina asked. The girl certainly did not seem like a threat now.

“I’m Charlie,” the girl smiled nervously, “The Winchesters’ contracted nerd,” she made some hand gesture that Katrina recognized from Star Trek. “And you are…?” she continued.

“I’m Katrina,” she replied, still looking the girl up and down, getting a read on her, “The Winchesters’ contracted freak of nature.”

“Oh…” Charlie nodded. “So… can I come in?”

“Can I just check something first? To be safe?”

“Uh… I guess?”

Katrina put a hand on Charlie’s head, who flinched.

“It won’t hurt.”

Katrina closed her eyes and delved into Charlie’s mind. Seeking out memories of the Winchesters. Scenes of hugs and working cases together flashed before Katrina’s eyes.

She let go, sighing.

“That was weird…” Charlie said, “It kinda tickled.”

“You’re good.”

“Oh, great,” She grinned. She went towards the door again. Katrina rolled her eyes.

“Here, we’ll go my way. It’s quicker.” She grabbed Charlie’s arm and flew them into the main room of the bunker.

“Woah,” Charlie stumbled when they landed, “give a girl some warning.”

“Sorry.”

“Charlie?” Sam straightened up from behind one of the shelves, book in hand.

“Hey Sam,” Charlie strode towards him before giving him a tight hug. Sam smiled down at her.

“Where’s Dean?”

“He’s talking with Cas.”

Charlie’s eyes widened with excitement, “Cas? As in, Castiel? As in, the Castiel?”

“Yep,” Sam chuckled.

“Finally! I’ve been waiting to meet him for forever. After reading so much about him-”

“Reading?” Katrina interrupted, “What do you mean?”

“Don-” Sam started.

“There’s a book series about their lives,” Charlie said loudly over him.

“There’s what??” Katrina asked incredulously.

Sam went to cover Charlie’s mouth, but she bit him and scampered away from his grasp and behind Katrina. Sam went to go after her, but stopped when Katrina held up her hand. He eyed her warily, realizing that there was no way he would stand a chance against her.

“What’s it called?” Katrina asked curiously.

“Supernatural,” Charlie grinned mischievously, “By Carver Edlund.”

Sam groaned, running a hand over his face.

“Hmm… I may have to check that out…” Katrina murmured.

Before Sam could protest, Dean and Castiel entered the room.

“Dean!” Charlie exclaimed happily, running over to him and jumping into his arms.

“Charlie? What are you doing here?” Dean said, hugging her with an affection that surprised Katrina.

“To be honest, a lot of weird stuff was going on basically everywhere I turned, and I figured the safest thing would be to come here.”

“Is it really that bad?” Castiel asked, his voice pained.

Charlie broke away, her face bright with glee, as if she had forgotten in those few seconds that Castiel had been standing right next to her.

“Oh, Hi Castiel,” she grinned giddily, holding out a hand, “I’m Charlie. I’ve heard all about you, I’m a big fan.”

“It’s nice to meet you… although I don’t understand the comparison you made of yourself to an air cooling device…”  
Charlie giggled, “Oh God, he really is just like Spock, isn’t he?”

“And you seem to enjoy speaking in riddles.”

“Sorry, I’ll try to keep it simple,” Charlie said quickly, “I’m just really excited to finally meet you.” She started to look back and forward between him and Dean, her eyes sparkling with excitement and expectancy.

Dean rolled his eyes and stepped away from her.

“You okay Kat?” He asked gruffly, surprising Katrina.

“Yeah,” she said, slightly taken aback at his nickname. It wasn’t derogatory in any way. It kinda felt like “Cas.” Obviously, it didn’t hold the same meaning, but it was a term of endearment none the less.

“Can I uh, talk to you?”

“Sure.”

When they stepped off into another room, Dean sighed, running his hands through his hair.

“Alright,” he started, “I know I already apologized for being a dick, and you probably expected me to at least follow through and stop being such an asshole.”

“I didn’t really expect anything Dean… An apology doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to change your ways immediately. I figured it would take time for you to get used to me.”

“Yeah, I’m not really the cuddly type or anything… Feelings and hugging and stuff just isn’t my thing. I’ve got my issues. A lot of them. I should’ve known better than to pick up that holy water, given my history. If I had continued, and had gotten to the borax myself…” His voice broke slightly, and Katrina could tell that it wasn’t necessarily the idea of her being hurt that was upsetting him, but the idea that he could have hurt someone. She wondered what it was exactly that Dean had done in the past that haunted him so badly.

“I’m gunna have to get that book…” she murmured to herself.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

Dean raised an eyebrow.

“You know what I think Dean?”

“What?”

“I think you are the cuddly type, you just don’t let anyone close enough to see it except every once in a while. The people who are close to you see flashes of it. I think it’s why Castiel is so afraid of you being mad at him… It really gets to him. You must make it worth it when you’re happy with him. He has to have something to miss.”

Dean stared at her, seeming lost for words.

“So, you can just keep on being your grumpy self, I’ll understand. And I’ll just keep sassing you back,” she grinned, “I’m just glad that you at least recognize how you’re coming across, and that you’re trying to make it clear that you don’t actually hate me. Because for a second, I thought you did.”

“No… I don’t hate you…” Dean said, looking back at the ground, “Thanks…”

“Okay, now let’s stop this, I’m getting just as uncomfortable as you with all this touchy feely stuff, I’m just better at being less obvious about it.”

When they returned, they found Charlie drilling questions into Castiel. Kevin had joined them. Katrina went and sat in the seat between Castiel and Sam, while Dean sat across from them next to Kevin.

“So was Anna as hot as she sounded?”

Castiel’s nose wrinkled a bit, “I don’t know, I didn’t really have an understanding of physical attractiveness back then, but I think it’s a bit distasteful of you to speak of her that way, seeing that she has passed.”

Charlie’s face reddened a bit, “Right. Sorry. Sometimes it’s hard to remember the reality of all of this.”

“It’s forgiven,” Castiel said, obviously tiring of this interrogation of sorts. Or maybe not so obvious, because Charlie had already barreled into the next question.

“Can angels possess animals? Or demons for that matter? I feel like that would be a great idea because no one would ever pay attention to you if you were a cat or-”

“Charlie,” Dean said sternly, “Enough with the inquisition. You’re driving Cas up a wall.”

“I wouldn’t say up a wall…” Castiel said quietly, as Charlie began to apologize, flustered.

Charlie’s question got Katrina thinking though.

“Castiel?” Charlie shut her mouth abruptly when Katrina spoke, “Do you think I could possess someone?”

“I don’t know…” Castiel answered thoughtfully.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Words began pouring out of Charlie’s mouth again, “What are you anyways? What did you mean by ‘freak of nature’?”

“Isn’t it in the books?” Though, Katrina supposed it wasn’t, or Charlie would have known who she was before.

“Nope.”

“Well then, I guess I wasn’t important enough to be written about,” Katrina huffed.

“Wait,” Dean said, holding up a finger, “You know about the books?”

“Yep, I’m probably gunna pick them up sometime this week.”

“No way. Absolutely not.”

“Right, okay Dad.” Katrina rolled her eyes.

“If I see one of those books in my bunker. I’m burning it.”

“Challenge accepted,” she smirked at Dean, who was fuming.

“Okay, okay,” Sam said, “Back to the original subject.”

“Yes Sam, you’re right,” Castiel agreed, “I don’t know if Katrina could possess someone, because she is not technically possessing her body right now. If she could leave it, it would just be a completely empty shell. Also, I don’t know if she would need permission, because even though she may be an angel-type being, she is still powered by purgatorian force. Honestly the idea is very fascinating and the only way we could find out is by trying.”

“I am soooo lost…” Charlie said in a sing-song voice.

“I’ll tell you later,” Dean said, “If you’re staying, that is.”

“Yeah, I think I will, at least until I find a safer place to stay.”

“She could try possessing me,” Sam piped up.

Everyone’s head spun to face him in a chorus of “What?”

Sam shifted awkwardly, “I don’t know, just a suggestion.”

“Well it’d be interesting to feel what it’s like to be a giant…” Katrina joked.

“What if something goes wrong? What if she gets stuck?” Dean demanded.

“I doubt that would happen Dean,” Castiel sighed, “It would either work, or it wouldn’t. It wouldn’t work halfway.”

“Well why don’t you let her possess you?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Katrina answered before Castiel could.

“Why not?”

“I don’t know… I just feel like… it would upset some sort of balance… in our relationship…” Katrina said slowly, realizing that honestly it didn’t make a difference more than what her personal preference was. She could deal with being in Sam’s head. She felt like being in Castiel’s would be crossing a line. “It’d be awkward…”

“Relationship?” Charlie’s eyes seemed to bug out of her head. She turned to stare at Dean.

“Regardless of that,” Castiel interrupted, “I think it would be best if I were able to walk her through the process. It would be hard to do that while being a part of it. I need to be able to observe from the outside, on the off chance that something does go wrong.”

“Dean, I volunteered, it’s fine.” Sam said, “Besides, maybe while she’s in there she could help fix me up from the trials.”

Dean glared at Sam, but his resistance was fading quickly, “Fine.”

“We may as well get it done now… so we can get all of these tests over with,” Katrina sighed. And she really was ready to be done with it. She felt like some sort of weird science experiment. Like an animal at the zoo, while the humans around her knocked on the glass. She felt the burning need to get Castiel’s grace back flare up in her.  

“Why are you doing this?” Katrina murmured to Sam quietly.

“I don’t know… I guess I just feel bad for the borax thing… and then there’s the thing with the trials. I trust you. Besides, you’ve already kinda been in my head before, so hopefully that’ll make it easier. Just try not to dig too much in there, okay?”

“I’ll do my best not to let my curiosity get the better of me.”

“Alright, quit whispering you two, and let’s get this over with,” Dean said.

“You’ll want to keep sitting,” Castiel said, “But you should face your chairs towards each other.”

“This is gunna be so awesome,” Charlie chirped.

Castiel stood next to Katrina, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Do you remember when I first taught you to fly long distances?”

“Yes.”

“Well, this is going to be sort of like that. I need you to find Sam’s soul, and let your own go to it. That’s the best way I can explain it.”  
“Sounds… intimate…” Katrina frowned. She remembered how it felt to have Castiel’s soul touch hers, this was probably going to be even more overwhelming.

“It can be, but in a pure way. It’s complicated. You’ll understand better once you’re done. If this works at all.”

“Alright,” Katrina sighed. She closed her eyes and let her awareness find Sam’s light. That was how she thought of life-forms that registered on her radar, like small orbs of soft light. Something was off about his light though, it flickered and wavered. She closed in on it, brushing against it. She heard Sam gasp.

“Sorry,” she murmured.

“Focus Katrina.”

“Right.”  
Instead of spreading her awareness as she usually did, she tried to focus it all on Sam. She focused on the warm glow of his soul until she could no longer feel Castiel’s hand on her shoulder. Once again she marveled at how she could feel his personality, that it was a physical sensation. It wasn’t just all souls, Sam’s felt entirely different than Castiel’s. As unique as a fingerprint. And just like she had guessed, he felt inherently good. Unsure and a bit broken-hearted, but good. She smiled, letting the warmth envelope her until she was unaware of anything except him. Was she smiling though? She couldn’t tell. She couldn’t even feel her own face. She couldn’t feel anything… except. Yes, she could feel now. Sensations were rushing in on her all at once. She could feel the chair beneath her and she could hear talking around her. But… something was different.

Her eyes blinked open to see… herself, limp in the chair in front of her. But if she was there… that meant.

“Oh my god,” She said, looking down at herself, “I did it.” Her voice was deep, and she felt huge. She laughed giddily, “I’m a giant.”

“That… is weird,” Dean said, staring at her.

“It took a while, isn’t it usually quicker than that?” Kevin piped up.

“Well, I didn’t really know what I was doing…” Katrina defended herself.

“Yes, it’s always hardest the first time, there isn’t really much of a process after that though,” Castiel said, “like ‘riding a bike’ or so I’m told.”

Katrina stood, marvelling at how far up she was. She went over and examined her empty body.

“Huh…” she muttered, stooping down and holding her own chin between her fingers and tilting her face towards her, “This is bizarre.” It was weird to see herself from a different perspective. Her face was completely different now that it wasn’t a mirror image. And God, she always knew that she wasn’t very busty but right now she looked nearly flat chested. “I look so tiny.” She picked up a few strands of her hair, feeling them with new fingers. It was soft. That was something good at least.

“Okay so I know you’re technically looking at your own body,” Charlie said, “But from Sam’s body it’s looking pretty creepy.”

“Right,” Katrina straightened up, “Sorry.”

She looked around, her gaze stopping at Castiel. He was looking at her like an alien or something.

“Hey,” she grinned at him, winking. Castiel turned bright red.

“Okay, I take back what I said earlier,” Dean said loudly, “That was weird.”

Katrina couldn’t help but laugh, marvelling at the deeper tones that echoed out of her chest.

“This is so cool,” she gushed, “Look at how big I am,” she flexed her arms, “and muscular. The hair however,” she ran her fingers through it, flipping it in a very feminine manner, “is basically the same.” She giggled.

“Alright if I have to hear my brother giggle like a school-girl one more time I’m gunna lose it,” Dean said sternly.

“Right,” Katrina pulled a serious face, “So where is Sam right now then?”

“He’s in there with you somewhere,” Castiel said, “He’s just been pushed back a bit.”

“Huh,” Katrina bit her lip.

Sam? You in there?

No response.

Sam?

She felt something stir.

Yeah, I’m right here.

You okay? What’s it like with me in here?

I’m good. I can still hear and see everything… I just can’t move. And my hair isn’t that long.

Katrina laughed, It’s pretty long

Whatever. Can you get out now? This is weird. A small afterthought that obviously wasn’t meant as a direct communication, but was heard by Katrina anyways came,  Even if it’s not as bad as Lucifer.

Lucifer? As in Satan??

Yeah, it’s a long story. Katrina rolled her eyes, everything seemed to be a long story.

You’re pretty buff, how often do you work out? Is that a six pack I feel?

Katrina felt herself blush in response, which was weird. It looked like Sam could still control some aspects of his own body.

Often enough I guess.

I’m resisting the urge to take your shirt off and look.

Who’s being forward and flirtatious now?

It’s not like that, I’m just curious.

Liar.

Hush you. I could always look through your memories and find out myself.

Don’t.

You’re such a spoilsport. Maybe you’re compensating for something.

As if.

Hmm….

That’s it. Out. Now.

Fine. It’s too weird anyways. I feel like I’m going to take a step and destroy a city. Godzilla.

Make all the jokes you want, it’s not my fault you’re a dwarf.

Ugh I am so out of here.

“Katrina??” Dean was waving a hand in front of her face.

“Oh, sorry,” Katrina blinked, “What happened?”

“You’ve just been standing there, blank faced, for like two minutes.”

“Except when you laughed,” Charlie added.

“Sorry, I was just talking to Sam. I’m gunna get out now.”

“Good.”

“Oh wait. I was supposed to see if I could fix him up first.”

You don’t have to.

But I want to, I promised I would.

“Fine, just get it done with.”

“Patience young grasshopper,” Katrina sat back down, closing her eyes and spreading her awareness throughout Sam.

Oh God. This is even weirder….

Hush Sam. I need to concentrate.

She swept through him, looking for damage. It wasn’t hard to find. It was immense.

Oh my God Sam… What happened to you?

It’s a long-

A long story. I know. I don’t know how easily fixed this is… but I’ll try my best.

She concentrated on soldering the places where the seams were ripping. It wasn’t like healing bruises. This wasn’t something physical. Maybe she could try visualizing it differently. She found that visualizing things made them easier to carry out. She imagined her healing powers as a light that flowed from her. She let the light pour throughout Sam’s body and into his soul. She could feel him start to slowly mend. It was working, but she was getting tired.

There was no more frustrating feeling than getting tired, because she never got tired, except for when she needed her strength most it seemed.

Katrina. I feel much better. You can stop for now and continue another day. I don’t want you to wear yourself out. You’re getting tired. I can feel it.

Wait. Can you feel me as well as I feel you? She tried to ignore how weird that sounded.

Well, I don’t know how much of you’re feeling right now, but I’d say that I’m feeling quite a bit.

Wow… I didn’t think it went both ways.

It usually doesn’t I think. I think you’re just giving me a lot more freedom and voice than what is conventional. You’re think of me as more of an equal than a vessel.

Cool. But you’re right. I’m tired. I think I’ll go for real now. By now she was feeling almost completely drained. It was weird. She thought that as an angel she was supposed to have an enormous supply of energy. It seemed not. It felt like every time she had to exert herself in the slightest it dried her up completely.

See you on the flip side.

Leaving Sam’s body was much easier, finding her own, however, was not. Her body was completely empty, so she had nothing to use as a guide.

Castiel, Dean, and Charlie watched as the golden mist poured out of Sam’s mouth and hovered around in the air aimlessly.

“She can’t find her own body,” Castiel murmured. “Katrina,” he said louder, “You’ve got to spread your awareness back to sight so you can see your body.”

The mist seemed to hear him, because soon it was rushing back to her body. It swept into her mouth, which let out a gasp as the end disappeared past her lips.

Sam woke up as well, grimacing.

“You okay Sammy?” Dean asked, going up to him.

“Yeah, I feel great actually.” Sam seemed surprised, stretching out his arms and legs.

“Katrina?” Castiel knelt beside her, concerned as her eyes fluttered open.

“That was hard…” Katrina murmured.

“It will get easier with practice,” Castiel replied, relieved. He placed a kiss on her forehead. Katrina smiled.

“Do you feel better Sam?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah, definitely. Thanks.”

“‘sno problem,” she said, her speech a bit slurred.

“I think it took a lot out of her,” Castiel frowned, “I think I should take her to lie down for a bit.”

“It won’t do anything...” Katrina sighed, “I don’t sleep…”

“Well, it’ll make me feel better.”

“Okay… anything for you,” Katrina smiled, her eyes a bit unfocused.

When Castiel came back from putting her in his room, he looked very concerned.

“How is she?” Charlie asked.

“I think the best way to describe her right now… would be intoxicated. It would be amusing if it weren’t so worrying.”

“I don’t get it,” Dean said, “Why does she keep getting drained so easily? It seems like it’s getting worse and worse.”

“I don’t know. There’s countless possible explanations,” Castiel frowned, “It may be that her body was never fully equipped to be a vessel, or that her connection with Purgatory is fading, given that she has never been there in the first place, just as the angel’s powers will soon be growing weaker after being shut out of heaven for too long.”

“Gabriel seemed fine, and he left heaven for hundreds of years,” Sam interjected.

“Yes, but Gabriel is significantly more powerful than Katrina, and given that he was an archangel, he was never really cut off from heaven. If only we had an archangel now, they would be able to take care of Metatron easily, and put everything back to normal.”

“Yeah, too bad we killed them all,” Dean grimaced.

Castiel’s frown deepened, but he ignored Dean’s comment, “It may be that her humanity and her ‘grace’ of sorts are battling inside her, which is causing her to become unstable.”

“What kind of instability are we talking here?” Dean asked, “Like randomly collapsing into unconsciousness or death instability, or nuclear explosion instability?”

“I don’t know…” Castiel said reluctantly.

“Uh… then shouldn’t there be someone in there making sure she’s not, you know, dead?” Charlie said.

Castiel stood, his expression alarmed.

Sam stood with him, holding a hand out.

“Cas, all you do is worry about her. Take a bit of a break. I’ll take care of it.”

“I don’t think I could take a break right now,” Castiel shook his head.

“Then try and look for signs of Metatron or something,” Sam said, “I’ll handle this. It’s my fault she’s like this right now. She’d be fine if she hadn’t tried to heal me.”

“If you say so Sam,” Castiel sighed.

“Ooh,” Charlie lit up, “That sounds like computery type stuff! I can help with that!”

“Yeah,” Sam agreed, “She definitely can. I’ll let you guys get on that.” With that he swiftly left the room, making his way to Castiel’s. He knocked on the door.

“Come on in Sam…” An airy voice came from inside the room.

“How’d you know it was me?” Sam asked, opening the door.

“One- Hello? Angelic being? I always know who it is.” Katrina was sprawled out on Castiel’s bed, “Two- I know your soul pretty well now, so I can sense where you are. Could feel you coming without even looking for you... ‘Slike a beacon or something.” Sam sat on the bed next to her, amused by the way her words lilted almost drunkenly, her accent heavier as well. “It’s even stronger too probably cuz there’s little bits of me inside you…” her arm raised, her finger making a swirling motion before poking him in the back, “from where I patched you up.”

“Yeah, thanks for that. Sorry that you got a bit drained.”

“‘Sfine…” Katrina murmured, “’M glad I could do something good with my powers still... since apparently everything that I am is wrong. It’s so wrong that it’s slowly killing me now too... I used to heal children, but after I found Castiel I haven’t been doing much good… It’s probably punishment for stopping… all this. At least before I was a monster that did good… Now ‘M just a monster…”

“You’re not a monster… You’re a good person.”

“The two aren’t mutually exclusive…”

“I suppose not. But we’ll figure this out, you’ll be better soon.”

“You know what my name means Sam?”

“Uh… no.”

“Means purity… pure. Ironic huh?” Katrina let out a laugh. “I’m not pure… I’m about as tainted as it gets… Directly linked to the scum of the earth…”

“You’re preaching to the choir sister…” Sam said reassuringly, placing a hand on her head.

Katrina reached up and took his hand off of her head, studying it closely.

“You’re not dirty though…” she said thoughtfully, “I was inside you,” she paused for a moment, giggling, then grew serious again, “You were a bit busted up… okay, a lot busted up… but you were clean. Definitely a lot more pure than me. I didn’t see a trace of anything demonic… You’re just Sam…” she smiled at him, but it slowly faded into a very sad frown, “Me however… I’m probably filled to the brim with black goo… like Castiel was when the Leviathan were inside him. Filthy…”

“You know how you possessed me?” Sam said, wiggling his fingers.

Katrina rolled her eyes, “No… I forgot…” she said sarcastically.

Sam ignored her, “Well, right before you did, your… essence or whatever, came out of your mouth to find me, and it wasn’t black. It was like a sparkling golden mist. Very beautiful. Not at all filthy.”

“Really?” Sam was surprised to see that Katrina had started tearing up.

“Yeah, really,” he smiled.

“Your hands are huge…” Katrina said suddenly, pressing her hand flat against his. Her entire hand almost fit completely in his palm.

“So I’ve been told.”

“You know what they say about big hands…” Katrina raised her eyebrows suggestively. She looked like a freaking giddy child. Sam fought to keep his face straight.

“What do they say?” Sam humored her for now.

Katrina motioned for him to come closer. He leaned in and let her whisper in his ear.

“...Big gloves…” she then went into a fit of giggles.

Sam pulled back, “I swear to God, it’s like you’re drunk.”

“I feel a bit drunk,” Katrina snickered, “But I haven’t been drunk in years. Angel-whatevers don’t get drunk.”

“That’s unfortunate.”

“The worst.” Katrina nodded.

“You should rest. I’ll sit here and make sure you’re okay.”

“Sam. I am resting. I can’t sleep. This is as restful as I get.” she sighed, “I appreciate your company for distracting me from the fact that I feel bone tired and completely disorientated. My brain is total mush… If I was like this ‘cause I was drunk, I would’ve passed out by now. Instead I’m just in this stupor where I have like zero filter or regard for personal space.”

“You’re pretty self-aware for a drunk person.”

“Yeah, it’s like a curse. My brain is simultaneously completely dysfunctional yet completely cognizant. Half of it is going ‘wooo’ and acting like a dumbass, and the other half is like ‘oh my god stop being such an idiot.’ The first half is in control unfortunately. I think I’m getting better though… My head is clearing up.”

“Yeah, your speech isn’t really slurred anymore either. Which is a shame, I liked the accent.”

“Ah yes, I’m just a quaint southern girl. Howdy.”

“You don’t actually say Howdy, do you?”

“God no.”

“Good. I’d never be able to take you seriously again.”

“I wasn’t under the impression that you did take me seriously.”

“I do. You’re pretty scary. You should have seen yourself when you took out all of those angels. You could take me out in a second.”

“Yeah, and then I’d pass out,” Katrina grimaced.

“You could beat me in an arm wrestling contest,” Sam offered, grinning.

“That I could,” Katrina laughed. “I could beat you in a wrestling contest with just my arm. Which would be hilarious to watch considering how much smaller I am than you.”

“Dean would laugh his ass off.”

“Maybe I’d let you win to preserve your dignity.”

“Nah, that’d just make it worse. I don’t work out so that I can be given a handicap in a wrestling match.”

“You’ve killed angels in the past though, I’m sure you could take me. I don’t have a lot of combat training. None, actually.”

“We may need to work on that. Wouldn’t want you getting hurt.”

Katrina sighed, “Why do you like me so much Sam? You’re so nice. You’re probably my only friend.”

“Well, I’ll admit that the company of anyone who isn’t my brother is like a breath of fresh air. I love him, but living with just your brother for ten years can get a bit tedious.”

“Ah yes… I can see why you would crave company, and I’m sure the fact that I’m a woman helped some.”

“Yeah, I’m not gunna pretend I wasn’t a bit excited at first.” Sam smiled nervously, “But don’t worry, I got over it.”

Katrina was surprised at his honesty. She supposed he was only telling her this because of her current mental state. Well, not so current anymore. She was practically back to normal now. “It’s fine. I shouldn’t have been surprised. I literally got myself into a situation where I was the only woman in a house with three sexually deprived men.”

Sam opened his mouth to protest, but Katrina cut him off, “Oh please. Again, I’m an angelic being. I can feel things. And I could definitely feel that you were all in a serious dry spell. Or maybe it’s just a woman thing. Even so, I was in your head remember? I felt your soul. I can feel it now.” She tugged on the connection between her and Sam, who shuddered.

“Don’t do that. It’s weird.”

“I think it’s nice. It’s nice to feel connected to someone.”

“How do you think Castiel would feel about it?” Sam asked pointedly.

“The last thing I need is a boyfriend who gets jealous over my guy friends. I’m not a teenager. There are important relationships outside of romantic ones. As long as we’re not sucking face or anything, there shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Well I guess I’ll cross that off my to-do list then.”

Katrina laughed, “It would never work between us Sam. I’m immortal, and you’re just a man,” she sighed dramatically, draping an arm across her face.

“Technically so is Cas,” Sam said slowly.

“Yeah, but I’m gunna get his grace back, so that’ll be solved soon.”

“Uh, Katrina? I don’t know if that’ll work. Metatron used Castiel’s grace for a spell, there’s a chance that it was burned up in the process.”

Katrina stared blankly at Sam.

“I’m sorry.”

“But you’re not sure. There’s still a chance… Hell, I’ll rip Metatron’s grace out and give it to Castiel if that’s what it takes.” A panicked edge tainted her voice, “I can’t do forever alone. I can’t.”

“Woah woah, okay,” Sam said soothingly, “It’ll be alright.”

Katrina swallowed, her eyes wide.

“Keep in mind, the life expectancy for any of us is hardly ever forever, angels or humans. Hunters and others involved hardly live out the average life expectancy. I’m surprised I’ve made it this far.”

“I can’t believe you just told me that I might end up dying really soon to try and cheer me up.”

“Did it work?”

“Not really. No.”

“Damn.”

“Do you really not expect to grow old?”

“Nope.”

“Or get married and have kids?”

“Nope.”

Katrina’s face formed into a determined glare.

“No.”

“What?” Sam asked, confused.

“No. I’m not gunna let you die.”

“I don’t think-”

“Well you thought wrong. From now on it’s gunna be my job to make sure that you, and Castiel, and even Dean, live long, healthy lives. You are not gunna die young, not on my watch. You may not ever get married, but that’ll be a choice you make, not a choice that death makes for you. It’ll be my new good deed.”

“You’re insane.”

“So I’ve been told,” Katrina grinned, “And you’re gunna live till you’re old and just as crazy as me.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“I am.”

A knock on the door interrupted them. Charlie poked her head in, “It looks like we got something.”

Katrina’s smile widened, “Perfect.”


	8. Tree, Dairy Queen, and Humanity

“So let me get this straight,” Katrina said in disbelief, “You hacked into the FBIs computers??”

“Yep,” Charlie said, cracking her fingers and leaning back, “What we needed was only in the medium level security.”

“And when you say medium, I’m guessing you mean something much higher standard than the firewall I have on my laptop.”

“Definitely,” Charlie nodded, grinning, “I just had to access their facial recognition software and the feed for all of the security cameras in the country. At least, that’s the simplified version of what I did, for the civilians.”

“How did you know what to look for in the first place?” Sam asked.

Castiel looked up, “I knew the name of the vessel that Metatron had chosen. Angels know this instinctually. Charlie found a picture of him and used that.”

“Finally, someone whose nerdom is useful around here,” Katrina sighed, smirking at Sam. Sam rolled his eyes. Charlie drew herself up a bit with pride, smiling.

“So where is he then?” Dean asked, leaning in to look at the screen.

“He was in a Dairy Queen in West Virginia around noon, but then he went off of the grid again. If he pops up again we’ll know immediately.”

“What was he doing in a Dairy Queen?” Dean asked incredulously, “As a matter of fact, what is he doing on Earth?”

“Well I’m gunna make a wild guess and say he was eating icecream,” Katrina said sarcastically.

“I have no idea….” Castiel murmured, ignoring her comment, “But he had some reason for shutting all of the angels out of heaven. I’m sure he has a plan.”

“So where is this Dairy Queen?” Katrina asked, “Exact location please.”

“Umm…” Charlie said, “It’s in a town called Spencer, on Ripley road,” she pointed at the map.

“Okay,” Katrina straightened up, “I’ll go check it out.”

“What? No way!” Dean protested.

“What’s wrong?”

“What are you gunna do when you get there?”

“I’m gunna ask around, obviously. See if anyone noticed anything strange or if anyone heard him say anything.”

“And how exactly are you going to do that? What will your excuse be? ‘Oh yeah I’m just some random chick you never met and I have some questions about a paying customer that came in earlier.’” Dean said, exasperated.

“Fine, what would you have me do?”

“Take me with you, and I’ll ask the questions.”

Katrina crossed her arms, “And what makes you think they’ll be more likely to answer your questions?”

“Listen feathers,” Dean said, “I’m a hunter. It’s my job to get people to tell me about strange things. I’ve been to more crime scenes and morgues than I can count. So trust me, I’m a professional.”

“Fine…” Katrina sighed. She had hoped that they were past the stupid nicknames. Apparently that was too much to hope for.

“Alright,” Dean cracked his knuckles, “I’ll go change.”

“Change?” Katrina exclaimed as he walked away, “For what?!”

“Gotta look the part Kit Kat!”

“What part?” She called after him, “And don’t call me Kit Kat!”

Sam snickered. Katrina glared at him.

“What?” Sam said, holding his hands up in surrender, “I think it’s sweet,” he grinned.

“Sweet? Was that some attempt at a lame pun?” Katrina snorted.

“I don’t think it was that lame,” Sam huffed.

“It was pretty lame,” Kevin agreed.

“Don’t worry Sam,” Charlie said, not looking up from her laptop, “I think your corny wordplay is funny.”

“Thanks Charlie.”

“Funny like watching a person run into a glass door,” Charlie added, smirking.

Kevin and Katrina laughed while Sam pulled a fake pout.

“Okay let’s head out,” Dean said, entering the room again.

Katrina raised an eyebrow, “You’re wearing a suit to the Dairy Queen?” Dean was wearing a cheap two piece with a tie. But Katrina had to admit, he did clean up well.

Dean pulled out a badge and flipped it open, “FBI Kit Kat.”

Katrina’s eyes narrowed. It looked like this was going to be as popular as “feathers.”

“Alright, let’s go,” Dean pulled out his keys.

“No way,” Katrina shook her head, “We are not driving across the country. We’re flying.”

Dean paled, opening his mouth to protest.

“Quit being such a stubborn baby,” Katrina cut him off, “He was there a few hours ago, we need to go while the memories are still fresh. We don’t have time for an interstate road trip. I can’t believe you even considered driving.”

“It’s Dean,” Castiel said, “He always considers driving.”

“Well, I’m not going to consider it. Let’s go.” She went to grab his shoulder. Dean jerked away, making Katrina’s brow furrow in frustration. “Fine. We’ll do this the hard way.”

Dean suddenly found that he couldn’t move a muscle below his neck. His eyes widened in surprise as he felt Katrina scoop him up, bridal style, into her arms.

“What the hell?!” he exclaimed, his legs refusing to move.

“Act like a baby, get treated like a baby,” Katrina shrugged, then flew off.

When they landed, Katrina set Dean back on his feet. Dean hastily straightened out his suit, trying to regain his dignity, the tips of his ears red.

“Don’t worry,” Katrina rolled her eyes, “There’s no one around.” She had landed in a small clearing, surrounded by trees. She could hear cars and conversations just south of them. Dean’s ears only picked up the sounds of cars.

“Where are we?” he asked, irritated.

“I brought you to the middle of a random forest to finish you off once and for all,” Katrina said sarcastically. When Dean shot her an unamused look she sighed, “We’re just in the woods a bit north of the Dairy Queen. I figured it would be better if I didn’t suddenly materialize out of thin air in the middle of a restaurant.”

“Alright, let’s go,” Dean started trudging off.

“Uh Dean…”

“What?”

“It’s that way.”

* * *

“How can I help you?” A guy who was way too chipper for Dean’s tastes asked.

“Um yeah, I was just wondering if I could ask you a few questions about someone who was here around noon.” Dean showed him his badge.

“Oh, uh,” the young man’s smile dropped, “I just started my shift fifteen minutes ago, but you could ask Paul! He’s been here since eleven.” He pointed to a man who was wiping tables.

“Thanks,” Dean said, crossing the room. “Hey, uh, Paul?”

The man straightened up. Dean wondered if his scraggly grey mustache was against some sort of health code. “Yeah, that’s me. What can I do for you?”

“Agent Gibson,” he said, showing him his badge before tucking it back into his pocket and pulling out a picture of Metatron. “I was wondering if you happened to see this man here around noon.”

The man eyed the picture warily, “Yeah, he was here all right.”

“Did he do or say anything strange at all? Was there anything odd that you noticed?”

“Yeah,” the man shifted slightly, looking away, “It sounds pretty crazy though.”

“Crazy how?”

“Well…” the man murmured, running his thumb and his forefinger over his mustache, “I went over to ask if everything was tasting good, and if there was anything I could get for them, but he just stared at me. Didn’t say nothin. And then I started to get this awful headache. It didn’t go away until I was outta his sight.”

“Huh… that is weird.”

“Yeah. I’ve never seen him around before. But he was with Steve and Tony, who come around here all the time.”

“He was with someone?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t get to hear what they were talking about,” the man frowned, “I was a bit reluctant to go anywhere near them again after what happened with my head. But they were acting kinda funny. Tony’s usually a great heap of silliness, his laughs booming through the entire room, but today he was real quiet and serious. I’ve never seen him so serious before.”

So, angel possession then? Dean thought, But what angel would wanna work with Metatron after he locked them all outta heaven?

“Could I get a look at your security tapes?”

* * *

Katrina reluctantly ate her icecream sundae as she watched Dean talk to the employees. He had insisted that she observe from afar instead of going with him. She was feeling particularly underappreciated when her thoughts were interrupted by a tug on her sleeve. She turned to her left to see a small boy smiling at her.

“I like your wings,” he said brightly.

“My what? Katrina’s eyes widened, bewildered. She looked over her shoulder to make sure that they weren’t visible. They weren’t.

“Your wings! I’ve never seen blue ones before!”

Katrina glanced around, lowering her voice, “You’ve seen people with wings before?”

“Yeah, but never two in one day.”

“How long have you been here?” Katrina glanced up at the clock, Metatron had been gone for over two hours now, “Where are your parents?” Who on earth was this boy? He didn’t seem anything but human.

“They’re at work. My brother works here, and I get to come with him and eat free ice cream,” he grinned happily.

“So… you saw someone else with wings today?”

“Yeah, that’s who you and that man over there are looking for right?” He sat down across from her.

“Yes. We are. Can you tell me what he was doing?”

“Well, he was talking to two men that looked like Mr. Steve and his husband.”

“What do you mean looked like?”

“Well… Everyone thought it was them, and they did look just like them… but it wasn’t them. There was something wrong with their faces.  But only I could see it.”

“But they didn’t have wings like me?”

“Nope.”

“And it didn’t seem like it was just someone inside their body?”

“No, it was a different person, just pretending to be Mr. Steve.”

Katrina bit her lip, “Do you see things that other people don’t see often?”

“Yeah, ever since my eyes got fixed.”

“Fixed by who? What was wrong with your eyes?”

“I used to be blind because of an accident I got into. I was in the hospital, and another man with wings came and fixed them for me. But he had different wings too. Instead of white they were black, and they looked like they were kinda broken. I remember being scared because his eyes were black too.”

Katrina listened, her breath stopped in her chest. This was a boy that Castiel had healed? Then she remembered. She hadn’t recognized him at first because he had been so young when they had visited him. The boy had started screaming when he opened his eyes and saw Castiel. Needless to say, Castiel had been quite shocked, and Katrina had ushered him out of there before they caused too much of a scene. Apparently Castiel had made the boys eyes work a little too well. He would be happy to know that this was why the boy had been screaming.

What an amazing coincidence though, she thought as she studied the boy closely.

She heard a cough from behind her. Turning, she saw Dean motion towards the door.

“Well, it was nice meeting you,” Katrina smiled, “What’s your name?”

“Lucas,” the boy grinned back at her, “You should come visit again!”

“Sounds like a plan,” Katrina quickly focused her awareness onto his soul so that she could find it again later. Then she sent her ice cream to a nearby trashcan with a flick of her wrist. Lucas’ eyes widened with wonder and she winked at him conspiratorily before following Dean out the door.

“Okay, so it seems like we’re looking at three angels now,” Dean started as they walked.

“I don’t think so,” Katrina disagreed, remembering what Lucas had said.

“What makes you say that?” Dean looked at her disbelievingly, “The people that I talked to said that the guys Metatron was with weren’t acting like themselves. So you’ve got to assume they’re being possessed by angels.”

“That’s what I thought too,” Katrina nodded, “But the boy I was talking to was there too, and he told me some interesting stuff.” She went over what the boy had told her.

“Skipping past the weird magic eyes,” Dean frowned, “It sounds like they may be shifters then. They never looked at the cameras so I couldn’t see their eyes. But what would Metatron want with shifters?”

“Couldn’t it be demons?” Katrina asked. Demons looked like humans.

“No, from what I’ve heard, those who can see the true faces of demons are horrified because they’re hideous.” Katrina wouldn’t say that they were hideous. Terrifying, yes. But not hideous.  “And demons possess people like angels, the kid said they were their own creatures.”

Katrina stopped dead in her tracks.

“What’s wrong?” Dean stopped after a few paces, looking back.

“Angels and demons possess people… All of those angels I killed… they were people…” Her face was painted with horror. How had she not realized that before? She had killed innocent people without a second thought. What was wrong with her?? For some reason she had just thought that angels and demons had just looked like people and could possess people as well. That was what she did afterall. But the smoke that had come out of the demon had been the demon. God, she was such an idiot. “And the demons I helped Sam kill… You guys kill innocent people almost every day…” Her hands were shaking and her knees felt weak. “Castiel… that’s not even his own body…” She hadn’t realized that she had fallen to her knees until Dean stooped down on one knee to look at her.

“Okay, okay, listen,” he said in a gruff attempt to be soothing, “If it makes you feel any better, angels have to ask for permission before they can possess someone. So Castiel’s vessel agreed to it.”

“Did he know what he was agreeing to?” she looked up, fighting back tears, “I don’t think anyone really knows what angels are like. He probably just thought he would do some holy mission and then get to go back. Is he stuck in there, with Castiel trapped in there too now as a human?” Nausea rose up inside her, “Oh my God. I slept with him!” Hysteria bubbled in her chest.

“Woah woah,” Dean’s eyes widened in slight panic, “Calm down. It’s okay.” He seemed uncomfortably unprepared to deal with the sudden overflow of emotion, “I’m pretty sure that Jimmy isn’t in there anymore. Castiel has died and been brought back so many times, I don’t think that Jimmy was brought back with him. I’m sure he’s in heaven. Okay?”

Katrina nodded, “It’s really shitty of me that that makes me feel better, but it does.” God, what kind of horrible person was she if the idea of someone being dead made her feel better? “I hope he’s happy up there… But… everything else is still true.”

“We can worry about that later,” he put a hand on her shoulder, “Let’s get back to the bunker for now.”

“Okay…” Katrina stood, taking hold of Dean’s arm and flying them back.They found Charlie, Kevin, Castiel, and Sam huddled around something on the table in concentration.

“Really?” Dean said, “Scrabble?”

“I’ve been told it is yet another human rite of passage…” Castiel said, not looking up from his tiles.

“Yeah, if you’re a nerd,” Dean snorted.

“How did your investigation go?” Sam looked up, his face sliding from curiosity to worry as he saw Katrina’s ashen face. “What’s wrong?”

The rest of the group looked up at his words, concern tainting their faces as well. Katrina couldn’t take it.

“Nothing. Uh… I’m gunna go out. I’ll see you guys later.”

“Wai-” she didn’t stay to discuss, vanishing.

“What was that all about?” Kevin asked.

“She’s having a bit of an internal crisis,” Dean said, rubbing his neck, “with the realization that the angels and demons that she kills are inside innocent people. Most hunters hit this problem at some point. She’ll come around.”

“It’s kinda shitty that your idea of a solution is her accepting the slaughtering of innocent people,” Kevin grimaced.

“Unfortunately, it’s true,” Sam sighed.

“Maybe she’ll just decide to abstain from killing people,” Charlie shrugged.

“I doubt it,” Dean shook his head, “Even if she did, she’d toss it out the window the moment someone hurt Cas. You should’ve seen her at the warehouse when she killed all of those angels. I don’t think she was even in control of herself.”

“She must feel pretty awful,” Charlie said sadly.

“Yeah, she seems to have caught the Winchester illness,” Sam frowned.

“What illness?” Dean asked.

“The one where we all hate ourselves, obviously...” Castiel said.

“That’s so stupid,” Charlie huffed, “You guys are amazing. You’ve saved the world so many times! Like I get that your life sucks sometimes but I don’t see why that should be a reflection on you guys. Do the people who you’ve saved not matter just because of the people you couldn’t? Jesus Christ….” Dean opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off, “Nope. No arguing. There is nothing new that you can say to me to make me change my mind. I know everything. I read the books.”

Dean sighed, “Fine. Whatever. Can we just talk about what we found?”

* * *

Katrina ran her hand over the smooth top of a young girl’s head. She was asleep, and her parents were nowhere in sight. It was hard for Katrina to imagine being a parent and not constantly being at your child’s side when they were this sick. The girl had a brain tumor, and Katrina could sense just how weak her lifeforce had become. It pulsed with the softness of a butterfly’s wings. She closed her eyes and healed her, marvelling at the light that was growing brighter and brighter. She felt the girl stir beneath her, her eyes fluttering open.

“Daddy…?” the girl croaked.

“He’s not here right now… sorry.”

“Who are you?”

Katrina smiled at her, “My name is Katrina, and I’m here to make you better.”

“Like a doctor?”

“Even better than a doctor. What’s your name?”

“Alice.”

“Alright Alice, how long do you wish your hair was?”

The girl self consciously ran a hand over her hairless head, “I don’t know… I just wish I could have hair again.”

“But if you could grow hair again, how long would you make it?”

“If I could…” a small smile played on the girls lips, “I would grow it down to my knees!”

Katrina laughed, “Okay then, get ready,” she placed a palm on the girl’s forehead. Instantly, hair began to sprout from her previously bald head. It looked very bizarre, but any apprehension Katrina may have had from the strange sight vanished at the sound of Alice’s delighted laughter. Joy radiated from her as the hair rushed past her shoulders, a healthy golden brown. Katrina couldn’t help but grin along with Alice’s giggles as she ran her fingers through her new silky hair. When it started to pool around her on the bed, Katrina took her hand off of the girl’s forehead.

“How’s that?”

“It’s beautiful! Thank you!” Alice cried out. Her cheeks had acquired a healthy rosiness and there was a sparkle in her eyes-- something Katrina knew wasn’t usually present in children that had been in her condition.

“And do you feel better?”

“I do,” the girl nodded enthusiastically, “I don’t feel tired anymore! And usually when I wake up, I have to throw up, but I feel fine now!”

“That’s good.”

“So I’m not sick anymore?”

“Nope, you’re healthy as a horse. And you’ll live till you’re an old lady.”

“Daddy promised I’d get a puppy if I got better too,” Alice said, excited.

“Well, I hope he has enough money. Because it looks like you’re getting one.”

“Can you take these tubes and stuff off of me?”

“Sure,” Katrina got to work.

“Alice?” Katrina turned to see a man standing in the doorway. He had dark circles under his eyes and his clothes were wrinkled.

“Daddy!” The girl jumped out of her bed and ran at him, throwing her arms around him.

The man stared down at her in disbelief, his hand moving to her hair and tugging on a piece of it.

“Ow Daddy that hurts!”

“How…?”

“Katrina made me better!” The girl turned to look at Katrina, but she was gone.

* * *

Katrina couldn’t stay and talk to the girl’s father. What would she tell him? That she was an angel? That was the opposite of the truth.

It felt good to heal people again though. She didn’t feel too much like a monster anymore. As long as she kept doing good deeds, that would balance it out, right? It wasn’t as if she was just killing innocent people for fun… It had to be done. God, she hated trying to justify murder. She kind of wished that she was like the Winchesters. They didn’t have to worry about the morality of it all. It was something they had been doing for their whole lives.

Speaking of which, now seemed like a good time to check out those books Charlie had been talking about. Though she would admit that part of her desire to read them was out of entertainment, it would be a good way to see what she was really getting into.

* * *

“Shifters?” Sam said incredulously, “What on Earth does Metatron want with shifters?”

“Beats me,” Dean shrugged.

“Well,” Castiel said, “Obviously none of the angels want anything to do with him. He’s probably just taking help where he can get it. I wouldn’t put it past him to make a slew of false promises to get them on his side. He might have convinced him that he now has dominion over heaven, and that he can offer them a place there after they die instead of purgatory.”

“Can he?”

“Definitely not. One would have to rewrite heaven’s entire makeup to allow such abominations inside. He may have the power to open and close heaven’s doors, but he can’t change what they allow in.”

The room fell silent as the majority of the group came to a mutual realization. When they all died and went to heaven, if they went to heaven, Katrina wouldn’t be there with them. If she was killed, she would go to purgatory. The thought struck Castiel and Dean the most, given that they had been in purgatory themselves. Castiel shuddered, imagining Katrina in that place that was made up of blood and trees and dirt and fear. Sam wondered if he was enough of an abomination that he would have to join her there.

No one spoke much for a while after that.

* * *

After sitting in uncomfortable silence in the library for too long, Sam had the sudden urge to go outside. It was dusk, and the music of crickets filled the air. His mind wandered aimlessly as he walked through the woods, no particular destination in mind. He stopped at a random tree, picking at the bark.

“You have got to be kidding me…” came a mutter from above him. Sam jumped, going into a defensive position until he recognized the blonde haired girl sitting on a branch.

“Katrina?”

“Yeah Sam?”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m reading… and being pissed off, currently.”

“What’s wrong?”

“You Winchesters and your condemnation of all things even remotely associated with monsters.”

“Oh…” Sam looked around for a branch to get a hold on.

“Like seriously, you find a way to exorcise demons without killing the people they’re possessing and Dean’s first reaction is to flip a shit, which I guess isn’t all that surprising, but then you went along with him! And then they were gunna kill you over it?? These angels are fucking dicks.”

Sam made his way up the tree, “There was more to it than that. The main reason I ended up seeing that it was wrong was because it had become addicting, to the point where I was having horrible withdrawal symptoms. Stuff that does that to you is never good. Then, it turned out that Ruby was tricking me the whole time, and that all that blood was to prepare me for being possessed by Lucifer…”

“Damnit Sam!”

“What?”

“Spoilers!!”

“Sorry…”

“Ugh, so Ruby’s a bad guy then?”

“Yep.”

“So that means she probably dies. Of course. I’m sorry, it must really suck.”

“What must suck?” Sam pulled himself up onto the branch Katrina was sitting on.

“The fact that basically everyone you sleep with dies. I’m pretty sure your dick is bad luck.”

Sam laughed, “Tell me about it.”

“The werewolf girl made me cry.”

“Yeah… me too…” Sam said quietly.

“Sorry…” Katrina frowned, she shouldn’t have said that, “Charlie was right. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that this isn’t just a book.”

Sam shrugged, wanting to move forward. “So your opinion of me hasn’t been tarnished yet?”

“Nope, you’re my favorite character so far.”

“Really? Not Cas?”

“Not yet. Castiel’s being an asshole. I’m glad he’s better now.”

Sam wondered what she would say about Castiel’s and Dean’s relationship development. Was the obvious tension between them as obvious in the books as it was in real life? He supposed he would have to wait and see.

“How did you even find me Sam? I didn’t tell anyone I was out here. I wasn’t talking out loud too much was I?”

“Actually, I wasn’t even looking for you. I was just kinda wandering around aimlessly. You scared the shit out of me when you started talking.”

“Hmm… I wonder if it’s because of our weird connection thing. Maybe you’re just drawn to me,” Katrina smirked teasingly.

“Which you never told me was going to happen by the way. Rude.”

“Well I didn’t know either! I didn’t expect your damage to be so bad that I would have to use my own grace-type stuff to stitch and staple you up. And then after that I thought that it would just stop being attached to me or something! Apparently I was mistaken. I’m like elasti-girl over here. I can literally feel it stretching when we’re far apart. Like some sort of weird corny teen romance novel. Gross.”

“Well, Dean and Cas have their profound bond. Why can’t we have ours?”

“Well I haven’t ‘gripped you tight and raised you from perdition’” Katrina snorted. Did Castiel even know how sexual that sounded? She supposed not, it was Castiel after all.

“Yeah, I guess not. I also don’t have your handprint branded onto my body.”

“Dean doesn’t still have that, does he?”

“Nah, I think it healed a long time ago.”

“Damn, I would’ve loved teasing him about that.”

“I bet you would.”

“So you guys just don’t keep scars or something? I’d expect you guys to be a bit rougher around the edges with all this hunting stuff.”

“We used to have tons, but then Cas came around. When he heals you, he heals just about everything, including scars.”

“Oh,” Katrina closed the book, her concentration broken. They sat there in silence. Katrina could tell there was something on Sam’s mind that he wanted to talk about, but didn’t know how to bring up. “Just spit it out Sam.”

“Huh?”

“You want to talk about something, I can tell. What is it?”

“Oh… uhm… I was just wondering, have you ever considered trying to become human again?”

“What? No. Why?”

“Well… You said you were worried about living forever while Cas died as a human… That problem would be solved if you were human too… Not to mention… even if you are killed and die, you won’t go to heaven.”

“I won’t?”

“No… you’ll go to purgatory.”

“Oh… yeah.” Katrina had forgotten about that. “Is it bad down there?”

“You’ll read about it in the book.”

“What about if I get Castiel’s grace back? I don’t see why that isn’t an option still.”

“It is, I guess. But if you’re both killed, you won’t be in heaven together then either.”

“Where do angels go when they die then?”

“We don’t actually know. It doesn’t seem like they go anywhere. They just… die.”

Katrina frowned. She didn’t know which was worse, knowing you were bound for monsterland, or that there was just nothing.

“How would I even become human?”

“I don’t know… maybe you have a grace that can be taken out too?”

Katrina pulled her knees up, resting her forehead on them, “Ugh… What did I get myself into Sam?”

“I ask myself the same thing every day. Although, I guess I didn’t really have much of a choice.”

“Nah, you always have a choice. You just always chose to save people. The ones you love, and the rest of us.”

“I guess.”

The sun had finally fled completely beneath the horizon, the last traces of red and orange fading away.

“Then again… I don’t even know that I’ll be going to heaven.”

“What? Why would you say that??” Katrina asked incredulously.

“I don’t know. The angels called me an abomination, maybe there’s not enough human in me to get me into heaven.”

“I thought we had already discussed that you were human.”

“As far as you can tell. For all I know, my soul has been tainted beyond repair, if not literally, it might be in the eyes of heaven. They may decide not to let me in out of principle. And I have done some really shitty things. If you just take the amount of people I killed directly, it’d be an incredible list, not even including the people I killed indirectly.”

“Sam,” Katrina said firmly, “Your father made it into heaven. John. Winchester. He’s done all of the things that you’ve done, and more, things like child abuse and neglect, all without your good intentions. You did the things you did to save people, everything your father did was out of a crazed lust for vengeance. You’re going to heaven. And if some idiot puts you in hell, I’ll raise you out of perdition myself. And if I can’t get you to heaven I’ll just make you into something like me and we can chill in purgatory together.”

“Not everything that I did was out of selflessness you know.”

“Yeah, but everyone is allowed to be selfish sometimes. It was makes us human. Or… you human I guess.”

“You definitely would have made a good psychologist.”

“Thanks,” Katrina smiled widely.

“Wanna have a race to the top?” Sam said suddenly.

“What? No. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not? Afraid you’ll lose?”

“No,” Katrina snorted, “Because it’s too dark for you to see properly, and the only reason this branch hasn’t broken underneath your weight is because I’ve been holding it together myself.”

“No way.”

“Want me to prove it?”

“No thanks, I’d like to keep my bones unbroken.”

“Awww, don’t be such a wuss. I’d heal you.” She smirked as the branch started making threatening cracking noises.

“Stop that!” Sam yelped, looking for another branch to stand on.

“”You’re no fun,” Katrina sighed.

“Most people wouldn’t consider falling out of a tree fun.”

“Well I am one of a kind.”

“You’re a pain in the ass.”

“Your words cut deep Sam,” Katrina said dramatically.

“Come on, we should head back. Cas is probably worried about you.”

“He’s my boyfriend, not my mom,” Katrina rolled her eyes.

“Oh, that’s another thing, where’s your mother?”

“That’s a story for another day. Let’s go.” She dropped out of the tree, reaching to Sam to fly them out.

“You don’t have to fly everywhere just because you can,” Sam said, “Let’s just walk.”

“Does it really feel that weird?”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm. It doesn’t feel weird to me at all.”

“Well you’re the one with the wings, so I’d assume not.”

“I don’t think I really even use my wings to fly. It’s weird. It doesn’t feel like bird flight, its more like hopping from place to place. I don’t flap them continuously, I just push once and go where I need to.”

“What’s the point in having them then?”

“I don’t know… they’re pretty…?”

“Are they? Can I see?”

“Castiel says I’m not supposed to…”

“I thought he wasn’t your mother.”

Katrina reddened, “He said that wings were intimate to angels…”

“Well, you’re not really an angel. You don’t necessarily have the same interpretations of intimacy. If they don’t feel like something private to you, you shouldn’t have to hide them.”

“I guess… Maybe some day. Definitely not right now. Human shirts aren’t designed with wing holes unfortunately, and I don’t feel like walking around outside shirtless.”

Sam nodded, swallowing and pushing down the path his thoughts were taking before-

“Down boy,” Katrina smirked.

Too late.

Now it was Sam’s turn to blush. God, she was right. He really was sexually frustrated. He felt like Dean. He had more important things to worry about.

“It’s not like I have much to see anyways,” Katrina glanced down at her chest.

Sam didn’t really know how to respond to that, but luckily they had arrived at the bunker door. Sam fished out the key and let them in.

“Where’ve you guys been?” Dean asked as they came into the library, “You were gone for a while.”

“In a tree,” Sam said nonchalantly.

“K-I-S-S-I-N-G?” Charlie piped up, an eyebrow raised.

Sam and Katrina both threw her a glare.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Katrina snorted.

“Ridiculous? Ouch,” Sam quipped.

Katrina rolled her eyes, “I was just reading and making sure the tree didn’t break under Sam’s enormous body.”

“Well, while you two were putzing around,” Dean said, “We’ve been working on how to find Metatron.”

“Okay what’ve you got?”

“Nothing too complex,” Charlie said humbly, “We’ve just got the systems set to look for signs of angels and shifters in the same areas, as well as the facial recognition scan.”

“Since apparently Metatron’s got himself a pack of shifters, we assumed it might make it easier by narrowing down the search past just fluxes of angel activity. I doubt that both angel activity and shifter activity in the same area are nearly as common.”

“Right, that’s really smart,” Katrina nodded, earning a shocked stare from Dean, “Good job.” Despite her earlier eagerness to tease Dean, she had actually decided to a bit nicer to him. She imagined that he wouldn’t want her pity, but she found that any previous grudges she had had against him couldn’t help but disintegrate completely after reading about his life playing out in pieces. Not just falling to pieces, but being nothing but broken fragments of what a man’s life should be. His life hadn’t been good enough to ruin since he had been a small child. Not to mention, she still had several books to go. Who knew how much worse it was going to get? Now, she wasn’t going to coddle him like a baby, but a bit of appreciation here and there would probably do him some good, and in turn make him treat her a bit more kindly as well. She just needed to slip into the system without causing too much static.

* * *

“Katrina?”

“Hmm?” Katrina didn’t look up, her eyes fixed on the book in front of her. She and Castiel were settled in bed, but Castiel seemed too restless to sleep.

“You and Sam weren’t really… K-I-S-S-I-N-G.. were you?”

Katrina snorted at Castiel’s imitation of the childhood rhyme. But then she felt Castiel tense up beside her. She looked up, surprised to see Castiel’s face pulled into a small pout.

“You’re serious?”

“Obviously.”

“Of course we weren’t. Why would you think that?”

“Charlie seemed to think that’s what you were doing.”

“That’s just a human thing that you don’t know about. It’s a little rhyme that children use to tease each other whenever they suspect that someone has a crush on someone. ‘Sam and Kevin, sittin in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. It’s just a silly little thing. Whenever people hear about two people sitting in a tree, it’s usually the first thing that pops into their heads.”

This didn’t seem to assuage Castiel. “Sam seems to like you… a lot.”

“Even if that were true, there’s nothing to worry about. Nothing is going on between us. I’m not a cheater.”

“I know… I trust you… I don’t know how much I trust Sam however…”

“Wow. I can’t believe you’re jealous,” Katrina smiled slightly. Castiel scowled. “Ugh… Come here,” Katrina sighed, tossing the book aside. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he sat up reluctantly. She climbed onto his lap, her legs around his waist, resting her forehead against his. “Me and Sam are just friends, if his feelings are anything more than that, it’s just because I’m a woman and there aren’t really an abundance of those around here. It’s not because he has a crush on me or has fallen in love with me or anything like that. When I told him that we were together, he respectfully stepped back a bit. Sam’s heart is in the right place, and he wouldn’t do that to you, just like I wouldn’t.” She rubbed her nose back and forwards against his. Castiel relaxed underneath her, his hands sliding up and resting on her back.

“You’re right, I’m sorry for overreacting.”

“It’s no problem. You’re only human.”

Castiel frowned. Only human.

“Castiel. It’s a figure of speech. I’m not saying you’re lesser just because you’re human.” Apparently Castiel was just in a very touchy mood. She pressed her lips against his. When he didn’t respond, she nipped at his lower lip. Castiel gasped, pulling back. Katrina grinned at him as he looked at her with an expression of utter bewilderment.

“Biting..?” he murmured, just as confused with the action as he was with the way his body was responding. His breath had shallowed and his heart’s pace was picking up.

Katrina chuckled, “Biting.” She dragged her teeth along his jawline to his ear, biting lightly on his earlobe. The shudders that ran through Castiel felt like an earthquake.

His grip went from relaxed to a rough hold as he pulled her flush against him. Katrina giggled, sending a flash of something animalistic through Castiel’s veins. He flipped her over onto her back, not very gently at all, causing her to squeal briefly in surprise. She stared up at him, her lips parted and her eyes hooded in anticipation.

Perhaps being “only human” wasn’t so bad afterall.


	9. Loud

Katrina hadn’t expected them to have to wait so long to get a sign from Metatron. It had been five days since they had gotten the lead in West Virginia. Katrina was starting to get a bit stir crazy. She didn’t understand how the rest of them could just sit around so easily. When it got to be a bit too much, Katrina would fly off to a hospital. The more she did this, and the more she read about the Winchester’s adventures, the better she began to feel about herself. She had obviously been a believer in nurture over nature, so any doubts she had about the sources of her powers had been recognized as less important than the way she used them. She refused to take Sam’s suggestion about trying to revert back to a human until she was absolutely sure that they would not be able to retrieve Castiel’s grace. If she made herself a human, and Castiel became an angel again, then he would be the one left alone for eternity. She could never forgive herself if that happened.

Castiel eagerly shoved the scrambled eggs into his mouth as the quiet room, filled only with the sounds of yawns and scraping forks. If he could pick one thing that made being human okay, if not great, it was food. Good food never lost it’s novelty. The smells, tastes, and the sensation of being full were simply some of the best things Castiel had ever experienced in the  thousands of years of his existence.

Being human was just so much… louder. Everything was bright and powerful and extreme, and even when it was overwhelming it was beautiful. At least, now that he was no longer starving and on the streets. Hunger pains were just as loud, and about as unpleasant as eating was pleasant. Pain was loud too, but Castiel didn’t complain much. The sting of a too hot pan burning his skin felt oddly pure. It was just as powerful with emotions.

Now, it wasn’t that he had been a machine completely devoid of feeling as an angel. He had been happy at times, but never had he experienced joy, or pleasure. He’d experienced concern for his well-being and that of others, but not fear. He had known loyalty and devotion, but never love. He had thought that he had known love. He had loved his father, and he had loved his brothers, and he had loved the human race as he had been instructed to. But now that feeling seemed like a small candle flame in comparison to the bright burning star of what love felt like as a human. Angels had not been designed to love. They were designed with just enough of a capability to love to remain loyal and united with their brothers, to follow orders without question, to remain motivated in the face of evil. But they were not allowed too much of a capacity for love. Too much love would addle the mind and cause that love to be more important than orders, and that would be unacceptable.

Castiel had known that there was something wrong with him, as did the other angels. Somewhere in the process of Castiel’s construction, there must have been a slight miscalculation. Though Castiel did not have the same capacity to love as humans did, he knew that he had a tendency to love too much. He mourned the loss of his brothers for too long after any battle. He had simply loved them too much, or so he had been told. Only among angels could one be ridiculed for loving too much. He had loved Dean too much. He loved Dean with a strength greater than any love he had ever experienced as an angel, and it had terrified him. And just as expected, it addled his mind and made him question orders to a point that he had never thought possible. He had rebelled against heaven for a love that was hundreds of times weaker than the way he felt as a human now.

Love was so different now. It wasn’t just a concept of loyalty and an acceptance of someone as an integral part of his life, it was a physical feeling. It was a warmth in his chest and a tickling feeling on the underside of his jaw that made him smile as he sat next to a laughing Dean while watching television, or as he pulled Katrina tightly to his chest at night. It was a fluttering feeling in his stomach as the entire clan sat around a table eating and talking and making Castiel realize that this was what family was supposed to feel like. His brothers had not been family. Not like this.

“I swear to God Cas, you eat like a dog that’s afraid someone’s going to take away it’s food,” Dean said, shaking his head.

“I know, I can hardly watch him without completely losing my own appetite,” Sam added, his nose wrinkling with mild distaste.

“Sorry…” Castiel muttered, looking down at his lap.

“It’s fine,” Dean patted him on the back, “Just like other human stuff, you gotta get a hang of table manners.”

“I gotta say, it’s nice having someone cook three meals a day instead of having to eat left over pizza and mac and cheese every day,” Charlie leaned back contentedly, “I’m terrible at the whole cooking thing.”

“Yeah, thanks for that Katrina,” Kevin agreed, “Who knows how much takeout we’d be eating if it weren’t for you.”

“Thanks,” Katrina smiled, “I have to find something to do to keep me from going insane.”

Dean scowled. Did no one remember when he had cooked? He had been pretty damn good at it. But now everytime he got up in the morning he found Katrina busy in the kitchen before he could get a chance to make anything. He wasn’t sure if the fact that she made food for him as well made him happier or just more pissed off. He was supposed to be the one taking care of people. Cas hadn’t even gotten a chance to taste one of his omelettes. Honestly, Katrina popping up had  flipped Dean’s expectations of what life in the bunker with Castiel would be like completely ass-backwards.

Dean suddenly realized that he had been staring straight at Katrina and that she was now staring back. She was looking at him like a particularly interesting puzzle. Dean’s scowl deepened as he looked away, turning red. That’s when he felt… something. Like a pressure in his head. He didn’t know what it was, but Katrina’s stare suggested that it had something to do with her.

Katrina wondered why Dean seemed to be pissed off all of a sudden. Did he not like the food? Did he really want takeout? All he had to do was get some… she wouldn’t be offended. Her curiosity getting the best of her, she let her mind probe out to Dean’s, hoping to figure out was going on in his head. When she reached him, she could feel his irritation. It was paired with envy and what Katrina could most accurately describe as a broken ego. Katrina tried to dive deeper, but Dean stiffened then. Apparently there was no way to discreetly read someone’s thoughts, which was unfortunate. She withdrew, looking away from him.

Katrina smirked as she came to a realization. When she and Castiel had first arrived at the bunker, Dean had asked if Castiel wanted anything for breakfast, and when he had learned that Castiel had already eaten he seemed irritated then as well. So maybe his pride was wounded because he wanted to be the one to cook. He was such a child. Why not just say something? Though she supposed Dean wasn’t the type to admit that he really just wanted to be a mother hen.

“I’m going out today though,” Katrina said, standing, “So you’ll have to figure out something for lunch and dinner yourselves. If you can manage that,” She looked directly at Dean, waiting for him to volunteer, but he didn’t seem to want to take the bait. She held in her sigh, it looked like she was going to have to spell it out. “Maybe Dean could cook something?” she suggested.

“Yeah, fine…” Dean grumbled reluctantly. Katrina rolled her eyes. Dean had to be the most stubborn person she had ever met, except maybe her mother. He simply couldn’t let anyone see that he actually cared about anything. It was such a typical macho-man complex.

“Where are you going?” Castiel asked. It seemed as if Katrina was running off more and more often lately. She never said where she was going, she just left. He didn’t like it.

“Oh, just the usual stuff, healing and sightseeing”

“Sightseeing?” Sam asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Yeah. If you somehow acquired a bunch of powers that included the ability to be anywhere within seconds, wouldn’t you want to go see the world? My mother never really let me go anywhere as a kid, and I never got a passport. Most of what I know is small town and church community crap. I wanna change that. I mean, I never had much of a mission for the few years while I was on my own, and right now it’s not like there’s much I can do to help on the Metatron case. So I split up my time between you guys, using my powers for good, and using my powers for me.” Katrina smiled to herself, until she realized that everyone was just looking at her silently. “What?”

“You’re just incredibly well balanced,” Kevin said, “That’s a bit of a foreign concept around here.”

Katrina supposed she was… at least in comparison to the rest of them.

“Hey, while you’re at it, why don’t you patch Sam up a bit more?” Dean suggested.

Katrina and Sam exchanged a nervous glance. They hadn’t told anyone about the unusual side effects of their last healing session. Both were afraid that the strange connection might deepen, but didn’t know how to refuse without being suspicious.

“She doesn’t have to, there’s people out there who need it more than me. I don’t want to take up her energy before she can get to them.”

“Bullshit!” Dean said angrily, “You sure as hell do need it. You promised me you’d try to get better. Now let her heal you like she promised.”

“I guess I did promise…” Katrina mumbled reluctantly, sitting back down. It didn’t look like there was a way out of this. But honestly, it was a bit selfish of her to put her comfort over someone else’s health.

“You’re damn right you did, now get to it.”

“Can I at least finish eating..?” Sam muttered, slightly irritated.

“Fine,” Dean said through his last bite of breakfast, “But no stalling after that.” Washing it down with a drink of coffee, he stood, picking up his plate and heading towards the kitchen.

Castiel stood as well, collecting everyone else’s plates as well as his own. “I’ll do the dishes.”

“Thanks Castiel,” Charlie smiled.

“I guess I’ll get back to my own work,” Kevin sighed.

“Mind if I come with?” Charlie piped up. When Kevin looked at her with slight disbelief, she continued, “What? Maybe I’ll get some good ideas for Roleplaying from it.”

Kevin chuckled, “Alright, come on.”

Katrina and Sam sat in awkward silence.

“We could just fake it you know,” Sam finally said.

“We shouldn’t though,” Katrina frowned, “You really do need to get better… I promised that you would live until you were old and gray, and with your internal wounds sucking away your life force, that’s definitely not going to happen unless I finish patching you up.”

“You’d be willing to risk making the weird bond thing stronger just for that?”

“Obviously. My own comfort isn’t more important that your health. I’m not kidding Sam, you’re a wreck. I honestly don’t know how you held together so well so far. Who knows? Maybe once you’re finally fixed, I’ll be able to pull the stitches out and the connection will be gone for good. It’s either make sure you get fixed all the way and have some sort of weird mind link even stronger than the one now for a bit until I can take it out, or just keep everything the way it is so that you’ll never get better and we’ll have this weird weaker bond for the rest of our lives. Because there’s no way I’m taking them out now, it could end up making the damage even worse.”

“I guess when you put it that way it sounds better.”

“I shouldn’t have to possess you either, since I kinda know my way around in there now. Not to mention, I’m already sort of in there… God this is weird.”

Sam snorted, “It sure is.”

“Let’s just get this over with,” Katrina sighed, standing again and walking over to where Sam sat. Sam stood as well.

“Sit the hell back down,” Katrina snapped lightheartedly, “You’re too damn tall for to me reach up there.”

Sam chuckled, sitting back down. He muttered something. The only word that Katrina picked out was “tiny.”

“I’d like to remind you that one of my wings is as big as your whole body,” she huffed.

“Prove it.”

Katrina rolled her eyes, took a deep breath and placed her palm on his forehead. It was easy to find where she had left off.

“I won’t do much. Like you said, I don’t wanna drain myself.”

She added to the patches, letting them grow like vines, spreading over Sam’s wounds. It was easier now than it was the first time, but Katrina didn’t want to get too enthusiastic, so after a short while she retracted. When they opened their eyes, they could both feel the difference.

This is so…

...weird.

Katrina’s mind came to a screeching halt. She hadn’t finished that sentence… Sam had. But neither of them had actually said anything out loud. Sam stared back at her in horror.

Oh God.

“Holy shit…” Katrina murmured, “This is not good.”

“I’ll say,” Sam choked out.

Katrina went into full panic mode.

Oh my God what am I gunna do I’m gunna have to keep my mind blank at all times how on Earth am I gunna do that?

You?! At least your thoughts aren’t anything embarrassing!

Damnit Sam! I wasn’t talking to you! And embarrassing? Doesn’t everyone have embarrassing thoughts?!

Yeah but not specifically related to the person that they’re freaking mind melded with!

What are you talking about I thought you were over- oh MY GOD STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!

I’m trying!! My brain is sabotaging me!

OH GOD NOW I’M THINKING ABOUT IT WHY THE HELL ARE IMAGES TRANSFERABLE TOO??

Alright alright alright okay I’m thinking about… law stuff. A temporary injunction is a court order prohibiting an action by a party to a lawsuit until there has been a trial or other court action. A temporary injunction differs from a "temporary restraining order" which is-

Oh my God this is like when Harry Potter was connected to Voldemort but so much worse

Are you saying I’m worse than Voldemort??

Shut up Sam!

You have to make this stop. Now. Get this shit out of me.

What if you die??

“Uh… Sam? Katrina?” Dean stood in the doorway, watching them. They had just been staring at each other silently with horrified expressions on their faces for over a minute.

Sam and Katrina both jumped, looking to Dean, their faces both pale.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Sam said, his voice a little too high. He coughed, “Uh.. yeah.”

No no God no.

“Well, I’ll just go now,” Katrina said quickly.

Maybe it’ll go away if we’re farther apart, she thought frantically before flying away.

She landed in France and was relieved at the absence of a certain Winchester’s voice.

“Thank God…” she sighed.

She shook off what had just happened and prepared to get to work.

* * *

Katrina kept herself busy for as long as she could, but she couldn’t stay in France forever. Castiel was sure to get worried, and she wanted to be there if there was any news on Metatron. She steeled herself before flying back to the bunker.

She could feel Sam’s presence immediately. He was sitting at the table on the opposite end of the room, reading. He looked up right when she appeared, sensing her as well. Luckily, she couldn’t hear any of his thoughts. She could only feel his relief as he realized that he couldn’t hear her’s as well. Katrina sighed.

“Do you think it wore off?” Sam asked.

“Probably not,” Katrina shook her head, sitting at the other end of the table, “I think it’s proximity related. We could hear each other’s thoughts when we were standing next to each other. And I bet if I really tried…”

I could talk to you like this

Sam ran his fingers through his hair, “I guess it could be useful in a way. As long as we don’t have to worry about lack of privacy. They’re like walkie-talkies.”

“Glad you’re being optimistic. ‘Cause we might be stuck like this for a while.”

“Stuck like what?” Katrina spun around to see Dean standing in the doorway. Again. This seemed to be a reoccuring theme.

“It’s nothing. Where’s Castiel?”

“Hell if I know,” Dean shrugged, “He’s your boyfriend.”

Katrina’s brow furrowed at the venom in Dean’s words, and was further confused at the sudden sad pity that was coming from Sam. Was Dean angry with her? That didn’t explain why Sam seemed to be feeling so bad for him though.

“I guess I’ll go find him then…” Katrina said, standing up.

“You guys!” Charlie burst into the room, “We got a hit!”

“Are you sure?” Dean asked, “ Where at?”

“Some storage unit in Idaho. We’ve got a facial match from about three minutes ago.”

“Get your things Sam,” Dean barked, “Kat, go with Charlie and see what the exact location is.”

They all split. Dean rushed to his own room, picking up the bag at the foot of his bed that had been packed for days in anticipation.

“What’s going on?” Dean turned to see Castiel outside his door.

“We found Metatron, we’re going after him.”

“Finally. Where are we going?”

Dean passed Castiel, heading back to the library, “We’re going somewhere in Idaho. You’re staying here.”

“What?” Castiel asked incredulously, following Dean, “Why?”

“You’re just a human now, it won’t be safe for you.”

“You and Sam are human too!”

“Yeah, except we’ve been human our whole lives, and that’s the only way we’ve ever had to fight. You’re not an angel anymore, so the ways you learned how to fight won’t work anymore. You don’t have enough training.”

“I did just fine on my own before I got to the bunker! I had to kill angels, even though I was just a human!”

“The answer’s no Cas,” Dean had kept his eyes forward the entire time, refusing to meet Castiel’s glare.

“Well it’s a good thing that that’s not up to you. You can’t keep me from coming if Katrina takes me with you.”

“I’ll just have to make sure that she doesn’t then.”

“What’s going on?” Sam asked as Castiel and Dean entered the library. Katrina was back as well, looking at Sam’s collection of weapons. They had heard them arguing from the hall.

“Dean wants me to stay here while you go to face Metatron.”

“It’s not safe for him to come with us. He hasn’t had enough training to be able to defend himself, and we need to be able to focus on the task on hand. We won’t be able to do that if we’re busy worrying about keeping him safe.”

“I can take care of myself!”

“It wouldn’t really be fair if we didn’t let him come,” Katrina said, “He’s the one who was betrayed by Metatron… he deserves his revenge…”

“He won’t be able to get his revenge if he’s dead!” Dean’s voice had started to rise.

“I won’t die! I’ve taken care of myself just fine as a human before! And even if I do, Katrina can-”

Dean spun around, finally meeting Castiel’s eyes, shouting, “That doesn’t matter! I can’t watch you die again Cas! I can’t!”

Castiel stared back, eyes wide at the panic in Dean’s. “But if Katrina heals me… it won’t matter…” he said quietly.

“Don’t you get it? That doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter that you’ll be fine again in a minute or two. When I see you die, I can’t think about any of that! All I see is you, dead. I can’t do it Cas.”

Silence settled over the room as the two men stared at each other. The raw pain in Dean’s voice and eyes had Castiel speechless.

“He’s right…” Katrina finally said, breaking the silence.

“Katrina-” Castiel started.

“I mean it. He’s right. The most important task for me should be getting your grace back. I won’t be able to focus on that if I have to worry about protecting you. Everyone here knows that if faced with the option of saving you and keeping Metatron from getting away, I would choose saving you within a second. We can’t afford that right now.”

“But I can take care of myself…” Castiel said weakly.

“No. You can’t. Last time you encountered an angel, you died. And the time before that you would have died if I weren’t there to save you,” Katrina said sternly. “And if something ends up happening to me, I won’t be able to bring you back. It won’t do anyone any good if both of us die.”

“Maybe you should just sit this one out…” Sam agreed.

“Fine,” Castiel bit out, his fists clenched. He turned on his heel and stalked back off to his room.

Katrina watched him leave, frowning sadly.

“Thanks Kat,” Dean said quietly.

“You don’t need to thank me. You were right. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it sooner.”

“We should go,” Sam interjected, “we’ve wasted a lot of time.” He handed Katrina an angel blade, “I picked up a few of these from last time.”

“Will they work on shifters?”

“Yeah they work on just about everything, except you and the Leviathan.”

“Alright, let’s get going.”

Katrina put her hands on both of the boys’ shoulders and took off.

* * *

“Come on Kevin! If we don’t hurry up they’ll leave without us!” Charlie called back behind her. She ran into the library, bag in hand. Kevin came in seconds later. The Winchesters were nowhere in sight.

“God damnit.”

* * *

Dark.

Katrina threw a glance over to Sam as they walked down the corridor. If it weren’t for the current situation, she would laugh. They had been there for about five minutes now, and Katrina had discovered that Sam went into a sort of trance when he was hunting. His thoughts had become simple, one or two word statements. He sounded like a caveman. He didn’t seem to be able to hear her thoughts either, or at least he didn’t pay them any attention.

Katrina hadn’t been able to sense Metatron when they arrived, but Dean had said there was a chance that the unit he was in was warded so that he couldn’t be found. They had covered two sections without finding anything. Dean had split up their areas so that their paths would cross at the end of every section. Katrina had to admit that he was pretty good with strategy. He had also had Katrina take out the security cameras so they couldn’t be traced back to the scene. She and Sam heard steps coming around the corner in front of them. Katrina could tell that it was Dean, but Sam tightened his grip on his gun, raising it.

Danger.

She put her hand on his arm, pushing it down gently. Dean came around the corner and Sam relaxed.

Dean.

The word was surprisingly warm. Katrina realized that she had never heard a word filled with so much love. It was sweet. Hearing someone’s thoughts was different than she would have ever imagined it to be. She didn’t just hear words. It wasn’t like reading them off of a page, plain and without context. With the words she heard and felt their connotations. It wasn’t just “Dean.” It was “Brother,” and “Safe,” and “Family.”

It made her wish that she had had siblings. The last time she had felt anything close to familial, unconditional love was with her father, and that was nearly twenty years ago. Maybe her and her brother or sister would have been able to bond over the insanity of their mother.

There wasn’t time to dwell on that however. Suddenly, something caught Katrina’s attention. She could hear a sort of chanting.

“You guys hear that?”

“Hear what?” Dean asked.

Katrina led them towards the sound. She could tell that it was loud enough for their ears when she heard Sam.

Noise. Metatron.

They finally stopped at the unit that seemed to be the source of the noise. When Sam and Dean signalled that they were ready, Katrina took hold of the large metal doors handle and wrenched it up, bending it in half so that they could enter. They were met with the surprised and angry stares of about two dozen shifters. Katrina could see what the boy had meant when he said they seemed to be wearing masks. These creatures would never pass for the people they were impersonating if humans could see them like this.

“Shit…” Dean muttered.

Too many.

After a moment’s hesitation, the shifters sprang forward to attack. Sam and Dean started firing immediately, dropping five shifters with silver bullets in a matter of seconds. Katrina focused on something else. An angel she could only assume was Metatron was near the back of the room. She made her way towards him, cutting down the few shifters that got in her way. Metatron looked far too calm for someone who was currently under attack.

Getting a firm grip on her blade, she closed the space between them, backing him against a wall. He stared at her calmly.

“I don’t believe I know you…” he said curiously, “Which is weird… I was under the impression that I knew all the angels.”

“I’m here for Castiel’s grace. Where is it?”

“Ah, so Castiel managed to find some minions after all. Not surprising I suppose, he’s always had a… talent for leadership. Where is he anyways?”

Katrina pressed the tip of her blade against his chest, “Don’t change the subject.”

“Ah ah ah…” Metatron tutted, “Patience is a virtue.”

“You’re not really in a position to be preaching right now,” Katrina said through gritted teeth.

“I think you’ve underestimated my position then,” Metatron smiled. Katrina felt something sharp against her back. “You’re not the only one with an angel blade.”

Katrina tensed, “I’m surprised you let a shifter have a weapon that could potentially kill you. Seems a bit risky.”

“Who said it was a shifter?”

“I don’t think I know her either,” said the angel from behind her, “I wonder where Castiel found her.”

“How did you manage to get an angel to side with you?” Katrina spat, “If I were him I would’ve killed you on sight. Not joined you.”

“It’s all business,” Metatron shrugged, “I’m the only one who can get people into heaven now. You’d be surprised how many people are willing to overlook their quarrels with me when they realize that. I could help you get in too you know. I don’t think Castiel could offer you that.”

Katrina glared at him, unanswering.

“No? Alright. Brother, if you would.”

Katrina felt the blade plunge in between her shoulder blades. She grimaced in pain before laughing at the surprised look on Metatron’s face.

“Never been, I think I’ll be fine.” She reached her free hand back, smiting the angel in a bright light. Metatron’s shock grew visibly. Katrina slowly pulled the blade out of her back, her mouth twisting. “How about you tell me where Castiel’s grace is then?”

“What in God’s name are you..?” Metatron asked, dumbfounded. He shifted under her grasp. Katrina saw something glitter in the space between his shirt buttons. Ripping it open, she discovered a small glass bottle hanging from a chain around his neck. Inside was a silvery liquid substance. It pulsed and shined against his chest. It was Castiel’s grace. It had to be.

She yanked the chain from his neck, snapping it. She then put it around her own neck, mending the broken links.

“Well, I guess I’m done with you then,” Katrina said nonchalantly, moving the blade up to the angel’s neck. Before she could drive it home, however, a sudden sharp pain in her stomach and a yell from behind her interrupted. She dropped both blades, staggering back. Metatron took the opportunity, stepping forward and picking up the blade that was already covered in her blood. She flinched, expecting him to stab her, but instead he disappeared. She spun around and saw Sam leaning up against a wall, clutching his own stomach. The knife that had pierced him was in the hands of a shifter, who was now falling to the ground after having been shot by Dean.

“Sam!” Dean shouted, finally killing the last shifter and running to Sam’s side.

Katrina stumbled over to him as well, the pain beginning to subside and slowly being replaced with a mild fatigue.

Sam’s breath was ragged as he took his hands away from his stomach, looking at the blood that was smeared on them. Then, he frantically lifted up his shirt.

There was no wound.

His unmarked skin was just covered in blood that seemed to have no source.

“What the hell…?” Dean murmured.

Katrina? Sam looked up at her, shocked.

Yeah, I think so…

Katrina took a few steps back so that her thoughts could be her own. She looked around at the room, getting a good look at it for the first time. There were symbols drawn all over the walls. They seemed to be drawn in blood. There was a table in the middle of the room, surprisingly untouched by the commotion that had just occurred. There was a number of strange substances on it, a bowl, candles, and a sheet of paper with strange runes on it.

“You okay Sammy?” Dean asked, checking Sam’s body with his own hands to assure himself that he was unharmed.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s check this place out and get out as soon as possible.”

Dean nodded, going to observe the table as well.

“Looks like they were doing some kind of spell,” he said, picking up the old, yellowed paper. He tucked it into his jacket pocket.

“Did you find Cas’s grace?” Sam asked, searching the pockets of the dead shifters.

“Yeah,” Katrina grinned triumphantly, holding up the glass bottle from her neck. She had nearly forgotten about it. Now that the mission was over, she could remember why they had started in the first place. Castiel would be an angel again, and she finally wouldn’t be the only non-human in the bunker. They would be equal in power, and they could both live for hundreds more years if fate allowed. She could hardly contain her joy and resist the temptation to fly to Castiel now to give it to him. She closer her hand around the bottle, closing her eyes. She could feel it pulsating underneath her palm. It was so powerful, yet so beautiful. She could recognize it from when she had first been transformed and had felt Castiel’s soul. Of course, it had also been tainted from the souls of purgatory inside of him, but this had been there too.

“Kat!”

Katrina snapped out of her thoughts, “What?”

“I said let’s go. There’s nothing else here, and we don’t wanna be here when the cops show up.”

“Alright,” Katrina beamed. She put her hands on the boys’ shoulders again.

Someone sure is happy.

Damn straight I am.

Her mouth in a wide grin, Katrina took off with the Winchesters in tow.

 

 


	10. Mine

“Castiel!” Katrina called as they landed in the library. “Castiel! We’re back!”

“Cas?” Dean called as well, worried at the lack of response.

“He’s pouting in his room,” Katrina sighed, “I’ll go get him.” Taking the cautious approach, Katrina walked to Castiel’s room, knocking on the door. “Castiel? It’s me. I’ve got something for you.”

There was no response.

“Castiel, I know you’re in there. And you know this door won’t stop me from coming in there.”

She heard him get up and approach the door and took a step back. When the door opened slowly, she held up the vial containing Castiel’s grace, smiling widely. Castiel eyed it warily.

“Are you sure it’s mine?”

“One hundred percent,” she held it out to him.

Castiel took it hesitantly. He could feel the power pulsing out of it, but it didn’t feel familiar, it felt alien. He stared at it for a bit, frowning.

“Well, are you gunna open it?” Katrina asked expectantly. She could hardly keep herself from bouncing with joy.

“What was Metatron doing when you got there?”

“Uh… he was chanting something. Dean said it was a spell. He had a bunch of shifters with him, and a table with all sorts of weird stuff on it.”

“Was he using my grace for the spell?”

“Dunno, might’ve been.”

“I shouldn’t open this quite yet then.”

“Why not?” Katrina asked, shocked as Castiel handed it back to her.

“If Metatron has does something to my grace, it would be unwise for me to attempt to integrate it back into my system.”

“How do we know whether he has or not…?” Katrina didn’t think that it felt tampered with. It only felt like Castiel, nothing else.

“We should first figure out what kind of spell he was doing.”

“Sam and Dean have the paper with the spell on it.”

“Alright, let’s go look at it.”

Castiel didn’t know why, but he couldn’t quell the sense of dread that was bubbling up within him.

“Hey Cas. You got your mojo back then?” Dean said, not looking up from the substances he was unpacking.

“No, not yet.” Castiel replied, sitting down at the table.

Dean looked up, his eyes lit with a hope that didn’t make much sense to Castiel or Katrina.

“Why not?”

“He’s afraid Metatron might have done something to it. He wants to see the spell.”

“By all means,” Sam handed it to him, “I have no idea what it says.”

“It’s in enochian,” Castiel said, beginning to read it.

The rest of them waited patiently.

“I have no idea what this is…” Castiel finally said after looking at the list of instructions and incantations on the old piece of parchment.

Sam and Dean let out a gust of air in defeat.

“I guess we’re back on square one then,” Dean said, “We have no idea what Metatron is up to.”

“And Castiel is still a human…” Katrina sighed.

“I have an idea... but you’re not gunna like it,” Sam said slowly.

* * *

“Visitors again? Lucky me!” The voice came from behind the bookcase as they all entered the dark prison disguised as an ordinary room, “Did you bring that interesting specimen with you? I’d very much like to speak with her again.”

Dean shot Katrina a questioning look.

“I might have come down to investigate a while ago...”

“There she is! Good to see you darling! Well, hear you. Can’t see you yet.”

The bookcase swung open, revealing Crowley’s imprisoned figure.

Dean strode over to him, pulling the bag off of his head. Crowley grimaced at the sudden amount of light.

“And to what do I owe the pleasure, boys? And girl.”

Castiel stepped forward, “We need you to tell us what the spell is for.”

“Cassie! It’s been so long! Wings clipped then? What a shame, I am truly sorry.” He didn’t sound very sorry at all.

“Crowley,” Dean growled in warning.

“What?”

“We need you to figure out what this spell does,” Sam said.

“Oh my!” Crowley said, acting flustered, and fanning himself sarcastically. “You need me! What a turn around we’ve made.” He dropped the act, “Now, tell me moose, why would I do anything for you? You’ve got me in shackles in your basement for christ’s sake!”

“He’s got a good point,” Katrina added quietly. She was met with three glares. “What?”

“I like her. Better than you lot at least.”

“Maybe we can make a deal,” Katrina said, coming closer to the table, “You like deals, right?”

“If it involves me getting the hell out of this chair, I’m all for it,” Crowley held up his shackled hands.

“No way,” Dean interjected.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” Crowley drawled, “I’ll make a deal with her, not with you oafs. He gestured to the chair in front of him, “Please, sit down.”

Katrina started towards the seat, but Castiel grabbed ahold of her arm. “Katrina don’t. He’s a demon, all he does is lie and play tricks.”

“I can handle myself Castiel,” gently pulling her arm out of his grip, she pulled the chair out, sitting down.

“There is no way we’re letting you leave the bunker,” she asserted.

“Understandable. I want liquor. Something good. And I want you to tell me about yourself.”

“What? Why?”

“I’m curious.”

“He just wants to know if he can use you,” Castiel cut in.

“Hey, hey,” Dean interrupted, “None of this matters if he can’t even tell us what the spell is.”

“Fine. Sam, give me the paper,” Katrina held out her hand.

Sam handed it to her reluctantly. Katrina passed it to Crowley.

They waited anxiously as he looked over it, his lip between his teeth.

Katrina tried to keep her patience in check. Crowley was definitely taking his time.

Finally, he set the paper down, taking a deep breath, “Well, I have a theory.”

Dean let out a frustrated sigh, “Well that’s useless!”

“I’ll have you know it is a very good theory! I’ve seen a very similar spell before. I believe that this spell is exactly like it. Except that this one is designed for heaven, and the one I encountered before was meant for hell. The only difference is a few ingredients and a couple of the words in the incantation. Oh, and one more thing you may want to know is that one of the ingredients is an angel’s grace.” He looked directly at Castiel.

“I believe him,” Katrina stated.

“Yeah well I don’t,” Dean snapped, “I’ll consider believing him when I hear the whole thing.”

“Tell the squirrel that I’m not going to tell him anything until I know what I’m getting out of it.” Crowley said to Katrina, smirking.

“What are we gunna do? Just let him walk around in the bunker with us?? He’s our prisoner, not our pet demon!”

“I’m assuming that any promise you might make about not trying to escape or kill us in our sleep would be complete bullshit,” Karina said wryly.

“Not necessarily. I’d like to think that I’m an honorable business man. When I make a deal, I keep up my end.”

“You mean like you did with Bobby’s soul?” Dean said angrily.

“I’ll admit, that was a bit backhanded of me… But he got it back.”

“Yeah,” Sam interjected, “Because we forced you to.”

“Think about it this way. My freedom and comfort are significantly more important to me than Bobby’s soul was, and how much I may or may not want you dead now. I’m a demon. I have to wait, what, forty years or so at most? And that’s if you die of old age and not a knife in your back. After you’re gone I’m free to get the hell out of here. Forty years really isn’t that long for things like me.”

“Those chains around his neck and feet keep him from being able to use his powers, right?” Katrina asked Sam. Sam nodded. “Well, what if we kept on the collar and the bangles but took off the chains holding him in place? He’d be able to walk around freely, but he’ll be powerless.”

“Being powerless won’t keep him from putting a knife to our necks,” Sam said.

“Well I guess we just won’t let him near any knives then,” Katrina said in a matter-of-fact tone, “We don’t really have any other options.”

“There’s no way,” Dean shook his head.

“I don’t know what on Earth got you under the impression that you have supreme power or something,” Katrina bristled, “But you are not in charge here. We need to stop Metatron, and we can’t do that if we don’t even know what we’re supposed to be stopping. If I have to, I’ll keep an eye on him while you guys sleep so that he doesn’t try anything. We’re not going to lose this battle against Metatron because you guys are scared of a powerless demon.”

Dean stewed for a bit, looking to Sam and Castiel for some sort of backup, but received none.

“Fine,” Dean threw his hands up, then pointed at Katrina, “But he is your responsibility. You have to keep an eye on him at all times. If he gets out, or hurts someone, it’s on you.”

“I understand.” She turned to Crowley. “So, the terms are that you tell us everything you can about this spell, and we’ll let you out of this room and get you your scotch. But, you can’t leave the bunker and you can’t try to hurt anyone in it, and we’ll keep you in a collar so that you can’t use your powers. The moment you fail to hold up your end of the bargain, you’re coming right back here, and you’ll never see anything but these walls ever again.”

“And don’t forget, you have to tell me about yourself,” Crowley added.

“Sure, I’ll tell you my life story or whatever. Do we have a deal?”

“Yes, we have a deal.”

“Good,” Katrina said, standing.

“Ah ah ah,” Crowley smirked, “Don’t you know anything about demons? You’ve got to seal the deal.”

“No,” Castiel growled, taking a step forward.

“Isn’t that just for souls?” Katrina asked, crossing her arms and ignoring Castiel. She knew exactly what he meant. Thank God she had done her reading.

“It’s how we sign contracts,” Crowley shrugged.

“Sounds like a load of shit to me.”

“Think what you want, it’s not a deal if you don’t seal it.”

Katrina narrowed her eyes.

“Katrina, don’t,” Castiel said, “I can make the deal.” Katrina resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She had forgotten about Castiel’s issues with jealousy.

“My, my Castiel. I had no idea you would be so eager for a kiss from me,” Crowley grinned.

“No. He’s my responsibility. I can do it.” Katrina said before Castiel could respond. She grimaced and placed her palms on the table, leaning in towards Crowley. Crowley winked at Castiel over her shoulder before putting his hands on hers and meeting her lips.

Katrina had been expecting just a peck, but then she felt Crowley force her mouth open. She resisted the urge to gag. He tasted like sulfur and ashes. She felt Sam’s disgust and irritation mix with her own, and she could only imagine how Castiel looked right now. He was probably smoking through his ears. Then Crowley bit down on her lip, hard. She jerked back, breaking away from him.

“What the hell?” she said angrily, bringing a hand up to her mouth. The taste of sulfur lingered in her mouth.

“Sorry love, guess I just got a little excited,” Crowley wasn’t looking at her, instead he was smirking at Castiel, whom Katrina was sure was absolutely fuming.

“Whatever, now tell us what the damn spell is for,” Katrina snapped.

“Alright, alright,” Crowley sighed, “Well, you know how there are two different back doors to hell? There’s one in purgatory, and the one that you boys so graciously opened a few years back. There is also a door to Earth from purgatory that only works for humans. This spell is for creating such a door, more specifically a door to heaven, or so I’ve gathered. It makes sense, taking into account the current state of heaven’s gates... that is, locked. With this spell, Metatron can create a completely new door, but this new one is a bit more exclusive. Just like the door in purgatory can only be entered by humans, the only ones who can enter through this door are ones who have been… blessed, in a way, by the same grace that was used to create the doorway. If I’m not mistaken, that grace is Castiel’s grace.”

“So that’s what he was doing with all of those shifters…” Katrina murmured.

“Did he succeed in casting the spell on them?” Castiel asked.

“Even if he did,” Dean said, “It doesn’t matter. We killed them all.”

“The fact that Metatron would let those creatures into heaven…” Castiel fumed, “It’s disgusting. What is wrong with him?”

“Well,” Sam said thoughtfully, “He’s God’s scribe. He wasn’t a warrior. If I were him, I probably wouldn’t want all of my minions to be angels either. He needs to make sure that his followers are weaker than him, to be safe.”

“Basically he’s heaven’s biggest nerd and the last thing he needs is a team of people who could kick his ass within seconds,” Dean snorted.

“So what do we do now?” Katrina asked.

“I don’t know, find the doorway?” Sam said.

“How would we do that?”

“Well… maybe there’s a spell we can use to find it, since we have Cas’s grace now.”

“Hello?” Crowley interrupted, “If you don’t mind… maybe you could continue this conversation after you’ve unchained me?”

“I’m seriously considering putting a gag on him,” Katrina muttered.

“Wait,” Castiel said suddenly, “We can’t let him out just yet.”

“Why not?”

“Kevin.”

“Shit…” Dean murmured, “I forgot about that.”

“I’m not really comfortable with Charlie being around while Crowley is out either…” Katrina added, “If Crowley tried anything with us, we could take care of it. I’m not so sure about her.”

“Kevin’s not safe out there, and he’s family. We can’t just kick him out of the bunker,” Dean said sternly.

“All Kevin does every single day of his life is try to figure out what that stupid rock says. He’s just a kid. He should live his life, not stay cooped up in here for all eternity. We won’t be kicking him out, we’ll be doing him some good.” Katrina rebutted.

“But it’s not safe for him! He’s been hunted since day one!”

“If I may point out,” Crowley interjected, “The one who was commanding that hunt was me. With me locked up… no one’s really looking for the little prophet.”

“We could ward wherever we put him,” Sam suggested.

“No!” Dean yelled, “The safest place for him is here! There is no way in hell!”

* * *

“Wait, what?” Kevin asked, his face a mix of surprise and confusion.

“It’s not safe here anymore, and we’ve all agreed that it’d be best if you and Charlie hide out somewhere else for a bit, till we get things straightened out,” Katrina explained.

“I’m assuming by all you don’t mean Dean,” Charlie raised an eyebrow, “I heard him storm into his room earlier.”

“Dean… has his own opinions, but he was ruled out,” Sam said.

“So you’re just kicking us out?”

“No, no,” Katrina said quickly, shaking her head, “We’ve got a place set up for you and everything, it’s nearby and warded completely so that you’ll be safe. It’s not for forever. Just until we can get everything sorted out.”

“It’s not some sketch warehouse or anything, is it?” Kevin asked reluctantly.

“Nope,” Katrina assured him, “It’s a really nice apartment. You’ve got a T.V. and wifi and everything. I set it all up myself. I’ll come in to check on you every few days. There’s really nothing to worry about.”

“Except you guys…” Charlie frowned.

“Yeah, I don’t wanna leave. I want to help you guys,” Kevin agreed.

“Sorry guys, it’s a bit too dangerous,” Sam said, “We’d love to have you stay too, but your safety is more important.”

Katrina could feel the guilt rolling off of Sam. He hated lying to them. Katrina wasn’t too happy either. She liked Kevin and Charlie, and the thought of making them leave to make room for Crowley made her feel a bit sick. But it had to be done. At least for now.

Once this was all over, Katrina wouldn’t be surprised if she just killed Crowley herself. Her mouth still tasted like sulfur. She wanted to brush her teeth for an hour.

“There’s something you’re not telling us,” Kevin said suspiciously, “If it was just that the bunker’s safety has been compromised, you would have told us the specifics. You’re keeping it as vague as possible. Something’s up.”

Katrina shifted uncomfortably, looking to Sam. She had never been a good liar. Ever since she had been a kid, she had failed spectacularly at elaborate lies, and even though her father had always said it was endearing, it was quite inconvenient in the real world. She didn’t trust herself to make up some story. That would have to be Sam’s job.

“Sorry,” Sam said, “ I know you’re not gunna like it but it’s honestly better if you don’t know. We don’t want you to worry.”

So much for an elaborate lie.

“That’s stupid,” Charlie countered, “Not knowing is just going to make us worry more!”

“Yeah,” Kevin agreed.

“Please,” Katrina pleaded, “Just trust us.”

Kevin and Charlie stewed for a bit, before Kevin bit out, “You’re going to check in on us every other day. No exceptions.”

“Right, I’ll stop by to make sure that everything is okay with you guys regularly.”

“No,” Charlie shook her head, “You’re not coming to check on us. You’re going to stop by so that we know that you guys are still alive.”

Katrina smiled, “Right. Of course.” She really hated that she had to make them leave. They were really a good couple of kids.

When she finally got them situated in their new home and returned, she found Crowley sitting at the table, sipping his scotch. Sam was sitting as far away from him as possible, a scowl etched onto his face as he stared at his laptop.

“Ah, there you are,” Crowley smiled, “Been waiting for you to get back so we can have our little story time.”  
“Later Crowley,” Katrina brushed him off, “We can save the chit chat for when everyone else is asleep.”

“Ooh, how clandestine,” Crowley purred. Katrina rolled her eyes. Castiel walked into the room, and Katrina lit up immediately.

“Castiel!” she smiled, crossing to him, “Now that we know that Metatron didn’t do anything to your grace, you can take it back now!”

Castiel shifted uncomfortably, “We’re not quite certain of that yet… Maybe we should wait… We might need it later to find or dismantle the gate…”

Katrina’s face fell, “I… I guess so.”

“I’m tired,” Castiel said, “I think I’ll go to bed,” he kissed her on the cheek.

“Goodnight,” Katrina mumbled, frowning as she watched Castiel leave. When he was gone, she took her own seat at the table.

“You okay?” Sam asked, looking up from his laptop.

“Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to Sam,” Katrina sighed. She knew that he could feel her emotions with complete clarity.

“Right. Do you wanna talk about it?”

“There’s not much to talk about… I thought that getting his grace was gunna be the end of it. Apparently not.  I just don’t get why Castiel is so worried.”

“Can’t you see darling? He’s stalling. It’s plain as day,” Crowley replied, completely ignoring the fact that his input was obviously not welcome. Sam glared at him, but Katrina just looked at him questioningly.

“What? Why would he do that? He hates being human.”

“Does he?” Crowley said knowingly.

“As far as I know…” Katrina couldn’t help it; dread was starting to creep up in her chest.

“What you need to ask yourself is, what does Castiel have as a human that he won’t have as an angel?”

“I...I don’t know…” Katrina stuttered, “He can still eat… and have sex… and he won’t be alone. He’ll have me.”

“Well, perhaps that’s not good enough for him,” Crowley shrugged.

Katrina’s face spasmed with pain as she clenched her fists against the table. That wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true. She couldn’t have gone all this way to get Castiel’s grace for him to just… not want it.

“Alright alright,” Sam stood, sensing her distress, “Calm down. Remember who you’re talking to,” he stood next to her and put his hands on her shoulders, crouching down slightly so that he could reach them. He shot a glare over to Crowley, “Stop trying to screw with her.”

Katrina could see and hear all the of the things that Sam wished he could be doing to Crowley. The anger was starting to make her heart race, like it was her own anger. She took a deep breath, “You’re right. I shouldn’t have gotten upset so easily.” She put a hand on Sam’s forearm. He focused back on her, his thoughts automatically becoming warmer. He straightened back up, and Katrina breathed a small sigh of relief. The amount of emotion she could feel from him while they were touching was almost overwhelming. It was like having two people inside her head.

“I should stay up with you while you watch him,” Katrina could still feel the protectiveness and concern washing over her from Sam as he stood next to her.

She rose from her chair, “No. Don’t be ridiculous. You need to sleep.”

“But-”

“Sam,” Katrina placed a hand on his chest, “I’ll be fine.” She didn’t know why she was touching him. It was a terrible idea. She could feel the affection and worry pouring off of him in waves, so much that she couldn’t even feel her own emotions. She could feel her soul soaking up the affection like a sponge. It was like her soul was purring like a cat.This was dangerous. People shouldn’t be able to be this connected, this close. There was no way to deny the intimacy of it. Their souls were bare to each other, but the flux of information coming in made it impossible to pick out any one thought.

Finally she could feel her own distress rising to the surface, and she could sense Sam receiving the distress. It was like some sort of weird tide of emotions, passing and building back and forward between them. She yanked her hand away, her chest heaving. What felt like years had only been a matter of seconds. Sam stared back at her, his eyes wide and his pupils dilated. They were both speechless, their minds still passing emotions and thoughts back and forward, less extreme than before. Katrina could finally pick out his thoughts, but it was only one word.

Katrina.

Katrina.

Katrina.

It echoed between them, and alarm spread through her. The way the word was held in his mind was with far too much affection, far too much warmth. It terrified her.

A cough sounded to their side. They jumped and turned to look at Crowley, who raised his eyebrows at them. Sam shook his head frantically, like a horse shaking off flies.

“I’ll just… go to bed then. Yeah. Goodnight.”

“Night…” She murmured.

“This is turning out to be quite the dramatic show, if I do say so myself,” Crowley said after Sam had left, “I feel like I’m in the midst of a soap opera.”

Katrina shook her head, sitting down across from Crowley, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Well,” Crowley shrugged, “Correct me if I’m wrong, but you and Castiel obviously have something going on. You should have seen his face earlier...” he chuckled, “So you two are together, whatever, but…” he smirked slyly, “It seems you’re having a bit of Winchester on the side… Like ‘em tall, eh?”

“Don’t be stupid,” Katrina snapped, “I’m not cheating on Castiel.”

“Alright,” Crowley held his hands up in faux surrender, “No need to get fussy again. But obviously there’s something going on there, something secret.”

Katrina shifted uncomfortably, “There is. But it’s nothing like that. There was just a slight… ramification that we decided wasn’t necessary to share with anyone. It has affected our friendship, but not like that. If anything, it has driven us farther apart. It’s awkward. What you just witnessed, is not something either of us want to experience again. We’re not developing feelings for eachother behind Castiel’s back.”

“Could you tell me exactly what it was that I just witnessed? ‘Cause it just looked like a lot of incredible tension to me,” Crowley raised his eyebrows.

“No, that’s none of your business.”

“You promised that you’d tell me about yourself.”

“I did. But that’s not just about myself. It’s not a crucial part of who I am, therefore, it is not necessary for me to share it with you.”

“Fine, fine,” Crowley waved her off, “How about we get a deck of cards? Then we’ll have something to do while you tell me the ‘crucial’ parts of who you are.”

“Poker with the king of hell,” Katrina said, “That should be interesting.”

“I’ll try to go easy on you.”

* * *

“So…” Crowley said, mulling over his cards, “You’re dating your own God? Bit twisted, isn’t it?”

Katrina flushed, “No. It’s not like that.”

“Really? What’s it like then? Are you two equals?”

“Well… no,” Katrina stammered, “Of course I still hold him in high regard… he made me.”

“So you worship him. Right. Definitely very healthy.”

“What would you know?” Katrina snapped, “You’re just a demon.”

“Oh please,” Crowley rolled his eyes, “I’ve been around for hundreds of years. You think I don’t know things? The bond between a servant and a master does not a healthy relationship make.”

“I’m not his servant,” Katrina muttered, “I don’t have to do everything that he tells me.”

“But you do,” Crowley replied.

Katrina was silent.

“Tell me, do you really think that Castiel loves you?”

“What? Of course he does,” Katrina frowned.

“Why are you so sure?”

“I-I...”

“Exactly. From what I can tell, the basis of your relationship is availability.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, there Castiel is, human, all mixed up with emotions and urges,” Crowley explained, “And who comes along? You. An attractive enough woman who holds unconditional love for him already. Then, you offer something romantic. How could he not accept? He obviously cares for you. Angels were never meant to love, so what would he know about it? He doesn’t know the difference between love for a friend or a brother and one for a lover. All he knows is that he feels it. That and the aforementioned urges. So, you said you were going into psychology, do you think that an emotional attachment and sexual attraction are enough to really form a strong relationship?”

“No. But that’s not all we have.”

“Right. So tell me, why do you love Castiel?”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” Katrina huffed, looking away.

“And why do you still call him Castiel? All of the others who are close to him call him ‘Cas’.”

“I don’t feel the same need to stick nicknames onto everyone.”

“Could you call him Cas though, if you wanted to?”

“It’d be weird.”

“Because he is your superior.”

Katrina didn’t respond.

“You want to know what I think?”

“No, but I have a feeling you’re going to tell me anyways.”

“I think that you are clinging to Castiel so hard because you know that he is your only hope of love. At least, once he has his grace back. Which is why you’re so desperate for it. You’re alone. The only one of your kind. Castiel is the only one who would accept you who would be able to live the same lifespan as you. While he is a human, he will grow old and eventually he’ll die. Then you’ll be completely alone. No Castiel, no Winchesters, no family at all. In fact, all you’ll probably have is me,” he smirked. “You love Castiel because he is your only option. And now that that option is slowly slide away from your grasp, you’re panicking.”

“This has got to be the weirdest experience of my life,” Katrina groaned, “Getting relationship advice from a demon. Why are you telling me this anyways? Why do you care?”

“I don’t care. It’s one of most demon’s favorite pastimes: telling people hard, ugly truths that they don’t want to hear.”

“That’s a bit cruel.”

“Do I need to mention the demon thing again?”

“Screw you.”

“Are you offering? It has been a while.”

“Shutup.”

“So, what’re you going to do when Castiel finally flat out refuses to become an angel again?”

“He won’t.”

“Such spectacular foresight. Do share your secrets.”

“I’m done talking for the night,” Katrina put her cards down and leaned back. Propping her feet on the table, she conjured up her book and blocked Crowley out for the remainder of the night.

* * *

Castiel woke up, gasping. He had just been dreaming. It had been a chaotic scramble of fear, with no set plot. He remembered Dream Crowley's purring,

"She's more like me than she'll ever be like you... She's no angel. She's a monster."

Katrina had stood at his side, her mouth set in a wicked grin as her eyes gleamed black. Then the demon's arms had wrapped around her waist and pulled her close, their mouths hungry.  Of course, Castiel knew it wasn't realistic. But remembering that demon's lips on her's made Castiel's stomach knot with anger and jealousy. Jealousy was such a disgusting emotion. He hated it. But he was a human now, and so he felt it.

A more realistic image from his dream that was branded into his mind was the sight of a hundreds of years old graveyard. The stones around him were battered and ancient, as was the world around him. Before him was a tombstone marked "Dean Winchester." There was no quote, no dedication, no date, simply a worn-down carving of his name on a cold gray stone. It was obvious that the headstone had been placed hundreds of years in the past. Yet, Castiel was as young as he always was, and always would be. The treeless land around him stretched on for eternity, just like he would.

It was with this that he had woken up, and after his brief moment of panic, he remembered that he was still human and was surprised to feel relief flood through him. The next thing he felt was guilt. Katrina was counting on him to remain by her side. She would be alone for eternity, just like he was in his nightmare, if he did not follow through for her.

It had been a long time since he had had nightmares regularly. Normally, Katrina would soothe his mind before they really bothered him. But it had been three days since he had had to start sleeping on his own. Now the unsettled feeling in his chest that he was still unused to swept over him, making him feel like a child. Thinking of Katrina suddenly turned his thoughts to what she was doing now. She was with Crowley, and he felt his stomach turn again. His mouth twisted into a scowl and he threw his tangled blankets away from him, standing. Realistically, he knew that there was little to no chance that Crowley could ever manage to seduce Katrina, (though his constant comments and suggestions for the last few days had suggested that he was really trying to) and that if there was anyone he should worry about it would be Sam.

Samuel Winchester. Castiel mulled him over as he pulled on his shirt. Something had changed recently. It was something subtle, yet immense. It was nothing one would notice on a first glance, but over time with enough observation things began to stand out. There was an undeniable tension. Ever since Katrina had healed him a second time, they had nearly always placed themselves at opposite ends of the room. Whenever they were closer, they seemed extremely uncomfortable, and would sometimes look at each other, as if on cue, at the exact same moment. Their eyes always communicated something, but Castiel could never catch it before they looked away from each other, the breaking of eye contact often accompanied by a simultaneous, slight shift away from each other, as if being on separate continents would only just barely suffice as enough space between them. But it was not out of contempt. There was no maliciousness in their glances and their distance, only a mutual recognition of a need for space. It was strange.

As well as their glances and shifts away from each other, they also seemed to be synchronized in movements and facial expressions. Sam would get frustrated over something while researching, and Katrina's mouth would turn into a subtle frown from across the room without even looking at him. Once he had even seen Sam stub his toe, hissing in pain, and then seen Katrina flinch as if she had been the one to hurt herself. But of course she couldn't feel it, that would be impossible. He suspected that Katrina was simply very sensitive to the emotions around her, and perhaps a bit more towards Sam, given their friendship and the fact that she had possessed him in the past.

It was all very confusing, and it fueled the disgusting, writhing monster of jealousy within him, even though he couldn't honestly say that either of them were doing anything wrong. But he simply couldn't help it. Sometimes it took complete control over his mind, and he had accidentally broken things on several occasions. He knew now to never let himself hold anything fragile while he was in the room with them. He didn't know how to confront her of course. What would he say? I've noticed that sometimes you fold and unfold your arms at the same time as Sam, what's going on? Sometimes you get angry at the same time as Sam, do you love him? It was ridiculous. He felt like an idiot. Maybe he was imagining it all.

No, he couldn't be. He stalked through the hallway, working his lip between his teeth. Just because he was human didn't mean he had acquired all of humanity's affinity for dramatic interpretations of unimportant things.

He entered the library to find Katrina, Crowley, and Sam sitting around the table. Sam was still in his pajamas, his hair a chaotic mess as he sipped his coffee. Katrina was smiling at him teasingly. She had taken to making comments on his hair, especially in the morning. Sam never got irritated though, he simply smiled back at her or stuck his tongue out and went about his usual morning routine.

The ugly monster in Castiel's chest reared its head. Katrina looked up at him, her smile dying.

"Castiel?" she asked, concerned. It seemed his emotions were showing plainly on his face. He set his mouth in a straight line and made his way towards her. He took her hand, pulling her up from her chair and placing his other hand firmly on the back of her neck. He pulled her to him and he could feel her surprise, but she didn't resist him as he smashed their lips together. Luckily so, given that if she used a fraction of her total strength, he could not make her budge with the strength of her entire body. She broke away from him, stuttering.

"C-castiel? What are you-?" She blushed before throwing a glance over her shoulder. At Sam. Sam was looking back at her, looking just as shocked and extremely uncomfortable. Castiel seethed, gritting his teeth before growling out,

"Come." He released her neck and began to pull her out of the room by her hand.

"I have to watch Crowley," Katrina protested weakly.

"Sam can watch him," he ground out.

"Okay..." Katrina said softly, allowing herself to be led back to his bedroom.

* * *

As soon as the door clicked shut, Katrina found herself being almost violently disrobed. Castiel tore off her clothes, his teeth marking her skin territorially.

"So early in the morning..?" she joked halfheartedly. Castiel merely grunted in response. It was shocking to see him like this. Normally Castiel was so meek, always unsure of himself and whether or not he was doing things "right." This Castiel was different. He was animalistic, practically predatory as he threw her onto the bed. Of course, Katrina allowed him to throw her. She could overpower him easily if she needed to. But she didn't need to. Honestly, this would be very very hot if it weren't for the anger that was in his eyes as well as the lust. She didn't know what was fueling his anger, and she hoped that he would at least talk to her about what was wrong. But talking didn't seem to be on his mind. Maybe afterwards.

Castiel hadn't even begun to strip his clothes off yet, as he crawled over her on the bed. She lay there underneath him in nothing but her underwear, looking up at him as he stared at her, his boring into hers. He didn't touch her, simply staring at her for a moment.

"Castiel?" Katrina was really beginning to worry now.

Castiel only growled one word in reply.

"Mine."

"What?" Katrina asked, confused.

"Mine." With that, Castiel dove down, covering her mouth with his own. Any questions Katrina may have had turned to dust as one of his hands worked it's way over her body hungrily. Normally, he only provided her with enough to prepare herself for him, but now he seemed determined to make her come undone before his clothes were even off. When she attempted to pull his shirt off, he grabbed her wrist and pinned it beneath him. Katrina didn't try again as she felt the tension pooling in her stomach.

_Please don't say this is gunna take much longer._

Katrina gasped, her eyes flying open.

_God damnit Sam! Get the fuck out of here!_

_I'm not "in" anywhere! You're practically screaming at me. This is terrible._

_Shut up!_

_Can't you just get it done and over with? Speed it up a bit? Can't you use your angel mojo to do that?_

Katrina was struggling to keep her thoughts coherent as Castiel's fingers pushed her closer and closer to the edge. Her eyes jammed shut again.

_Haven't... even started... yet. Fuck._

_You have got to be kidding me. I don't think I can handle much more of this._

_I suggest you get out of here then... 'cause-_

Her thought was cut off by her own climax, wiping everything else out. Anything that Sam might have been saying was drowned out as she whimpered and writhed beneath Castiel. It was certainly the most powerful orgasm he had given her so far, and she thought she heard a ripping sound, somewhere far away. When she finally came down, panting and weak, she opened her eyes to see Castiel still staring down at her. As she lifted her hand to touch him, she found the source of the ripping noise she had heard. A handful of tattered blanket fell from her fingers.

"Oops..." she murmured.

_Holy. Shit._

_Fuck off..._ Katrina thought hazily.

_Please don't ever do that again unless you're on another continent._

_Too bad for you. It's gunna happen again right now._

_Fuck._

Katrina reached a hand up Castiel's shirt, running it over his chest.

"Mine..." he said again, as if it were the only word he knew.

Katrina nodded, smiling, "Yours," she agreed, "And you're mine."

Something softened in Castiel's eyes as leaned down to kiss her. His kiss was soft and sweet, and the hardness in his body and stature had gone. Well... All except one particular part of his body. Katrina's smiled widened to a grin as her hands went down to the waistband of his pants. Her last thought of anything other than Castiel was that she hoped Sam had made his way out of the house.

* * *

Crowley watched curiously had Sam fidgeted in his seat, the tips of his ears growing red. He was staring at his coffee cup like it was a difficult puzzle that he had been working on for hours and was growing increasingly frustrated with. His hands gripped the mug like a lifeline, his fingers going white.

"Everything alright Moose?"

Sam could only muster a glare at him in return. His face was growing redder and redder by the second, and his breath had begun to speed up. His expression turned from discomfort to complete terror, and his face was so red that Crowley feared that it may set ablaze at any second. His breath was coming out in short gasps now, his chest heaving as though he had just been running. Sam rested his head on his arm on the table, a groan escaping from his lips. Suddenly his entire body seized up. The mug shattered in his hand, the remainder of the now lukewarm coffee splashing out over his hand, which was sliced open by the shards of glass.

Sam didn't move. His breathing had begun to slow down, and when he lifted his head, his face had gone down about three shades of red. The giant of a man looked genuinely upset as he put his head in his hands. Surprisingly, no blood ran down his face from his hand.

Then, Dean walked into the room.

"Sam?"

Sam looked up, paling. He scrambled up, his stance awkward as he tugged at his clothes.

"I have to go," he said loudly, making his way towards the door, "Watch Crowley."

"In your pajamas?" Dean asked, confused, "Where's Katrina?"

"Busy," Sam snapped before closing the door behind him.

Dean threw a bewildered glance at Crowley who shrugged.

Dean went over to the entrance to the hall that led to Castiel's room. Seeming to hear something, he stepped back away from it, his mouth in a thin line and his ears red. He shook his head and went to clean up the mess that Sam had made, grumbling to himself.

Crowley watched him, preoccupied with his own thoughts.

"How peculiar..."


End file.
